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My Cultivation Experience - Shared by a German Practitioner at the 2002 European Fa Conference in Copenhagen
Honorable Master, Fellow Practitioners, Dear Guests:
My name is Monika. I am 61 years old and come from Frankfurt am Main,
Germany. Prior to my retirement I had worked as a film editor for a German TV
station. I am able to benefit from my journalistic media work experiences in my
duties with the German Falun Gong Information Center.
Today I am standing before you, my heart full. I have learned a lot during
the past three years of cultivation, have suffered much, and had collected
wondrous experiences. During all these processes I have rid myself of many
notions that had plagued me for a long time and that I had wanted to abandon
anyway, especially my impatience. It is a habit that resurfaces from time to
time and occasionally rocks my compassion. The teachings from Master have
somehow given me wings and helped me to understand after a deep reckoning how
much a practitioner must depend on the daily readings of Master's scriptures on
her path of cultivation, and especially the reading of Zhuan Falun. They
are vital for doing my part for Fa-rectification!
It was the Fa lecture in Boston of this year that finally nudged me into true
awareness and persistent action. And I almost had not gone there. Twice I had
booked the flight and canceled it, until something told me that I had to go to
Boston, and that this trip has nothing to do with any attachment. I had a solemn
feeling that I would encounter something there that would advance my
cultivation, something that would guide me further, and that is exactly how it
happened.
The first big lesson I learned that day in Boston came about through Master's
benevolence. When meeting Master, I suffered the tribulation of an almost
unintelligible translation [of his speech], blamed and chastised myself for
being exhausted and only realized later on that it is not necessary for me to
understand His words, but I could learn from the example of His demeanor, which
radiates all-encompassing benevolence toward all living beings. That was His
example to me. Through that experience I figured out that I had much to learn
yet. I often experience physical symptoms as a result of not showing enough
compassion or patience, and not enough kindness. Then I remember the image of
Master in Boston and try to improve the next time.
The second lesson I learned in Boston has to do with Fa-study and the
realization that many of us have neglected Fa-study, especially when we have
much Dafa work to do. Master has said, "And when you argue, because you've
neglected your day-to-day Fa-study or have slacked off in your cultivation, you
fall into ordinary people's ways of arguing." ("Teaching the Fa at the
2002 Fa Conference in Boston") How can we assist Master to do Fa-rectification if we fight among each other? Every time a situation like this crops up
in my surroundings, I call to mind those words, that such a situation is an
opportunity for cultivation and elevation to the next level and, that most of
all, we must study the Fa much better! If we do that, then we will quickly see
the difficulty in a different light and have a better attitude toward it.
Presently I am reading more and more, at the same time trying to let go of the
attachment of "having everything around me ship-shape" before I begin
to read. I am more successful in reading in the morning. It is also easier for
me to do the exercises in the morning. I seem to read faster, and I also
recognize how the rest of the day seems to order itself. It becomes clearer what
I need to do for Dafa and how I must do it. That way, following the natural way
of things, many chances present themselves to do Dafa work.
I discovered the importance of our role during Fa-rectification step-by-step.
I had scarcely begun my cultivation when the ban of Falun Gong in China
happened. I was outraged and on a purely human level wrote a letter to Mr. Kofi
Annan, Secretary General to the United Nations. Many other letters followed that
one, as did many a flyer that protested the persecution in China and called the
plight of the Chinese practitioners to the attention of the German people, the
German politicians and relevant public associations, urging them to act.
Participating that way I had to again and again explain my position and portray
the situation in China, my way of outwardly intervening for the Chinese
practitioners.
At the beginning I did not much feel like driving to different cities to
participate in Information Days. But then we had one in Frankfurt and I had no
more excuses. At first I hesitantly and shyly participated in the exercises in
public. But, with each exercise demonstration my feeling of responsibility rose.
I overcame my shyness and even approached people with signature petitions, with
flyers and simply with my knowledge about the criminal acts against
practitioners that we heard about from China.
Our first time in Geneva saw 1,500 of us demonstrating in front of the United
Nations building. Then came contacts with human rights organizations and the
media. Prior to each such undertaking we had to become clear among ourselves
what needed to be done, what can we do, what are we permitted to do, and which
step might be too much? The question arose how far to go with our efforts to
show compassion toward our fellow men, those people who are, out of ignorance,
doing nothing against the persecution, and where and how we can effectively
counteract this evil. It was up to us to encourage these people to actively
assist in the fight against this persecution and not stand helplessly on the
sidelines, and give them hints on how to actively assist us. Those actions would
affect their futures.
Only slowly and gradually did the far-flung spread of the persecution in
China dawn on me, because most of the information came through the Internet, and
that was a source I had no access to until two years ago. I had the greatest
aversion to a laptop computer my son had urged me to use. I had to overcome this
aversion in the fastest time and in the quickest way possible, in order to do my
part for Fa-rectification. My skirmish with technology lasted for several
months. I bit my teeth tightly and with sheer determination persisted through
each and every task, to complete a promised translation, to finish a letter, no
matter what. Often I sat in front of the computer until the wee hours of the
morning. I also knew whom I could call on for help during these night sessions.
I was always impressed at the patience of many of the Chinese practitioners who
often helped me unconditionally.
I also noticed the mixed "climate" in the media across Germany. To
my utter horror, the print media did correctly report about human rights abuses,
but then reprinted verbatim the vocabulary used in the lying Chinese propaganda
machine, and thereby unwittingly damaging [the reputation of] Falun Gong and
condoning the actions of the Chinese government. This necessitated for me to
break through another inner barrier. I had to correctly inform the media. I
realized that the source of the information is to be found in China. I made a
snap decision to join a group traveling to China, to let our correspondents know
what is really going on, an undertaking that for a Chinese person by now would
carry the risk of being killed. That led to my trip with a Sinology student. We
managed to contact several important correspondents but had mixed results during
our interviews. One interview actually brought us a damaging article. After our
return to Germany we expended much energy to win over this correspondent's
heart. We traveled a difficult path that finally led to two editors-in-chief,
something that was a great challenge for us and made us feel the pressure of our
responsibility. There is no room for missteps in Fa-rectification, because our
attitude can affect the outcome. As it turns out, by now we feel free to ask
this particular correspondent for information that is otherwise hard to come by.
To supplement and support the reporting by the German media, we created a
team for the German Falun Gong Information Center. We are a small group that
works closely with the Falun Gong Information Center in New York, but over time
have become more autonomous. Each new press release requires demands to be
handled differently. Each fact has to be exact; and we have to be precise in the
type of result we want to achieve. Usually, prior to a session, we would clarify
among us the whole process in light of Fa-rectification, because our positions
toward an issue can have different results at different levels. And over and
over again I see this question in my mind, "What can we do better to end
this persecution as soon as possible and bring about relief to those unfortunate
people suffering the persecution, so they won't have to endure another day of
abuse, and also that the perpetrators do not heap additional guilt on top of the
existing pile?"
Last fall I booked a group tour to China. Naturally, at first vaguely,
though, my plans included a visit to Tiananmen Square and a public declaration
of the persecution and crimes against Falun Gong. I could not imagine that my
simple plan soon mushroomed to become a group of 36 Westerners who had embraced
a plan of their own, to counter Jiang Zemin's plans and also show the Chinese
citizenry that Falun Gong is practiced abroad and in the West. Our undertaking
was meant to draw the attention of the world to the plight of the Chinese
practitioners and show them our solidarity. The designated day was to be
November 21, 2001.
At Tiananmen Square, our group was only left undisturbed for perhaps a scant
minute. That was enough time for a photograph that is still not missing its
effect today when I tell people about the situation in China, about the
persecution and the torture. I can tell them I was there; that one has to take a
decisive step forward, sometimes a huge step. When one encounters evil, one has
to stop it. All possible avenues to do so must be utilized.
Jiang came for a state visit in April of this year. Many of us drove to the
locations where he visited. We sent out intensive righteous thoughts; we had the
sheer will to confront him with our banners condemning the persecution. But in
spite of our best efforts, his agents managed to exert so much pressure on the
German authorities that we were almost completely banned from his field of
vision, to the point that his secret service agents actually manhandled us on
German soil. How could this be happening? Everyone has to search inside
him/herself for the reasons. In Master's Jingwen "Toward
Consummation," He says, "The only way to prevent the old, evil forces
from taking advantage of the gaps in your mind is to make good use of your time
to study the Fa." I neglected to do precisely that in the days prior to
Jiang's visit. I think we had recognized the arrangement of the evil too late
and did not immediately remedy the situation with the correct methods.
Copenhagen, 22nd September 2002
Posting date: 10/1/2002
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