From A Practitioner's Diary: Looking Within

[Clearwisdom.net]

Wednesday, Aug. 14, 2002,

Weather: Sunny

One night about two months ago I returned home from a group exercise practice around ten o'clock. My husband was browsing on the Internet, while my son was playing beside the desk. Because there were two emergency phone calls to be made, I asked my husband to log off. To my surprise, my husband got angry suddenly, and refused. My son noticed that the atmosphere was not right and he told my husband, "You should let Mom make the phone calls." My husband knew he was not right. Although he said he would, he sat there still, and told me to wait for two hours. I felt his behavior was inconsiderate, but I waited quietly, hoping that he would recognize the impropriety by himself, and let me use the phone line soon. However, he continued to navigate everywhere on the web. Knowing that he was purposely irritating me, I got angry too.

I took a cushion, walked out the door, and sat in the dark yard with grievances running through my mind. Before long, my husband and son opened the door. They seemed to be relieved after seeing me sitting on the grass. They turned back and closed the door. Raising my head, I saw a sky full of shining stars, and my heart gradually calmed down. I knew I was wrong. I recalled that when people treat me unfairly, I still have to be nice to them. What I think and what I do at that moment should be still benign to others--no arguments, no complaints. I should just remain considerate and moderate towards them. Only when I learn not to blame others for their faults can my magnanimity, compassion and sincerity be manifested. Otherwise, are we still practitioners when pointing fingers at others? Where is our compassion after all? Master said: "A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy."á

Realizing all of this, I got up and went back to the house. My son asked, "Why did you go to the yard?" With a smile, I replied, "Just to see the shining stars." My son laughed, and so did my husband. When I entered the bedroom, my husband had gone off-line, and I could make the phone calls.

This was not the end of the story. What happened afterwards to my surprise was the significant change of my husband. After a full day at work, he used to log on the Internet for a long time every evening. In the past, whenever I needed to use the phone, and asked him to log off, he was always reluctant and unhappy. He continued to give me tribulations on this matter. He always found something that I did to complain about. After this event, however, a fellow practitioner called around eight o'clock one evening when my husband was just about to log onto the Internet. Knowing that I had received a phone call, he asked my son to play soccer with him in the yard. About half an hour later when I was still in the phone conversation, he asked from the yard, "Are you finished?" I said, "I will be done soon." It seemed that he only caught the word "done" -- he said in a friendly tone, "Why don't you let me know when you are done?" Once, he came in and saw I was still using the phone and did not say anything, but turned back to continue playing soccer. The phone conversation was not completed until 15 minutes later. It was so great that he stayed very patient. As soon as I finished the phone conversation, I called him, "I am done now, the line is yours!" He then came in to use the Internet.

I noticed furthermore that he never got angry when I needed to use the phone since that event. He appeared to be much more reasonable. Master said, "The Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities." Being a Dafa practitioner, I have understood the profound principles of searching inward for my faults whenever tribulations arise. No discontent, no finger pointing--just ask the best out of myself. No matter how hard it can be, we try to carry out that understanding in our daily lives. After doing this, I noticed the people and the surrounding environment become much warmer and more harmonious. What a great Fa!
Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2002/10/9/37737.html

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