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From A Practitioner's Diary: Looking Within
[Clearwisdom.net]
Wednesday, Aug. 14, 2002,
Weather: Sunny
One night about two months ago I returned home from a group exercise practice
around ten o'clock. My husband was browsing on the Internet, while my son was
playing beside the desk. Because there were two emergency phone calls to be
made, I asked my husband to log off. To my surprise, my husband got angry
suddenly, and refused. My son noticed that the atmosphere was not right and he
told my husband, "You should let Mom make the phone calls." My husband knew he
was not right. Although he said he would, he sat there still, and told me to
wait for two hours. I felt his behavior was inconsiderate, but I waited quietly,
hoping that he would recognize the impropriety by himself, and let me use the
phone line soon. However, he continued to navigate everywhere on the web.
Knowing that he was purposely irritating me, I got angry too.
I took a cushion, walked out the door, and sat in the dark yard with
grievances running through my mind. Before long, my husband and son opened the
door. They seemed to be relieved after seeing me sitting on the grass. They
turned back and closed the door. Raising my head, I saw a sky full of shining
stars, and my heart gradually calmed down. I knew I was wrong. I recalled that
when people treat me unfairly, I still have to be nice to them. What I think and
what I do at that moment should be still benign to others--no arguments, no
complaints. I should just remain considerate and moderate towards them. Only
when I learn not to blame others for their faults can my magnanimity, compassion
and sincerity be manifested. Otherwise, are we still practitioners when pointing
fingers at others? Where is our compassion after all? Master said: "A benevolent
person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he
takes hardship as joy."
Realizing all of this, I got up and went back to the house. My son asked,
"Why did you go to the yard?" With a smile, I replied, "Just to see the shining
stars." My son laughed, and so did my husband. When I entered the bedroom, my
husband had gone off-line, and I could make the phone calls.
This was not the end of the story. What happened afterwards to my surprise
was the significant change of my husband. After a full day at work, he used to
log on the Internet for a long time every evening. In the past, whenever I needed
to use the phone, and asked him to log off, he was always reluctant and unhappy.
He continued to give me tribulations on this matter. He always found something
that I did to complain about. After this event, however, a fellow practitioner
called around eight o'clock one evening when my husband was just about to log
onto the Internet. Knowing that I had received a phone call, he asked my son to
play soccer with him in the yard. About half an hour later when I was still in
the phone conversation, he asked from the yard, "Are you finished?" I said, "I
will be done soon." It seemed that he only caught the word "done" -- he said in
a friendly tone, "Why don't you let me know when you are done?" Once, he came in
and saw I was still using the phone and did not say anything, but turned back to
continue playing soccer. The phone conversation was not completed until 15
minutes later. It was so great that he stayed very patient. As soon as I
finished the phone conversation, I called him, "I am done now, the line is
yours!" He then came in to use the Internet.
I noticed furthermore that he never got angry when I needed to use the phone
since that event. He appeared to be much more reasonable. Master said, "The
Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities." Being a
Dafa practitioner, I have understood the profound principles of searching inward
for my faults whenever tribulations arise. No discontent, no finger
pointing--just ask the best out of myself. No matter how hard it can be, we try
to carry out that understanding in our daily lives. After doing this, I noticed
the people and the surrounding environment become much warmer and more
harmonious. What a great Fa!
Posting date: 10/19/2002 |