Getting Up After Falling Down

(Clearwisdom.net)

When the vicious, massive persecution of Dafa began, I gave into the evil's arrangements because of my attachments to fear. I wrote the so-called "Guarantee Letter," filled in the so-called "Transformation" and "Release" forms (statements promising to give up practicing Falun Dafa), and turned in my Dafa books to the police under pressure. Later, I felt tremendous guilt towards Teacher and Dafa for doing so, and when I came to realize the seriousness of what I had done, I re-joined the Fa-rectification by declaring to the vicious police that all of the statements I had made under pressure are null and void. Upon doing so, I was abducted and sent to a forced brainwashing class. Without letting go of my strong attachments to fear however, I once again wrote the so-called "Study Experiences," "Criticizing Letter" etc., and read them out loud to the class. The writings were filled with lies slandering Teacher and Dafa, and even though I knew it was a huge wrongdoing to read them out loud, I was too afraid to stand up against the pressure. After being released from the brainwashing class, my heart was in enormous pain and despair. I regretted my actions terribly and thought I was not qualified to be a Dafa disciple. I felt ashamed whenever I picked up the Dafa books to read, and felt un-qualified to be around other Dafa practitioners when seeing them. Under the influence of such sadness and hopelessness, I strayed further and further from the path of Fa-rectification.

Now, after gradually finding myself by looking within and strengthening righteous thoughts, I have decided to start anew and steadfastly strive forward on my path of Fa-rectification. Here, I solemnly declare that all of my words and actions that went against Dafa, under any circumstances and at any time, are completely null and void. From now on, I will be determined to keep up with the pace of Fa-rectification, and strive to once again become a qualified Dafa disciple. I will put even more effort into Fa-rectification to make up for the losses I brought to Dafa.

Wang Zherong

September 22, 2002

( Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2002/9/24/37020.html )

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In 2001, the local police illegally arrested me when I was distributing Falun Dafa truth clarification information. Due to insufficient Fa-study and the lack of righteous thoughts, I did things that a Dafa practitioner should not do when faced with the vicious persecution. When they asked me where I got the truth clarification materials, I was afraid to be beaten and said, "They are from a person that I do not know." They did not believe me and continued the interrogation. Because of fear, I then did something that a Dafa disciple should never do: I gave them the facial description of a Dafa disciple from another area (without mentioning their name) in order to protect myself. I also signed a form consenting to be put into a forced labor camp.

More than one year has passed since then, and in my heart I have not stopped regarding myself as a practitioner and have been keeping up with Fa-study. Because of the wrong things I have done however, and without the courage to seriously look inward to face my attachments of fear, I have been unable to be diligent in cultivation and Fa-rectification.

Now, I am no longer afraid. I solemnly declare that all the deeds I committed giving in to the evil and bringing harm to my fellow practitioners were done against my will and are hereby null and void.

Gao Yafeng

September 8, 2002

( Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2002/9/26/37108.html )

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