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Becoming Mature Amidst Tribulations By a Falun Dafa practitioner in Mainland China (Clearwisdom.net) Recently, Minghui Net (Clearwisdom.net) has suggested that more and more Dafa disciples should
share their cultivation experiences. During the Fa-rectification cultivation of the past few years,
I once took a deviated path and stumbled. I gradually became mature during these tribulations. I
know very well that Master has borne much for me, and has given me opportunity after opportunity to
be righteously enlightened. I feel that I have the responsibility to write down my inner thoughts,
and do my part to disclose the evil. I obtained Dafa in March 1998. Before obtaining the Fa, I suffered from many illnesses such as
gastritis, a gynecological disease, constipation, and a gall bladder infection. I took a lot of
Chinese medicine, western medicine, and folk remedies, but none of them worked. When I became very
sick, I could not go to work. It was in this situation that I obtained the Fa. At that time, I only
wanted to cure my diseases. I did not understand what cultivation was. Gradually, as I studied the
Fa and did the exercises, I changed my original understanding. I began the process of cultivation. Not long after I began to practice the exercises, Teacher eliminated karma for me. After that my
whole body became very light. I remember that once, when I was holding the wheel, I suddenly felt
that my body became very light, as if I was going to levitate off the ground. I really experienced
this. Gradually, I realized the importance of studying the Fa. So after work, when I had done my
chores, I used most of my spare time to study the Fa and memorize Master's articles. I felt that my
life was very full and meaningful, and I became very energetic. Because I became healthier and
happier, everyday I worked with a harmonious heart. I enthusiastically cultivated like this with my
whole heart until the tribulations started. After April 25, 1999, the heads of my work unit repeatedly tried to persuade me to give up
practicing Falun Gong. They forced me to hand in my books and denounce Falun Gong. Because I was not
fully prepared psychologically, I signed my name out of fear and handed in my books against my will.
The pain I felt could not be expressed in human language. I understood that no matter what the
circumstances were, I would not give up cultivation practice. So I began to study the Fa more
diligently, upgrading my xinxing (mind/heart nature, moral character) and understanding the
Fa according to the Fa. In March 2000, I was illegally detained for 15 days because I went to Beijing to appeal. After
that, the officials from the bureau and my work unit always talked to me and forced me to write
thought reports (the assumption is that a practitioners' thoughts will be of giving up Falun Gong)
and tried to force me to give up the practice. Facing various forms of pressure, especially that
from my family, I again wrote a guarantee letter saying that I would not practice, nor would I go to
appeal. Once again I felt anguish. At that time, when I read Zhuan Falun, each and every
sentence touched my heart. I thought that I could not cultivate any more. Then my fellow
practitioners encouraged me to study the Fa more and asked me not to make a mistake because of my
negative thoughts. They suggested that I dig out my attachments and seize the opportunity to make up
for it in the future. Just at that moment, the heads from my work unit called me, saying that what I
wrote did not satisfy them and I had to write it again. By then I knew that Master had not given up
on me. I wrote down my cultivation experiences with great courage and gave it to the officials in my
bureau. I wrote about the changes in my mind and body. I also stated that I would persist in
cultivation until the end. After that I was informed that I would not be allowed to go to work for
as long as a year. My salary was cut. I did not realize that they were persecuting me. I though that
it was my own karma, so I always endured it passively. I had to go to work in a private company to make a living. I conducted myself like a cultivator,
acting according to the Fa, and treated everyone with a sincere and compassionate heart. I tried to
do my work well. After a month of observation, the factory director changed his attitude towards me.
He went from distrusting me at the beginning, to respecting me and then to understanding me. He no
longer believed the TV's propaganda. Once, after watching a TV program, the factory director said,
"What's being spread on the TV is not in conformity with what you have done. I will say some
just words for you if anybody says practitioners are not responsible and that they don't care for
their families or their children." Even the workers in the factory had a correct understanding
of Dafa. The work was hard and the salary was low, but I was able to validate Dafa with my own good
conduct. Nothing else could be more important. On February 23, 2001, while I was working at the factory, five people came, and forcibly took me
to a "class on our nation's legal system" (actually, it was a brainwashing class). Several
local, fellow practitioners were also arrested. What we heard in the brainwashing class was nothing
but lies, threats, and harassment. I was very calm at the time. The evil words and groundless lies
could not shake me at all, but instead made my belief firmer. Because we refused to cooperate with
the evil, we were labeled as key members. It made the local officials who were in charge of Falun
Gong very irritated. When the brainwashing class was completed, the policemen deceived us, and sent
us to the detention center. It was the second time that I was illegally detained. In the detention
center, I started to waver. I feared that I could not endure it if I was sent to a labor camp. As a
result, I was taken advantage of by the evil. Facing pressure and under so many people's attacks, I
couldn't think about it from the perspective of the Fa. Once again I did what a Dafa practitioner
should not. I signed my name on the "guarantee letter" against my will. The next day after I was released this time, my work unit allowed me to go back to work. However,
I was very depressed. The anguish in my heart increased day by day. During that time, I read the
article "Coercion Cannot Change People's Hearts." I realized that cultivation is serious.
I could not make mistakes repeatedly and ask our Teacher to bear it for me over and over again. So I
published a solemn declaration on Minghui net: "All of what I had said before that was not in
conformity with Dafa is invalid. I'll practice Falun Dafa firmly, and become a genuine Dafa
particle." I was determined to wash clean the stains with my actual actions. I felt that I
would not tarnish Dafa, and miss the compassionate salvation of Teacher. From then on, I have firmly
resisted the evil. In April 2002, the evil persecution became extremely rampant. While I was at work on the morning
of April 23, three policemen deceived me into going to the police station. They asked me to sign my
name on a "recognition letter." I firmly refused to sign. The police said, "You
cannot expect to go back if you don't sign your name." Then they pulled me downstairs and
pushed me into a police car. The drove to my home and, like criminals, they violently ransacked my
home. Because of my strong righteous thoughts, they could not find what they wanted. Then they took
me to the police station again. In the afternoon, I was sent to the detention center. In the
detention center, I recited the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts ceaselessly with other fellow
practitioners detained in the same ward with me. We felt that we should walk out of the detention
center openly and righteously. The evil forces were not worthy of testing us in any way. I asked
Teacher for help. I said to Teacher silently in my heart, "I must do it well this time and
behave like a Dafa disciple." On the afternoon of April 26, the guard unexpectedly asked me to
take my belongings and leave. Thus, I walked out of the detention center in an open and righteous
way. Later on, several other fellow practitioners also walked out of the detention center with
righteous thoughts. A few days later, I found out that my colleagues, my husband, and my friends had put all their
effort into rescuing me. My colleagues went to talk to one of the directors of the police department
about my situation. That director immediately ordered the lower-level directors to release me, and
said, "We'll make it an exception since she is needed at her job." This time my husband
did very well in getting me released. He argued with the police, asking them to release me, and
always took my side. Before, my husband once wrote thought reports to cater to the evil in my name
and without my approval. I once had a happy family and a stable job. During the past three years, due to the evil
persecution, my family has almost completely fallen apart. Because I was put into jail several
times, my husband could not bear it any more, and thus asked me to divorce him. He did many things
ignorantly that disrespected Dafa. All this was caused by the evil forces. Although he cannot
understand me now, I believe that he will definitely understand me some day, and will join the side
of Truth. Currently, I have been forced to leave home and live in exile in order to avoid persecution, but
no matter what the circumstances are I will never slack off. I'll follow Teacher closely in Fa-rectification,
and do everything well for the Fa-rectification until the Fa rectifies the human world. Above are my personal cultivation experiences. Fellow practitioners, please kindly point out
anything that is improper. Posting date: 12/13/2002 |