Breaking Through Difficult Obstacles After a Thirty Four Day Hunger Strike
(Clearwisdom.net) Cultivation is a serious matter, and everyone's
personal cultivation history is recorded. During the same time span, some might
achieve great things due to diligent practice, and some might achieve nothing
due to laziness. One day in April 2002, one of my relatives who worked in the Public Security
sector inadvertently talked about hunting a certain practitioner. I tried to set
him straight immediately. However, the police officers who were lying in wait
arrested me. Because I graduated from a famous university, many policemen came
over and talked to me about Dafa-related issues. During the conversation I
discovered that many people didn't have much aversion to Dafa at all. Some just
could not understand the firm determination of Dafa practitioners and others
found certain articles in the Dafa truth-clarifying materials hard to accept. The next day I was illegally detained at a detention center. Police officers
interrogated me on the second day. I remembered that Master once said that we
should not be afraid of the evil in the face of persecution. So I talked with
them in a very relaxed manner. Every now and then I joked with them, and
everyone there laughed. One of the police interrogators later told me privately
that he admired the composure and calmness of Dafa practitioners. It might have had something to do with my manner of speaking - after that day
the police didn't interrogate me anymore. Later, I heard that there were Dafa
practitioners on a hunger strike in the detention center. I thought, why not
support them? So since then I started a hunger strike as well. The day that I started the hunger strike I exchanged ideas with a
practitioner who was later released because he was found to have kidney disease.
During several days of force-feeding we encouraged each other and further
strengthened our righteous thoughts. Two days after I started the hunger strike, the police began to force-feed
me. In order to detain Dafa practitioners long term, they persecuted Dafa
practitioners when force-feeding them, in an attempt to make Dafa practitioners
give up the hunger strike in fear of torture. The force-feeding, even when done
in a moderate manner, is very uncomfortable. If the tube were inserted into the
trachea, it would cause severe coughing. If it were used as a deliberate means
of torture, the feeling would be even more unbearable. It required a strong will
to keep it up for a long period of time. During the early days of force-feeding I kept a daily thought in my mind:
"I am a Dafa practitioner. The more difficult it is, the stronger I should
be." This thought helped me strengthen my will. When it was too difficult,
I would call Master in my heart; then the pain from the force-feeding would be
reduced to nothing. On the first day in the detention center, many inmates in
the same cell admired my knowledge and asked me a lot of questions. I told them
many stories from throughout history, of respecting virtue and cultivating the
mind, to enlighten their kindness and their righteous thoughts toward Dafa. Some
criminals, including those who had received death penalty, told me that they
would like to practice Dafa. Because force-feeding is extremely painful, it is very hard to endure it once
you have a fear of pain. While force-feeding, the police always try to use your
human mentalities to seduce you. For example, they may speak softly to you,
"How painful it is to have the tube inserted into your stomach! How about
we inject the stuff into your mouth. It is less miserable!" Two
practitioners swallowed the bait like this. When force-feeding me, the police
were talking to each other about this, mostly ridiculing those two
practitioners. I felt very upset upon hearing this. One day it happened that all
three of us were together during force-feeding. In order to remind the other two
practitioners, I intentionally raised my voice, "All we do will be our own
legacy." A practitioner would understand what those words meant. Unfortunately, a few days later, a practitioner started to eat. After another
two days, not being able to get enough food, he asked his family members to
order extra food and pay for it from their own pocket. After hearing this, I
cried. Police officers continuously injected milk into another practitioner's
mouth. Thus, during this month, I heard police officers laughing at him behind
his back. In fact, any time did not conduct ourselves according to high
standards, we became the butt of their jokes. During the period when I was holding hunger strike, I would think of
delicious food, even in my dreams. I repeatedly recited Dafa articles and
scriptures I had memorized before. Sometimes, I would keep reciting several
dozen times, "Eat but taste not - Mouth free from attachment." ["In
the Dao" from Hong Yin, unofficial translation] After that,
there were no longer any food attachment interferences. Sometimes I felt it was
so joyful. This state of mind is difficult to describe in words. Thus I always
recited Dafa articles and books. My willingness to further improve myself became
stronger. I remembered Teacher once said that in the past, once a person left
home and became a monk, he would immediately became a semi-deity. I understood
why monks could become a semi-deity, since they indeed no longer had the mindset
of a human being. This kind of comprehension gave me a sense I had never had
before. In a dream after about half a month later I read an article called
"Preface on a Vine." When I woke up I thought no matter how
precipitous a cliff is, they look like a smooth, broad site for the vine. For a
vine there is no concept of steep and hard. They freely move around in any area.
Thus I learned by following Dafa; there is nothing that cannot be done. During that period, trying the obtain enlightenment within the Fa was very
important. For example, during the hunger strike I constantly kept myself alert.
I did not pay any attention to the pain during force-feedings. One day I even
thought how fast it would be to eliminate karma this way. Later I questioned if
this would be equivalent to accepting the evil's persecution? When I changed my
thought, my situation changed after that. During the whole cultivation process, cultivating diligently is so important.
It is important in adversity; it is even more important in a peaceful
environment. If we do not cultivate diligently, the outcome would be the same.
It is like sailing against the current - if we do not move forward, we will move
backward. Sometimes the vicious people used all kinds of methods to test me. I thought
that I should not cooperate with them, so I did not respond to them. They spoke
to themselves, "Your arms are so thin that we could not get your blood
pressure." They kicked at me, while I was lying weakly on the ground, with
a foot and said, "We shall let you go; just get up and sign your
name." I did not answer them. After that when they saw me not giving any
response, they talked to each other, "X (another practitioner's name) was
fooled in this way. We let him get up and sign his name, and he got up right
away." Thus I felt the actions during the hunger strike must be consistent
from the beginning to the end; otherwise, the evil could take advantage of them. I am very thin by nature. During the hunger strike I became even thinner. One
day I took a look at my hands and found the skin was barely covering the bones.
I felt very uncomfortable. I knew this was another test. During the whole period
of the hunger strike, similar situations always came. I often felt my body and
mind suffering from all kinds of interference. However I was always able to
demand of myself to keep firm, righteous thoughts. Thus the tests could never
affect me. After more than 30 days the daily force-feeding became easier for me than
eating. Thinking that there was still a lot of truth-clarifying work outside
that I needed to do, I became very anxious. I thought that since this test no
longer had any effect on me it should end. A few days later, the application for sending me to a labor camp was
rejected. I was soon transferred to administration detention, the lightest
punishment. Soon after, the police authorities and my work unit sent someone to
take me out. First I was transferred to the detention center; then after some
paperwork I was released straight away. This was unheard of in my local area.
Dafa's dignity is incomparable. What I sensed most from this experience is that without a firm foundation
of Fa-study and a solid cultivation process, when facing difficulties, it is
very easy to go astray in tribulation. During this time, on many occasions when
I wanted to strengthen my righteous thoughts, many words from Dafa would appear
in my mind. If I had not studied the Fa well, I could not have
been able to do so. Master said, "The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa
can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen
righteous thoughts." This time I was illegally detained for 35 days. Last time it was one and an
half months. During both detention periods I saw [in my mind's eye] the records
of my cultivation: The first time it was about half a page, but this time it was
a book. In Explaining the Fa for Falun Dafa Assistants in Changchun, Master
said, "There's no time limit, and whether or not you cultivate is your own
issue. How high you cultivate to, how great your ability to forbear is, and how
great your ability to endure is, these are also your own issues. If Teacher were
to set a time limit for you to cultivate out of here, would your mind be able to
reach there? Would your xinxing be able to rise up there? Would your
understanding of the Fa reach that high? Would you be able let go of the
attachments you have among ordinary people? Would you be able to let go when it
comes to your own self-interest and things you fight over with others? All of
these are issues of a person's own cultivation. No one sets rules for you, and
there's no time limit. Some people might be able to cultivate to Arhat Status
really quickly, while some people might need a lifetime to do so. It depends on
your ability to endure and whether you're strict with yourself--it's all up to
you." At home, if I missed one meal in a day I would feel very hungry. However, I
didn't feel as bad during the hunger strike that lasted for over a month. I feel
that Master only looks at disciples' hearts, and Master endured many of our real
tribulations. How many people can truly understand this? On the way back home I remembered what Master said, "...in the process of your cultivation, and in the process of your
safeguarding the Fa, there have been all kinds of tribulations and you've
encountered all kinds of difficulties. Relying on your own thinking and
decisions, you've made it through. Master hasn't done all this in vain.
Whatever Master has done for you was worth it!" ("Teaching the
Fa at the Great Lakes Fa Conference in North America") Thinking about this, I burst into tears.
Chinese version available at
http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2002/6/9/31473.html
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