On My Way Home
By a Dafa practitioner from Taiwan
(Clearwisdom.net) Ever since I was young, I have been very sentimental,
particular in relationships. That's why I have had a lot of tribulations in this
regard in my cultivation. A very big part of my reason to study the Fa was also
due to emotions. My boyfriend at that time said to me shortly after he started
practicing that this was what he had been looking for all his life, and he would
start cultivating, all the way until the end. He also said: "Now I've chosen
cultivation." This will for sure cause huge differences in our life goals.
You're still young. You can still go for other options. Do what you think is
right! What he implied was I should either cultivate with him or find another
good man to marry. By that time, I did not know that he said those words because
he did not have a deeper understanding of the Fa. I was so upset hearing those
words. But at the same time, I started to think about one thing--although I
didn't know about being resolute--when I saw him so persistent in this Fa, I was
very surprised! What was it that could make a person change so much within such
a short period of time? On the other hand, I couldn't let go of this
relationship. I thought since he was so strong about it, it would have no effect
if I objected. So instead, I tried to understand what it was. To my surprise,
this change of notion not only resulted in a marriage but also helped me start
my journey of cultivation. I read Zhuan Falun a few dozen times in the first year. But every time
I read it, I felt I had never read it before, since I could see many new things
that I never saw before. At that time, I didn't know what was happening to me.
How come everyone else had experience and insights to share and only I couldn't
even say a word? In our sharing, the assistant asked me to try to tell everyone
what I had experienced, and I couldn't say anything. I could only tell others
what my name was and other self introductory items. I was thinking this must
have been a result of my poor enlightenment quality and low intelligence. So, I
decided to spend more time studying the Fa than others to catch up with them.
This period of Fa studying laid a solid foundation for my later work in
clarifying the truth. As my Fa study continued and as I kept reading stories on Clearwisdom net of
practitioners being inhumanely tortured in Mainland, I felt heavier and heavier
in my heart. I didn't know how to end all this. Particularly when I first read
about Zhou Zhicang -- a practitioner in Heilongjiang Province -- being tortured
to death, I was deeply shocked. When I read about the tortures he had gone
through, my entire body couldn't help shivering. My tears gushed out. I was very
upset--why would anyone want to kill these cultivators? Good people like them
should not have been treated that way! I knew there was nothing wrong with the
Zhen-Shan-Ren (Truthfulness, Benevolence, Forbearance) I was cultivating. At
that time, the concept about assisting Master in Fa-rectification was not very
clear to me. I only felt such a good Fa should not have been mistreated. So I
started introducing Dafa to people around me, and telling them the truth as I
knew it. After that, I traveled around the world, clarifying the truth to misinformed
people. Wherever there was a need to clarify the truth, I would be there. After
a while, I felt that those things could not really help practitioners in China
because they were still being severely tortured. These practitioners are like my
family members. Although I've never met them, we cultivate the same Fa! This is
the strongest predestined relationship! It pained my heart seeing that they were
still enduring all this. I wanted to put an end to it but didn't know how. One
day, I studied the Fa and read Master's scripture "The Effect of Righteous
Thoughts." Teacher said: "In order to lessen the persecution of Dafa and Dafa
disciples, I have asked disciples to send forth righteous thoughts to clear away
the damage these beings have deliberately done to the Fa-rectification, thereby
lessening what Dafa disciples should not endure during the persecution and, at
the same time, saving all beings and consummating Dafa disciples' paradises." I
suddenly understood something! Master already told me what to do. It was just I
didn't realize it! I started to do my best to send forth righteous thoughts at
every hour. This is a helpful means given to Dafa disciples during this special
historic period. I believe I have such an ability because I am a Dafa disciple!
After work, I persist in studying the Fa, practicing the exercises, sending
forth righteous thoughts and doing some Dafa work. As the Fa-rectification progresses further, there is more and more Dafa work,
and there are more and more channels to clarify the truth. One day, I stood
behind my husband watching him writing responses using BBS. I was very envious
because he could directly clarify the truth to the Chinese people. I never
imagined using this approach because at that time I didn't even know where to
push to turn the computer on. At this moment, he suddenly turned around and said
to me: you can do this, too. I then said to myself: let's give it a try then!
Thus I started to clarify the truth on the Internet. The first step was always difficult. Many fears surfaced: my typing is too
slow, my understanding of Fa is too shallow to clarify the truth well, and etc.
Actually my own notions were hindering myself. Mainland Dafa practitioners are
still trying their best to save more sentient beings under tremendous pressure.
I would have no excuse not to do well living in such a relaxed environment. Once
I broke through my notions, clarifying the truth became much easier. When I began by posting articles in forums, many people cursed. Sometimes I
didn't even know how to respond. When I read the responses from other
practitioners, I saw that they were able to maintain their compassion and
kindness facing slanderous remarks. They reasoned with them calmly and
rationally. Every sentence was so convincing and right on the spot. I couldn't
even help shouting "great!" This also allowed me to see where I lagged behind. I
knew that was caused by my not clearly understanding relevant Fa principles. At
the same time, I felt that Dafa practitioners from all over the world are one
indestructible entity: wherever there are gaps, some practitioners would go
there and fill it. As my typing speed improved, I started to chat on line. But the dirty
language in the chat room became a big test for me, a person who never had
experience of chatting online. Base and dirty language, along with lies, filled
the chat rooms. During that period of time, I had fears every time getting on
line. One day, I was reading lecture 9 of Zhuan Falun, in which Master
says: "The complex environment, in my view, is instead a good thing. The more
complex it is, the greater the persons it will produce. If one can elevate
oneself above and beyond it, one's cultivation will be the most solid." I
immediately understood. "That's right! Isn't this what I'm going through now?"
Since then, I've accepted every challenge with a smile because I know I'm not
alone on this road--Master is watching over me all the time! Having Master and
the Fa, I have nothing to fear! My own cultivation state also plays a decisive role. When I was able to
clarify the truth with a pure state of mind, others unconditionally accepted
whatever I had said. But when my cultivation state was not good, it didn't
matter how beautifully I said things or how much my words made sense, they would
just not understand. Some even cursed at me. My keyboard even turned against me.
When I wanted to type Chinese characters, it would display English words.
Sometimes it displayed nothing. When these things happened, I could only ask
myself to continue to improve within the Fa, and ask myself to elevate out of
this incorrect state as soon as possible. I absolutely can't allow my poor
cultivation state to hinder sentient beings' chances of being saved. One day, I met a college student in the chat room. His mother is a
practitioner but he is not. We didn't talk much, just left each other some
contact information. At Christmas, I sent him a card. He returned with a letter,
saying: "Like you, I've also been thinking about what kind of predestined
relationship that we had so we could run into each other like that. I thought I
was the most proud person because I have a mother who resolutely practices Dafa
and doesn't bow to evil. But after all, it is my mother who is being persecuted.
As her son, I have the feeling of being the most helpless in my whole life. I
can't help her at all. When I saw the other day you were trying hard to clarify
the truth to people in the chat room, I felt grateful. I was even more grateful
for the predestined relationship we had that allowed us to meet... Your tone was
familiar to me as if I was having a dream. I know I should thank Master and Dafa...
I hope when the Christmas bells ring, many people will wake up to the truth and
return to kindness. I hope to really meet you when the Fa rectifies the human
world..." When I received this letter, only one thought went across my mind:
Dafa disciples in Mainland China are remarkable! They are indeed Master's good
disciples! I'm so proud of them! There was another time, I met someone in QQ. As soon as I mentioned Falun
Gong, he gave me a dressing-down without any warning. And he started cursing
Master. When I heard him cursing Master, I felt I couldn't take it anymore. At
that moment, I almost lost control of my xinxing. But I knew if I didn't do
well, the life of this being would be jeopardized. A few exchanges after that
still disappointed me. No matter from what perspective I spoke, he flatly
rejected it. At one point, I thought about giving up on him. I was thinking: is
it worth it to spend so much time on one person? One time, when chatting in the
voice chat room, I asked him: do you know Guan Guimin? He said: yes. I wanted to
play one of his songs for you. This song is called "Coming for you". I was very
calm then, and at the same time, I kept sending forth righteous thoughts. After
the song was finished, we were both silent for a long time. Finally he said,
"Actually I don't oppose Falun Gong. I just didn't want to be like others,
opposing it for the sake of opposing." I knew this being was starting to change.
All that time was worth it. As the truth spreads rapidly, more and more people have learned the truth. Someone said: "I admire your persistence. Hope you will succeed soon." Some said: "I have a bad temper. But I feel very serene every time I speak to
you. I think it must be Falun Gong." Some said: "If one day they go after you and want to kill you, please feel
free to come to me. I will protect you. I have never liked these people all
along." Some told me when I said "a person's thought can decide a person's future,"
they knew right away I practice Falun Gong. It looks the truth is really rooted
in people's minds. When I see those lives that were once deceived waking up one after another, I
feel so happy for them! At the same time, I realize that I must do better on the
road of clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings. That's because Master
said: "If we don't pay attention to our own behavior in our daily lives,
everyday people will see our actions and, since they can't get to know you at a
deep level such as by studying the Fa, they will just look at how you act. And
it's possible that one sentence or one action of yours will make them unsavable
or create a bad impression of Dafa." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference
in Boston") I feel the past year of clarifying the truth online has been a process in
which I keep breaking through my own notions. In other words, it has been a
process of rectifying myself. I clearly see all the steps I took. I managed to
persist no matter how poorly or how well I had done. There are still many people
out there who don't know the truth, many lives waiting to be saved. Our task is
still very big. I hope to do better in the future. Finally, I'd like to end my experience sharing with Master's Hurry Up And Tell Them As Dafa disciples tell people the
facts, It's like sharp swords shooting out
together from their mouths, Shredding apart the rotten demons'
lies. Lose no time and save them, hurry up
and tell them.
Chinese version available at
http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2003/3/9/46107.html
Yearly Archive
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