Life Immersed in the Light of Compassion

By Xiao Mei

(Clearwisdom.net)

I met Jason shortly after I started working in this laboratory. This disorderly laboratory is under the management of a couple, and I am their only fulltime employee. Jason came here to do some research before he could arrange a position as a medical doctor somewhere else.

My boss is a quiet person. No matter how well I do my job, his only reply is "OK". And if he is slightly dissatisfied with my work, it is not okay anymore. This is indeed a good environment for me to improve my xinxing, but it is easier said than done. I could handle the responsibilities that came with the job with ease. So, on top of my own work, I also tried my best to put the laboratory in good order. My boss, however, did not seem to appreciate the thought and effort I put in. Instead, he focused on nitpicking. His wife was the same. Strangely, Jason also started doing the same. When faced with unexpected criticisms from them, I tried my best to stay calm so that my heart could tolerate more. I worked harder so that others could see it.

One time, when I was in the middle of a set of experiments, Jason suddenly told me to put an organic solvent into a solvent cabinet immediately. His attitude was very rude. I was focused on placing test indicators into the test tubes, and I could not stop in the middle. So I said, "In a minute." He became furious with the fact that I did not move immediately, and started to shout. His rudeness was getting to me, but I kept myself from getting angry and replied firmly, "Please do not disturb me." He seemed to be insulted by this, and could not blow off his steam. A minute later, he came over, put his face close to mine and said something very awful. His face looked just like a close-up shot from a movie. I did not get angry, but I could not hold the test tube steady anymore. I stopped and looked him directly in the eyes and said, "Goodbye, see you tomorrow!" Jason left, exasperated.

Why did Jason treat me like this? Why did my boss treat me like this? Was it because I did not do my job well? Absolutely not! Other than my own experiments, I proactively picked up chores in the lab, and I did almost everything to the best of my ability. But the results were the opposite of what I hoped for. Whenever there was a shortage of material in the lab, everyone blamed me. All those chores that were not my responsibilities gradually became mine. I asked myself, was it wrong to do my work with dedication? Why did I encounter so many unexpected troubles? What did I miss? Maybe I should be firmer and rectify the environment in the lab.

There was another conflict in the lab, with Jason again. He was still arrogant and aggressive. I changed my attitude and said to him, "Jason, you are an American. You should know how to respect others. Don't be so selfish." With my calm attitude and stern words, Jason's face turned red and he hung his head low. I thought I finally rectified this not-so-righteous environment. I thought I made him understand that even though I am a practitioner, I am not someone who can be taken advantage of easily.

Later, I talked to a good friend about this incident. But she said, "I think what you did will arouse his evil side. You did not treat these problems with compassion. It's hard to say, he may take revenge on you." As it turned out, my boss became very upset with me a few days later. I knew there was a reason. This time, I looked deep inside of myself: I worked hard to show my diligence and excellence, I wanted to get recognition from my boss and acceptance from my colleagues. For a practitioner, this is a big attachment of pursuit. A practitioner should use the standard of "Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance" to gauge oneself instead of just trying to please others. Also a practitioner does not do things so others will praise him or her. Instead, a practitioner improves his/her xinxing in the process of doing things and genuinely becomes a good person who thinks only of others. Once I realized my problem and let go of my pursuit, my behavior naturally changed. From then on, I did everything more naturally and smoothly. I also realized Jason had changed too. He no longer picked on me intentionally. Sometimes, he even helped out with lab chores. One time, he helped me mix some test solutions, and I was very thankful to him. He said, "No problem, you helped me on many things too!" I felt that my own state of mind and my behavior had improved the surrounding environment in a quiet and subtle way.

A year later, Jason was leaving for another place to become a doctor. I wanted to host a farewell party for him at home, but everyone was busy and it did not work out. So I decided to prepare a Chinese dinner box for him.

On his last day at work, I gave him the dinner box. I opened the box and said, "This is Chinese wonton. It is similar to the dumplings from last time, but it needs soup. When you get home, boil them with two cups of water and add the soup base from this little box. These are oysters that you like very much. I fixed them Chinese style and I am sure you will like it." I looked up and saw his eyes were red. He was obviously touched, "Mei, you are wonderful, you are so nice." The Jason in front me was a totally different person from a year ago. He looked like a child, with embarrassment on his face. He did not have the competitive, aggressive attitude anymore. I was happy for his change. He was also deeply concerned about me, "Mei, I don't know how you endure the treatment here. They (my boss and his wife) are very unreasonable people." I smiled, "It's okay. If someone is unreasonable to me, I think he probably has no choice. Everyone has a different personality, I try my best to forgive everyone."

That day, I walked Jason downstairs as he was leaving. He said to me, "The boss didn't even come to work." I knew he was saddened by it, but I also remembered to resolve everything with compassion at all times. I should help to keep grudges from forming between people. So I explained, "The boss is out of town today. Everyone has been very busy lately." We said goodbye one more time. Watching him walk away, I said in my heart: "Goodbye, Jason. Thank you for helping me understand the power of compassion!"

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