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Some Thoughts on the Issues of Affection, Love and Marriage
(Clearwisdom.net) Recently, fellow practitioners suggested discussing the
issues of affection, love, and marriage based on some problems that happened to
some practitioners in China. We have had different opinions on these issues. Some of us said, "How could
we have this mindset during this stage in the Fa rectification?" According to
this way of thinking, it looks as if those who want to marry are drifting off
the major course, as we are supposed to give up all of our personal issues and
put ourselves into the Fa rectification wholeheartedly. However, some others
think being married allows us to practice cultivation to the maximum extent with
ordinary human society as Teacher lectures in the Fa, so wanting to be married
helps one avoid going to extremes or into a dead end. In addition, sometimes
marriages may create some favorable conditions that are good for what we need to
do at present. Here I would like to share with you some of my personal ideas. From my
perspective, both opinions are right. For example, meat eating is not a problem
itself, the key point is to remove the attachment to meat. The purpose of this
discussion is that its focus should not be completely on the selection of a
correct opinion, but on understanding the deep meanings behind each--that is to
say, how to practice cultivation in a more harmonious way. As practitioners run
into conflicts, all of us need to check our mindset on the basis of the Fa,
regardless of what is in our mind, when we run into conflicts and especially
when our heart is disturbed. If we are attached to the discussion of different
opinions instead of looking inward ourselves, we will miss opportunities and
also develop attachments. It will be difficult for us to solve problems in our
heart in cultivation. For the first opinion above, many of those fellow practitioners can fully
realize the preciousness of the time that Teacher created for the Fa
rectification and fully realize the significance of life. Therefore, they can
let go of everything among everyday people, making full use of time to do the
three things that Teacher told us. It will be surely good if more practitioners
can do this from the heart, not as a formality, but from their nature. It won't
be a problem as long as you are not attached to it, but are grounded in the Fa
and on saving people. But how can we handle the problem when we have different
opinions? Can we, while setting strict demands for ourselves and always
cultivating our character, still remember to treat others well? Do we follow the
principles and at the same time tolerate others in a harmonious way? Or as Falun
Dafa practitioners, when we are strict with ourselves using the criteria of the
Fa, do we also try to set our own demands for others or try to cultivate others?
Shouldn't we, on the basis of being good to others, reason with the other party
in a tolerant, compassionate and understanding way, rather than be attached to
outcomes? Some practitioners feel pressured by those with this opinion, so they don't
have the courage to tell fellow practitioners after they are married. Without a
doubt, this is an attachment. If something is not right, we shouldn't do it. If
we need to do something, we should have a clear mind that it conforms to the
requirements of the Fa for practitioners at different levels, instead of blindly
following the example of others. Some fellow practitioners that have no way to
obtain an ID under the persecution cannot register for marriage, so they just
follow the common-law. This issue is complicated and beyond our discussion here.
Clearwisdom.net has already posted some relevant articles addressing this. During the peaceful period before 1999, practitioners also had different
opinions on the issue of marriage, but didn't go to extremes as we do at present
in the Fa rectification period. Why? It is true there are some external causes. In this long persecution, many
fellow practitioners who have lost their jobs and families work on the Fa
rectification together. When they help each other, for those who still have
everyday people's mentalities, including affection and desire, they need mutual
consolation and encouragement in a cruel and harsh environment. For example, if
two persons share an apartment it will cost less than if they each lived
separately. This also gives neighbors the impression that they are couples. It
should be beneficial that we practice cultivation and work on the Fa
rectification to the maximum extent with ordinary human society. However, we
need to do our best to set strict standards for ourselves, and not just use it
as a guise. The affection should be taken lightly and not affect the overall
situation. From the perspective of internal causes, is it that we can't be harmonious in
our minds and rise above affection and desires? If it is the time for these
attachments to be abandoned, is this why the problem pops up in one form or
another? Besides, is it possible that some practitioners haven't put the Fa in
the first place and are still showing off? In addition, some of the practitioners who have different opinions might have
a deep attachment, such as guessing when the Fa rectification will end. I have
seen many of these examples. Failing to clearly realize and completely remove
this deep attachment, they gave up all of their material belongings and living
environment and went to extremes. Then because they didn't understand the Fa in
a harmonious way, they went to the opposite side when the Fa rectification
didn't end as they assumed. They were desperately chasing what they lost, but
actually what they lost was because of their going to extremes. A part of the problem could be that some practitioners are trying to arrange
their own path of cultivation, not letting go of the attachments to profit and
desire, and only temporarily giving up some trifles at the moment for fulfilling
a cause. Meanwhile, they are bargaining with the Fa: "Since I gave up something
on my own, I am supposed to get this or that." These attachments are very
dangerous when the Fa rectification has reached this stage. We need to dig out
them out at the root through studying the Fa. The above are my personal opinions. My purpose in presenting this topic is to
demonstrate that when handling any issues, we practitioners can change our ideas
or purify our thoughts and character as a result of conflict. I am not trying to
point out any specific situation or individual. Please oblige me with your
opinions if my article has anything that is not appropriate on the basis of the
Fa principles. |