More Thoughts on How to Handle Issues Related to Love and Marriage

By Lu Nan

(Clearwisdom net) Many Dafa practitioners in Mainland China are currently homeless and forced to live outside due to the persecution, so they often validate the Fa and clarify the truth by themselves without other practitioners around to talk with. For them, reading experience sharing and other articles on Minghui is particularly important. There are some sentimentality issues bothering some disciples right now, and further discussion based on understanding of the Fa principles is needed.

Practitioners have raised many questions regarding sentimentality. For example, can Dafa disciples divorce when their relationship is broken? When a Dafa disciple's spouse who does not practice initiates a divorce because he/she cannot handle the pressure from Jiang's persecution, or because of conflicting personalities, different beliefs, and broken relationships, what should the disciple do? Can a Dafa disciple seek a divorce because of issues like conflicting personalities, different beliefs, and broken relationships? How does one treat a situation where both parties have agreed to divorce but cannot go through the legal procedure due to the persecution against Falun Gong by the government? Can one fall in love with another person under such a situation when one's marriage only exists on paper? What can a practitioner do when he/she does not have an identification card or a household registration card to apply for a marriage certificate with his/her loved one? How should one make up for the formality of legal procedure and ceremony for those who currently live together without a marriage certificate? These kinds of questions go on and on. Some practitioners have been considering how to deal with these situations so as to comply with Master's teaching, conforming to ordinary people's conditions and breaking the old evil forces' persecution and destructive arrangement all at once.

Indeed the answers to these issues are easy for one who does not practice cultivation. But as Dafa disciples in the Fa-rectification period, it is an attachment when one takes sentimentality issues too seriously because of the remaining ordinary people's attachments in his/her heart. So perhaps the focus of the questions should not be how to resolve problems when one has strong attachments. Maybe one should rethink how to treat one's attachments based on Fa-rectification requirements, and put saving all sentient beings as the top priority.

Of course, the attachments practitioners have all come from the remaining aspects of our human hearts that have not been cultivated. It is quite painful to struggle with all kinds of attachments. However, in the face of conflicts, looking at things from the Fa-rectification perspective rather than a human perspective reflects the level of practitioners' xinxing [heart nature, moral character] and degree of assimilation to Dafa. It is true cultivation when one has done it. Only when one sets high standards for oneself when facing conflicts can one overcome them and remain clear and wise.

A disciple views problems differently from ordinary people when they arise.

For example, we mentioned the sentimentality between husband and wife. A husband and wife have a predestined relationship. It is normal that conflicts exist in daily life. If a practitioner can control his/her xinxing and think about the problems wisely, any issues can be resolved harmoniously. It can turn the problems into good things in the course of cultivation. So the issue of a broken relationship should not exist. Otherwise, would it not be the same as ordinary people?

Gods have basic requirements for a person's marriage, and marriage is sacred and grand. After being married, whether husband and wife can be loyal to each other is the foundation of a marriage. The idea of divorce was formed in today's society after people's moral standards deviated. Personal sentiments and irrational feelings are used as standards to measure whether a marriage should exist or not. Of course, some practitioners say that they cannot remain calm and have to follow ordinary people's way. Then that is their own choice as an individual. There are no rules for ordinary human beings in Dafa.

If one of the married couple is a non-practitioner who has initiated divorce due to the pressure from the Jiang faction's persecution, I think that as Dafa disciples in the Fa-rectification period, we should put our efforts into saving beings. Even in the case of divorce, one still should try his/her best to save the spouse. At least they had a predestined relationship and lived together for a while. Nowadays, moral standards have dropped dramatically in society, and people talk about getting together and even separating agreeably as well.

With regards to single Dafa disciples who fell in love with each other and wanted to get married, but cannot go through the legal procedures because of the persecution, do you really have to marry before the end of the persecution? Every minute and second are so precious for clarifying the truth-- can't you wait until the end of the persecution and have a noble marriage procedure then?

Keeping a serious attitude towards marriage is a basic moral requirement and one of the bases of self-esteem for a human being. It is not obeying old forces' arrangement. In ancient times when moral standards were high, people did not get married right away when they fell in love. Big events in one's life need serious consideration. Following the heavenly and social situations is also one of the principles for a human being. Let's take a few steps back. Even the attitude of "If love can last forever, then we don't have to be together every day and night" could be a transcendent solution for relationship under this current special environment.

Speaking of the old forces' arrangements, they treat us as regular cultivators doing self-cultivation and dare to interfere with Fa-rectification. If we are attached to human emotions and do not obey the moral rules that Gods have set for human beings, sentient beings would not respect us based on our moral standards. When Dafa disciples fail to do well in saving human beings, it is exactly falling into the old forces' arrangement.

While being addicted to emotions, one is easily taken advantage of by the evil. In Mainland China, some material-producing sites were found and destroyed due to the improper handling of sentimentality problems by some individual practitioners. These painful lessons deserve our caution in the future.

For those who live together as husbands and wives without going through the proper ceremony, Gods from both the old and new universes do not acknowledge their marriage, since it violates the moral requirements that Gods have set for human beings. Even though it is impossible to reverse it, one should think about ways to repair it such as notifying parents and friends and holding a ceremony. The most important thing is living up to moral standards.

In conclusion, sentimentality issues are only a portion of the thousands of difficult problems that Dafa disciples in the Fa-rectification period encounter. Basically, it is still a question of how to prioritize things, and how to cultivate xinxing.

These are my personal opinions.

January 19, 2004

Chinese version available at http://minghui.org/mh/articles/2004/1/20/65359.html

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