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More Thoughts on How to Handle Issues Related to Love and Marriage
By Lu Nan
(Clearwisdom net) Many Dafa practitioners in Mainland China are
currently homeless and forced to live outside due to the persecution, so they
often validate the Fa and clarify the truth by themselves without other
practitioners around to talk with. For them, reading experience sharing and
other articles on Minghui is particularly important. There are some
sentimentality issues bothering some disciples right now, and further discussion
based on understanding of the Fa principles is needed. Practitioners have raised many questions regarding sentimentality. For
example, can Dafa disciples divorce when their relationship is broken? When a
Dafa disciple's spouse who does not practice initiates a divorce because he/she
cannot handle the pressure from Jiang's persecution, or because of conflicting
personalities, different beliefs, and broken relationships, what should the
disciple do? Can a Dafa disciple seek a divorce because of issues like
conflicting personalities, different beliefs, and broken relationships? How does
one treat a situation where both parties have agreed to divorce but cannot go
through the legal procedure due to the persecution against Falun Gong by the
government? Can one fall in love with another person under such a situation when
one's marriage only exists on paper? What can a practitioner do when he/she does
not have an identification card or a household registration card to apply for a
marriage certificate with his/her loved one? How should one make up for the
formality of legal procedure and ceremony for those who currently live together
without a marriage certificate? These kinds of questions go on and on. Some
practitioners have been considering how to deal with these situations so as to
comply with Master's teaching, conforming to ordinary people's conditions and
breaking the old evil forces' persecution and destructive arrangement all at
once. Indeed the answers to these issues are easy for one who does not practice
cultivation. But as Dafa disciples in the Fa-rectification period, it is an
attachment when one takes sentimentality issues too seriously because of the
remaining ordinary people's attachments in his/her heart. So perhaps the focus
of the questions should not be how to resolve problems when one has strong
attachments. Maybe one should rethink how to treat one's attachments based on Fa-rectification
requirements, and put saving all sentient beings as the top priority. Of course, the attachments practitioners have all come from the remaining
aspects of our human hearts that have not been cultivated. It is quite painful
to struggle with all kinds of attachments. However, in the face of conflicts,
looking at things from the Fa-rectification perspective rather than a human
perspective reflects the level of practitioners' xinxing [heart
nature, moral character] and degree of assimilation to Dafa. It is
true cultivation when one has done it. Only when one sets high standards for
oneself when facing conflicts can one overcome them and remain clear and wise. A disciple views problems differently from ordinary people when they arise. For example, we mentioned the sentimentality between husband and wife. A
husband and wife have a predestined relationship. It is normal that conflicts
exist in daily life. If a practitioner can control his/her xinxing and
think about the problems wisely, any issues can be resolved harmoniously. It can
turn the problems into good things in the course of cultivation. So the issue of
a broken relationship should not exist. Otherwise, would it not be the same as
ordinary people? Gods have basic requirements for a person's marriage, and marriage is sacred
and grand. After being married, whether husband and wife can be loyal to each
other is the foundation of a marriage. The idea of divorce was formed in today's
society after people's moral standards deviated. Personal sentiments and
irrational feelings are used as standards to measure whether a marriage should
exist or not. Of course, some practitioners say that they cannot remain calm and
have to follow ordinary people's way. Then that is their own choice as an
individual. There are no rules for ordinary human beings in Dafa. If one of the married couple is a non-practitioner who has initiated divorce
due to the pressure from the Jiang faction's persecution, I think that as Dafa
disciples in the Fa-rectification period, we should put our efforts into saving
beings. Even in the case of divorce, one still should try his/her best to save
the spouse. At least they had a predestined relationship and lived together for
a while. Nowadays, moral standards have dropped dramatically in society, and
people talk about getting together and even separating agreeably as well. With regards to single Dafa disciples who fell in love with each other and
wanted to get married, but cannot go through the legal procedures because of the
persecution, do you really have to marry before the end of the persecution?
Every minute and second are so precious for clarifying the truth-- can't you
wait until the end of the persecution and have a noble marriage procedure then? Keeping a serious attitude towards marriage is a basic moral requirement and
one of the bases of self-esteem for a human being. It is not obeying old forces'
arrangement. In ancient times when moral standards were high, people did not get
married right away when they fell in love. Big events in one's life need serious
consideration. Following the heavenly and social situations is also one of the
principles for a human being. Let's take a few steps back. Even the attitude of
"If love can last forever, then we don't have to be together every day and
night" could be a transcendent solution for relationship under this current
special environment. Speaking of the old forces' arrangements, they treat us as regular
cultivators doing self-cultivation and dare to interfere with Fa-rectification.
If we are attached to human emotions and do not obey the moral rules that Gods
have set for human beings, sentient beings would not respect us based on our
moral standards. When Dafa disciples fail to do well in saving human beings, it
is exactly falling into the old forces' arrangement. While being addicted to emotions, one is easily taken advantage of by the
evil. In Mainland China, some material-producing sites were found and destroyed
due to the improper handling of sentimentality problems by some individual
practitioners. These painful lessons deserve our caution in the future. For those who live together as husbands and wives without going through the
proper ceremony, Gods from both the old and new universes do not acknowledge
their marriage, since it violates the moral requirements that Gods have set for
human beings. Even though it is impossible to reverse it, one should think about
ways to repair it such as notifying parents and friends and holding a ceremony.
The most important thing is living up to moral standards. In conclusion, sentimentality issues are only a portion of the thousands of
difficult problems that Dafa disciples in the Fa-rectification period encounter.
Basically, it is still a question of how to prioritize things, and how to
cultivate xinxing. These are my personal opinions. January 19, 2004 |