Transcend Self, Truly Cultivate in Dafa
By a Chinese practitioner
(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Gong on
April 25, 1996. I borrowed a copy of Zhuan Falun from a colleague that
day. My third eye had been open since I was very young, even my greater
meridians were opened before I attained the Fa. I had a traffic related accident
when I was young, where I was hit by a car and thrown more than ten meters. My
bicycle was destroyed. However, I saw a pair of huge hands that held me and
gently lowered me to the ground. I did not suffer any injury at all. I knew then
that there must be cultivation out there, and I had always sought after the
great Fa for genuine cultivation. It was close to midnight when I started reading Zhuan
Falun. Just after reading the first paragraph in the first chapter and
seeing Teacher's picture, I understood what it meant to be holding this book. I
started to cry. This was the great Fa that I had been seeking all my life. This
was the destiny of my life. A lot of tribulations and tests were easily overcome after
obtaining the Fa. After July 20, 1999, I told other fellow practitioners, "There
is nothing for us to be scared about. They only have a limited number of tricks:
coercion and threats, money, women and using our families against us. Don't be
afraid. They cannot touch us." I had no fear and appeared to cultivate well. But for a long
time I could not rid the deeply rooted attachments of egotism and selfishness.
It appeared because I never looked within myself, but let others seek from
within themselves and used the words of Dafa and Teacher to cover myself. This
selfish substance had a tight grip on me. I was unable to strive forward
diligently, and this caused me to run into obstacles. The old forces were
exploiting me. After I attained the Fa, I was full of confidence in my
cultivation and myself. I was feeling complacent. I thought I was good and
determined. I thought I was perfect. I was so stubborn that I could not listen
to other practitioners' advice. When others pointed out my shortcomings, I would
recite statements from Dafa to attack their words, "Why can you see my
shortcomings? Why is it you and not someone else? You better think carefully
about yourself. How can you criticize me if you did not do well? Could it be
your biased opinion that made my good points look bad? Perhaps if you were
without those deficient areas then my true color would shine through to you!" It was quite obvious that I was at fault, but I put the blame
on others. Even though I could detect the selfishness in me through such
incidents, I still thought I was terrific. Others took the opportunity to
cultivate, but I pushed away all the opportunities to raise my level. Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa
Conference," "Having said that, another thing occurred to me, and that
is, you shouldn't look at things in absolute terms. And that's especially
true when it comes to those crooked principles that the evil in China
promulgates. For example, they spread "if you want others to do well, you
have to do well yourself first." Think about it everybody, is that saying
right? Many people hold onto that saying and use it to hide their own
mistakes that they don't want to correct. And that's especially so in the
case of those who have problems, they take it as the truth and won't let go.
I can tell you, though, that this is absolutely wrong. Can't a person who
isn't perfect tell you to do well? Can't a person who's made mistakes tell
others to do well? What kind of logic is that? How many people have thought
this over carefully? The evil regime's propaganda has twisted that principle into this: if you
want others to behave well, you have to behave well yourself. It's a very
evil saying. It looks like, "Oh, it's true. The saying makes a lot of
sense." But it doesn't make one bit of sense, and it can only play a
negative role. Who can behave so well? Where can you find a perfect human
being? Even with a cultivator who's reached the last step in his cultivation
and just not yet completely shed his human body, he still has sins and
karma, and he still has attachments. But, when he reaches that step in
cultivation he has far surpassed ordinary human beings. If we go by that
saying, nobody can tell anybody else to behave well. Wouldn't society be
done for? Dafa disciples have attachments, ordinary human attachments that they
have yet to eliminate by cultivating, and they have areas in which they fall
short. But that doesn't mean a Dafa disciple is completely no good, it
doesn't mean this being isn't up to par, and it doesn't mean this Dafa
disciple hasn't cultivated himself well. In many, many areas he has
cultivated very well. He makes mistakes because he still has attachments
that need to be revealed so that he can realize his own inadequacies, and
that's why they manifest. It's only possible to cultivate them when they
manifest themselves. If things stay hidden and aren't displayed it's rather
hard to remove them with cultivation, and if even he himself doesn't realize
they exist, then it's really hard to cultivate." I was just like what Teacher pointed out back then, using
this notion to cover my own faults without the will to correct it. Teacher was
speaking about me, and I was every bit like what Teacher stated. If things stay
hidden and aren't displayed, it's rather hard to remove them with cultivation,
and if the practitioner doesn't realize they exist, then it's really hard to
cultivate. And I thought I was an ardent practitioner and had a good
understanding of Dafa. There were two more questions answered by Teacher in
"Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference." "Question: Only after having cultivated this long have I realized what my
fundamental attachment is, which is the attachment to my self. Teacher: Yes. To put it plainly, that's the fundamental factor of
beings of the past. In the past, when it came to this, you all had it, and
many people couldn't recognize it in fact. As you improve as a whole it
isn't that pronounced anymore. Question: When we were validating Dafa before, although things were done
to validate Dafa, looking at them today they were done on a selfish,
self-affirming basis. Our question is: why did we become aware of this so
late? Teacher: Validating the Fa is also cultivation. The cultivation
process is one of continually recognizing your own shortcomings and then
disposing of them. It's only that the earlier a lot of fundamental
attachments are recognized the better. Recognizing them is, in itself,
improvement. Being able to eliminate it, or overcome it, weaken it, and in
the end completely eliminate it, that process is one of constantly
improving, and it's the fundamental transformation of a being." I was exactly like what Teacher pointed out in answering
those two questions. I had a strong attachment to my ego and myself, using Dafa
to show off my own uniqueness. I hung on to this selfishness and egotism
tightly, and still felt proud and complacent about myself! I had caused
significant damage to Dafa. Everything started to go against me at work, at home
and even among fellow practitioners. People whom I had admonished before now
told me, "You better look for your own problems! We wouldn't be so critical
about you if you were truly that good. You better find out your fundamental
attachment. Are you sure you know how to cultivate?" The situation turned for the worse and I started to realize
that I must change for the better. Yet I still did not recognize just how
serious my problem was, and how critical everything in my life was. I thought it
was just an attachment. One day an indescribable energy overwhelmingly broke into my
head and my whole body reverberated with this energy. I did not know what came
about, but I suddenly recalled a lesson that I learned when I was in elementary
school. It was a story called "Zhou Chu Eradicated Three Calamities." The story
was about how a folk hero, Zhou Chu, dived into a river to kill a menacing
dragon, and then went deep into the mountains to kill a man-eating tiger. Yet
people were still not happy about what he did and no one treated him as a hero.
Later Zhou Chu realized that the dragon and tiger were really not the most
terrible in the eyes of people. In fact people considered Zhou Chu himself the
worst calamity. Zhou Chu was so ashamed of himself. He thought he was a folk
hero, yet he did not realize that he was even more hideous than the monsters as
seen by others. He finally made up his mind to totally change himself for the
better. He went away seeking the best teacher, and studied ethics and etiquette.
He eventually became a true leader who brought good things to people. I suddenly understood from this story: Even though on the
surface I appeared to study Dafa and had gotten rid of many attachments based on
fame, gain, and sentimentality, essentially I was no different from the old
forces--we were all sentient beings in the old universe, and we all had
unrecognized selfishness buried deeply in our minds. Why could the old forces
not recognize that they were undermining Dafa, but thought they were helping
Teacher? Why did their smooth and evasive nature on the surface make them
impervious to their self-oriented mentality? Why could they not recognize their
attachment amid the actions they had taken? They felt Teacher should reward them
by satisfying all their demands since they were involved. They were seeking the
results from their undertaking. When Teacher pointed out their shortcomings, the
old forces still insisted, "We have been helping you all along" in order to
cover up their selfishness and pursuit. Looking back at myself after I looked at the old forces, I
was frightened, with a cold sweat breaking out on my back. I had all the factors
from the old forces in my body. It was futile for me to destroy all of the old
forces and evil. All of my own degenerated factors would undermine the Fa-rectification
just the same. The old forces were like the menacing dragon and tiger, but I was
Zhou Chu. I also realized that if I did not possess such thoughts, then the old
forces could not be so hideous. My degenerated mentality fostered the old forces
action. My mind was shaken. I realized that it would be a major test
in cultivation whether I could recognize and eradicate this most fundamental
attachment of selfishness and egotism. I finally walked this most difficult
path. This was very difficult. It was difficult because I could not recognize
it. It was difficult because I did not want to find out myself when I was
nursing my grievance. It was difficult because I still did not want to get rid
of this fundamental attachment, even after I identified it. Finally it passed
and my life ascended with the Fa-rectification. I had transcended myself and
truly started cultivating in Dafa. From the perspective of "Whereas everything
forged by Dafa is not attached to self" ("Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa
Conference"), the highest order of the old cosmos could not compare with the
lowest order of the new universe. It would not even come close, just like the
difference between dirt and gold. It was not merely the changes on the surface,
but the uplifting and ascension of our nature and essence. Dafa is so magnificent and can transform all that is bad to
good. Now I can see that some practitioners still have not changed their
fundamentally self-oriented nature, even though they are involved with the Fa
validation and efforts of saving sentient beings. Because their true nature has
not changed, they are in fact undermining from within. I know Teacher treasures
them and continues to provide opportunities for them to rise by pointing out
their shortcomings. I also believe that by truly following Teacher's mandate to
study the Fa, they will see their own deficiencies. I have faith that Dafa will
fundamentally transform them, provided that they truly are willing to transform
themselves. * * * * * *
Chinese version available at
http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2004/2/8/66876.html
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