By a Falun Dafa practitioner in China

(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Dafa practitioner from a southern region in China. I was arrested by the "610 Office" (1) while in a northwestern city at the end of 2002. I was accused of mailing truth-clarification materials to city residents. I was taken in for interrogation, but I did not cooperate with the interrogators. I denied the whole affair and held a hunger strike to protest the persecution. After three months of hunger strike, I was told that they mistakenly arrested me, that I had done nothing wrong, and that I would be sent home. Then they persuaded me to stop my hunger strike. I was taken aback by their false kindness and stopped my hunger strike. After I regained my strength, I was sentenced to three years of forced labor and was not released to go home as promised.

During my detention at the labor camp, my beliefs in Dafa and Teacher were constantly tested. The first thing I encountered was an attempt by the camp to "reform" me. The camp personnel used every means to try to force me to write the "Three Statements." (2) They also forced me to read books and watch videos that slandered Dafa and Teacher. When I refused to do as they demanded, they tied my legs and hands together and forced me to stand facing a wall while they read the slander out loud to me. They deprived me of sleep for a long period of time. They continued to torture me mentally even when both my mental and physical condition were deteriorating and at their worst. I could endure the beatings and scoldings as long as I maintained my xinxing (mind-nature or moral character). What was most difficult for me to endure, and where I suffered most, was from being deprived of sleep. I remember that I once shared experiences with another practitioner who had been released from a labor camp. He told me that he once thought of committing suicide when he was in the labor camp. I told him seriously that committing suicide is like committing a crime, as Teacher taught us that killing is a sin, and I questioned how he could ever have such a thought? He said that he couldn't endure the torture any longer, and felt that he would rather die than be forced to renounce Falun Gong. Thinking back at that moment, I understood his feelings. But I knew Dafa practitioners were all steadfast, and they would never do something that went against Dafa.

When they tried to coerce me to write the "Three Statements," the evil people screamed loudly, "You can't stand it any longer! Surrender! Write the 'Three Statements' and you can join the others to go to sleep." They used intimidation, coercion, deceit, and superficial kindness in attempts to change my resolution. They told practitioners that it would not matter if they wrote a guarantee statement promising to stop practicing the Falun Dafa exercises, since they are not allowed to practice anyway. Then they promised that if a practitioner wrote a guarantee statement, it could be returned to the practitioner later to tear up if the practitioner changed their mind. If one's righteous thoughts were not strong enough, the evil would find a loophole and not let you go free, thus leaving a blemish in you cultivation journey. They sent group after group of collaborators (3) to try to persuade me to stop practicing and give up my belief in "Truthfulness, Compassion, and Tolerance." After two months, they could not achieve their goal of reforming me and gave up, and had to send me back to my cell.

During the two months of the brainwashing sessions, I realized that I had several omissions. For example, one time when several collaborators took me to a quiet room; one of them told me that if I wanted to shout out "Falun Dafa is good," then I could go ahead and do that. Whenever I shouted out the words in front of many people, the police would shock me with electric batons. I didn't realize at the time that loudly shouting out "Falun Dafa is good" was extremely powerful in the place where the persecution was being carried out. The evil is most fearful of such things. Also, during that time, my attachment to fear caused me to passively endure the punishment of standing facing the wall in the main hallway. I didn't rectify the Fa with my true self. Another omission I had was my understanding of holding a hunger strike. During my hunger strike, I suffered both mentally and physically, and I was concerned that I'd be too weak to avoid losses in my cultivation. At the time of my hunger strike, I was momentarily confused by the collaborators' lies, and thought that going on a hunger strike would bring trouble to ordinary people, and was therefore not an act of kindness. I thus ended my hunger strike, bringing more retribution to myself.

I was later sent to a different camp brigade. I was not allowed to talk to anyone. Everywhere I went, I was followed, including to the bathroom. I did not have any money to buy daily necessities, and I was also physically weak at that time. Camp personnel prohibited me from borrowing money from other practitioners. The "610 Office" sent me to the forced labor camp without notifying my family, who only learned of my whereabouts after I wrote to them later. My family then sent me money, but the team captain wouldn't give me the money, and wouldn't allow me to borrow clothing or other daily needs from other practitioners. During this period, I frequently pondered to myself and realized that our personal cultivation is connected with the Fa-rectification. Should I just endure everything passively? I finally realized that, even here in the forced labor camp, there is absolutely nothing wrong with practicing Falun Gong, that I should not be treated like a criminal, and that I should validate the Fa. But to take this step forward was quite difficult. I began a hunger strike for the third time and refused to cooperate with the evil; I did not answer their roll calls or participate in any of the so-called re-education or physical labor. The police ordered the criminal inmates to torture me because I refused to cooperate. When they force-fed me, they poked my mouth so forcefully that my mouth bled and my teeth came loose. My face and body were covered with bruises. During the first month of my hunger strike, the team captain forced me to join them in the dining hall while they ate. Later, I realized that I shouldn't cooperate with them. The captain then told the criminal inmates who were watching me that if I didn't go to the dining hall, then the whole brigade would not be allowed to eat and they would all have to stand in the hall instead. So, four of them carried me to the dining hall. I shouted, "Falun Dafa is Good" all the way there. After they finished eating, they either carried or dragged me back. From being dragged back and forth to the dining hall, several pairs of my pants were torn. The criminals often hit me when we returned to our cell. Three meals each day ended with them beating me. A drug addict convict tried to persuade me with sentimentality. She asked me to walk by myself, and when I refused, she said she would carry me on her back. After three days, they all decided to tell the captain that the whole team would rather stand in the hall that day.

At that moment, I truly realized that when we have righteous thoughts, the evil collapses. I was getting weaker, and my body was deteriorating; I was emaciated, my muscles were wasting away, and I was starting to lose my vision. Other than going to the restroom, I was lying in bed all day. The old forces wouldn't allow me to get in touch with others. When I used the bathroom; no one else was allowed to enter. When I saw other practitioners on my way to the restroom, some of them gave me a thumbs up to encourage me. I persisted in my belief in Teacher and Dafa. I should be validating Dafa outside instead of staying in this labor camp. Sometimes, when I felt lonely, I would recite Teacher's lectures in order to check whether there was any omission in my behavior. One day I remembered a sentence, "Even when the head fell down, the body was still meditating." I realized that I needed to create an environment to be able to practice the exercises. A practitioner needs to practice wherever he or she goes. So I began to do the fifth meditation exercise. As soon as I sat in the meditation position, the prisoners would immediately beat me. One drug addict took pity on me, and whispered to me that she would be on night duty and let me practice. Each day, when it was time to check the rooms and do roll call, I would shout, "Falun Dafa is good." When visitors came or I was on my way to the restroom, I also shouted, "Falun Dafa is good." The inmates would stuff my mouth with a towel. Later, the police wouldn't even come to our cell. When it was time for roll call, they would just stand outside the window to count. They were afraid to hear the righteous slogan.

One day the camp chief sent someone to ask for my family's telephone number and I wouldn't tell them. Then, the director of the corrections department came to talk to me and told me that the chief had already gotten in contact with my family. She asked me to stop the hunger strike. I clarified the truth to her and hoped that she would understand. They transferred me to a different brigade the following day. I had total freedom to practice the exercises, send forth righteous thoughts, and shout righteous sentences. However, someone came to try to persuade me to stop the hunger strike. After a few days, the director from my hometown office, two people from my work unit, and my husband all came to take me home. My husband's airfare to the camp was paid by his work unit and hometown office. The forced labor camp paid our fares for our trip home. It was just like what Teacher said:

"... a student who told people the facts about Dafa and shouted "Dafa is good" wherever she went. 'No matter where they take me, I'll ignore everything the vicious policemen say, and no matter how violently you beat me or how terribly you swear at me, I'll remain just as I am.' The labor camp was so scared that they sent her back in a hurry--'We don't want her.' It's because they figured, 'We won't be able to convert her, and on top of that she'll influence a large number of people.' (People laugh) And they won't be able to get a bonus, either. (Applause) They had no way to handle it--where could the local police station put her? They had no way to handle it, so they sent her home." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")

(1) "610 Office" is an agency specifically created to persecute Falun Gong, with absolute power over each level of administration in the Party and all other political and judiciary system.

(2) "Three Statements" - Practitioners are coerced under brainwashing and torture to write these as proof that they have given up their belief. Created by the "610 Office," the three statements consist of a letter of repentance, a guarantee to never again practice Falun Gong, and a list of names and addresses of all family members, friends and acquaintances who are practitioners.

(3) Collaborators are former Falun Gong practitioners who have turned against Dafa due to brainwashing and torture.