Cleaning up My Gaps and Denying Imprisonment with Righteous Thoughts

By a practitioner in China

(Clearwisdon.net) In April 2003, I was arrested by the police and taken to a detention center. It was night when I arrived there. All the detainees were sleeping on the floor. I slept on the hard and cold floor and awakened many times because of the cold. I felt victimized and even shed tears. However I enlightened at once. It's true that I should not be subjected to all these tribulations. I understood that they were arranged by the evil forces, and that our Teacher would not allow for me to be imprisoned here. I wondered as to what had happened? I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, how could I feel victimized, just like everyday people do? I started to send forth righteous thoughts and to deny all the evil arrangements imposed on me by the old forces. Then I began to look inside to find the gaps that had been taken advantage of by the old forces. It dawned on me that it was the mentality of seeking comfort. Wasn't I too comfortable at home? I thought over my past actions and I found that I had not done well. I found myself to have a very strong mentality of seeking comfort. That was why I felt victimized as soon as I was sent to the detention center. However, I still believed that this was not really the root cause of the problem. If I could not find the gap the evil would strengthen and enlarge it and the evil would use this as an excuse and continue to persecute me. Before I could fully discover the gap, I kept sending forth righteous thoughts daily to eliminate the arrangements by the evil. Master told us in "Explaining the Fa during the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference:"

I denied all the arrangements by the evil. Even though I had attachments and gaps, they should not be used as excuses for persecution by the evil. Detaining me meant not allowing me to study the Fa (1), trying not to let me become a good person or upgrade myself and trying not to let my heart return to righteousness. How could I acknowledge it? Through continuously looking inside I found my gap -- sexual desire. The evil used these degenerated things to take control of me and used it as an excuse to persecute me. I awakened in alarm. As I awakened, I found that I had not been within Dafa. Finding the gap I instantly became clearheaded. I shared my understanding with fellow practitioners and continuously looked inside myself. They had noticed the changes in me. One day, one of the practitioners said, "You can rest assured that you will be released."

Before the current arrest and persecution, I had gone to Beijing several times to appeal for Falun Dafa. I was arrested, detained and had even been sentenced to forced labor. This time the policeman again wanted to sentence me to forced labor. I knew that whatever he said did not count. Therefore, on the way to the detention center I said to the policeman, "To resist your prosecution, from now on I will not eat anything until I regain my freedom." Though I had not eaten or had anything to drink for several days, I was still in very high spirits. In the detention center everyone would be forced to "sit rigid" (2) every day. The difference between the practitioners and the everyday people was that we did not wear the prison uniform. When they saw me not wearing the prison uniform they would drape the uniform over my shoulders and I would regularly pull it down. I was a bit scared in my heart but I would instantly deny the bad notion. This mentality of fear would reemerge and I would deny it whenever it occurred.

When the evil saw my mentality of fear, it purposely used this mentality as an excuse and to arrange opportunities to persecute me. Seeing through the evil arrangement, I let go of the mentality of fear. I sent forth righteous thoughts immediately, to eliminate the arrangements by the evil. The result was very good. I shared my enlightenment with two other practitioners. I said to them, all these were arranged by the evil in an attempt to persecute us. The requirement of "sitting rigid" was one of the arrangements. Everything that happened in the detention center, including being imprisoned, was arranged by the evil. I decided not to "sit rigid" ever again. People in my room were all sitting in rows, however I lay down behind them. I understood that not participating in "sitting rigid" was also to deny the arrangements and the persecution by the evil.

One of the practitioners who was held in the same room with me was about to be released. I gave her my home telephone number and asked her to tell my family that I had done nothing wrong. I wanted them to know that it was wrong to arrest me and keep me there. This was to let my family know the truth so that they could go to the police station and request my release. When later I returned home, my mother told me that the practitioner had told them everything. He let them know about the things that happened to me in the detention center, including my hunger strike. My family went to the police station the following day to request my release. During that period of time all the practitioners who knew about my detention sent forth righteous thoughts to help me eliminate the evil. As a matter of fact it was really a miracle, given my Xinxing (3), to walk out of the detention center and shake off the evil demons. I asked myself about how much has Teacher borne for me during that time! Teacher tells us,

Because I studied Fa less and less with each passing day I became more and more like an everyday person. I could not set a strict standard for myself. I failed to see myself as a Dafa practitioner when encountering problems. During my detention, bad notions and thoughts emerged from time to time, which gave me a lot of interference. For example, when other practitioners were released and the last remaining one was shifted to another cell, I felt a sense of hopelessness. I wished very much to have fellow practitioners to come and stay there with me. When this thought came to the forefront I was shocked. Putting aside the interference, I despaired as to how bad the thought was. However, at the time I did not know that it was not my thought. I myself should not stay here, how could I even think to let other practitioners come to be detained with me? I said to myself that since I am here I'd better hurry up and leave. There should be no persecution of Falun Dafa practitioners. It should have never happened and should never happen again. There should be no gap for the evil to take advantage of. I realized that after a fellow practitioner who often clarified the truth to everyday people was released, I had to continue what she had begun. I had to clarify the truth.

Notes

(1) "Fa" - Law and principles of Falun Dafa.

(2) "Sitting Rigid" -- Every day, practitioners were forced to sit on benches with their hands on top of their laps and their backs straight, for 18 hours per day. This continued for over fifty days. The authorities even limited practitioners' time for restroom use. Because of the long time spent sitting on hard benches, practitioners' buttocks developed big sores that hurt dreadfully. Practitioners could not even urinate because of the pain. Because the labor camp was very damp and wet and the police would not allow practitioners to have air ventilation or the chance to get some sunlight, and because practitioners were locked up for so long, countless red scabies developed on their bodies. They were incomparably itchy and painful.

(3) "Xinxing" - The nature of the mind or the heart, moral character.
Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2004/7/1/78378.html

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