Hardships Temper the Body of Gold -- Clarifying the Truth to Offer Salvation to Sentient Beings
By Chi Ying from Washington, D.C., U.S.A
Shared at the 2004 Washington, D.C. Falun Dafa Conference (Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, Master! Greetings, Fellow Practitioners! I would like to share some of my recent experiences. Please correct me if you
see any area where I could improve. Recently I reviewed a number of Falun Dafa documentary and truth
clarification videos from the past five years. The path we have walked together
over the past five years seems to be fading from our minds. I was deeply moved
by the compassion and solid faith manifested in all of these faces ¨C my fellow
practitioners who tirelessly work for Dafa. All of the hardships we have
endured, all of the hard work we have done are proving one thing: "Falun
Dafa is great!" I recall that Master said in "The Disciples'
Magnificence," "Dafa disciples are magnificent, because what you
are cultivating is the ultimate Great Fa of the cosmos, because you have
validated Dafa with righteous thoughts, and because you have not fallen during
the massive tribulation." Looking back over my six years of cultivation and since coming overseas, I
had to pass many tribulations, especially during the start of the severe
persecution, when I had just graduated from college and was very busy with
various truth clarification projects. Under the pressure of the persecution, I
had to face many family tribulations that young people my age normally do not
need to face. Master had just taught us how to send forth righteous thoughts,
but I did not understand what the old forces' arrangements were. I still looked
at things with emotions. But at one point I clearly understood and gladly
embraced this realization: No matter how difficult things got or how tempting it
was to stop, I never would stop practicing Dafa. Fellow practitioners said that it seemed that I easily passed all of the
tribulations at that time, but I know myself that it was so difficult, as if I
was being totally reborn each time. At that time every one was devoted to
clarifying the truth about the persecution. We lacked resources and were short
handed. Everyone was stretched to his or her limit. We often worked through the
night, but still needed to work or go to class during the day. I went from one
project to another, such as distributing truth clarification materials at
tourist attractions, clarifying the truth to university professors, to TV
personalities, and newspapers. Wherever I was needed, I would appear. I had no
time to think about my own suffering in the great current of Fa-rectification,
but only felt the sentient beings' hope and my own responsibility. Master said, "Cultivation is hard. It's hard in that even when a terrible
calamity strikes, even when evil madly persecutes, and even when your life is
at stake, you still have to be able to steadfastly continue on your path of
cultivation without letting anything in human society interfere with the steps
you take on your path of cultivation." (from "Path," Essentials
for Further Advancement 2) When I felt pain in my heart, I could tell Master was right beside me, using
the Fa (1) to cleanse me and support me, to pull me forward. I would not have
time to stop or to take a rest. Recalling that period, I am in tears when I
think of Master's compassion, and am so proud of being a Dafa disciple. I am
also very proud of my fellow practitioners who have passed all the tribulations
and followed the Fa-rectification process. Nonetheless, when the situation improved I had to face the problems in myself
that I had ignored. Master said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago
Conference," "Yes, you are clarifying the facts, are busy doing a lot of things,
and there are many things to do; that has demonstrated the extraordinary side
of Dafa disciples. But don't forget to cultivate away the most basic
things!" There was a period of time that I seemed to forget the magnificence of being
a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple; I also forgot the greatness of other
Dafa disciples. I complained that our areas' cultivation environment was not
good, that we did not support each other, had poor coordination, etc., until one
day, I suddenly recognized that all of this was a result of my looking at these
with my own attachments. The only one who had a problem was me, not others. When working on projects, it seemed there was a big problem between
practitioners. Also, I thought, "They are all very strong and capable, and
they disregard others' feelings when they speak. If I were to participate
I would be the next to be criticized." I was within this cultivation
environment, but I never actually put myself in it. When facing a conflict I
always wanted to escape. Sometimes when we had group meetings and it was my turn
to speak, I usually said that I had nothing to say. But when I asked myself,
"If I really did have something to contribute, would I dare to say
it?" No, I wouldn't. In fact, during some important discussions I did not
dare to express myself and be responsible. Why? Am I afraid of being criticized
or afraid of not speaking well? In fact, it was my attachments to
notoriety/recognition and emotions that were being touched upon. Once, a male
practitioner said, "You ladies are always afraid of being criticized,
afraid of losing face." I immediately replied, "Aren't you attached to
your reputation? If someone criticizes you, are you sure your heart is not
moved?" Then I realized it was really just envy and resentment, feeling
things were unfair. I thought that no one was perfect, so if there was something
that didn't work out well, then everyone had to share the blame. This way I was
not looked on as being too bad, compared to others, so then I would feel
comfortable. While I was avoiding conflicts, I was seeking solutions outside myself. I
started to complain that our environment had problems, that we were not focused
enough. I also said if the whole body has a problem, everyone should look
inward. It seemed that this was just said to others though, and I didn't apply
it to myself. Sometimes I was aware that I had a strong personality. I liked to
use my views to comment on others, hoping that others would recognize my strong
points. If they were nice to me, I thought I would not be criticized regarding
my attachments. This way of thinking made me avoid an opportunity to improve;
not only that, it pushed this state onto fellow practitioners. I often saw others improve so quickly, but I still sat there. Just like what
Master said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference," "Some people always insist, "My, how come that person always has
such an attitude? Why is he like that with everyone?" And there are some
people who say, "Well nobody thinks too highly of him." But if you
ask me, your master, you're all wrong. When none of you are attached anymore
to wanting to hear pleasing things, when none of you are affected when you're
insulted, see if he'll still be like that. Exactly because you people have
those attachments, there exist factors that hit on your attachments; and
exactly because those attachments of yours are stirred up, you get irritated;
when all of you have those attachments, the situation where everyone is
irritated by the person who hit on their attachments comes about. If you can
all keep a calm and steady state of mind while being assaulted by strong
words, and you're not at all affected, then see if those factors still
exist." Master also said: "The more you put you first or mix in [factors of] self, the less
mighty virtue you have, and that's why it is less likely that you succeed at
things or do them well." ("Teaching the Fa at the Meeting of Asia-Pacific Students.") Realizing that the old forces were using me and creating strife between
practitioners and slowing down the Dafa project, in addition to thinking about
how so many people need to be saved, I realized that my attachment had become a
big burden. It is so wonderful cultivating in Dafa. I was able to avoid conflicts with
fellow practitioners, but I could not escape problems with my family members.
All of my family members are practitioners. Once I talked to my husband using
the tone of being responsible to fellow practitioners, commenting on each
individual's shortcomings. After a little while, though, I could not go further,
feeling weaker and weaker from commenting on others. Then my husband said,
"What you said was all right, but I didn't feel that you were truly saying
it for my own good." I immediately backed down and agreed. I was speaking for my own sake, hoping
that he could cultivate better so that I could benefit from it. I thought about
the comments that I made to others before--how many of them were without concern
for my own self? My mom shared her thoughts during a discussion. Some of them
touched me and made me very uncomfortable, because I did not want to lose face.
As soon as this thought arose, I saw every one laugh at me. I started to feel
resentment and began to complain more. Distrust also came out. On the other
hand, I knew I shouldn't let it go this time. I remembered that Master said in Zhuan
Falun, "As long as you improve your character, you will be able to overcome
them ¨C it's only that you might not want to overcome them. If you want to
overcome them you can." (Zhuan Falun, 2003, "The Fourth
Talk") I asked for help from Master in my heart. Soon after that, at a group study, I felt that my heart was still uneasy.
When I walked into the hall, practitioners were sending forth righteous
thoughts. I saw that the whole energy field in the hall emitted very soft and
beautiful lights that were so strong and sacred. I had never seen anything like
this before and it came from all of the practitioners, regardless of whether
they were female, male, old or young. This was my first time experiencing the
"Buddha-light illuminates everywhere and rectifies all abnormalities."
When I sat down, I clearly felt that something very hard in my body was
dissolved in a second. I no longer carried the attachment in my heart and all
the complaints were gone. Under the illumination from the light, which was
beyond anything one can describe in words, I truly felt that every cell of my
body was happy and joyous, and thankful to every practitioner. Every
practitioner looked so good to me, so bright and shiny. I recalled that a
practitioner once dreamed that every practitioner in the group was Buddha and
god-like. I had never before thought about how this group, which I thought was
lacking in kindness, had helped me in a special way that was beyond description.
I gazed at my fellow practitioners and felt that I was a lost child before; now
Master has brought me back in this Buddha and god-like gathering palace. The South Africa shooting incident happened during the time of that specific
Fa study. Fellow practitioners discussed how to deal with it. In my view, it was
not "non-cooperative" anymore, but truly as Master said, that all
"Gods are cooperative," and I felt as if we were "Charging
thousands of miles and breaking evil arrangements". Coming back to a practitioner with whom I'd had a conflict before, the
practitioner now said to me, "I felt that I came here with a great mission
but I regret that I did not perform my role well." It was this practitioner
that once replied to my critiques regarding her complacency saying, "Don't
underestimate Dafa's mighty virtue; everyone who cultivates is within Dafa. Dafa
is boundless; how couldn't it melt a tiny small me?" Yes, it is true: I saw
my fellow practitioners changing every day, changes that were not caused by
common human things. I realized that it was not how much practitioners did for
projects, how big the project was, or how good the relationships are between you
and me. Rather, it is the heart and mindset that everyone has, regardless of
whether it was manifested in respect to others or not, for the purpose of
unconditionally assimilating to Truth, Compassion and Forbearance. During face-to-face truth clarification, we still need to sublimate
ourselves. Ever since joining various projects, I had fewer opportunities to do
face-to-face truth clarification; furthermore, I lack the confidence that I had
before. Coming back from the Atlanta Conference, one practitioner told me when
she was listening to Master's speech, she made the wish that she would never
lose any opportunities to clarify the truth. In fact, that was what she did. No
matter where she was, in her work, talking to customers, meeting with officials,
at a party, on the train, she tried her best to not miss any opportunity. She
was very shy and not a talkative person, but her kind heart moved many people.
Previously I would only talk to those with whom I had contact the most, or those
I purposely wanted to tell the facts of Dafa to. She reminded and encouraged me
to talk to those who even just walked by me. Master said, "Actually, it doesn't matter who it is, once someone enters the Three
Realms it's impossible for him to ever return." ("Touring North
America to Teach the Fa") and, "Yet whoever comes has to be made deluded as humans are, and, without
exception, they become depraved along with people's society. So that's the
relationship. Only those who had the heavenly courage to come down can hear the
Fa that's so mighty and profound." ("Lecture at the First Conference in North America") I realized that Dafa disciples were those who dared to come; furthermore,
among those who have not yet obtained the Fa, there would be many who had
suffered much to come to the human world, just waiting for Dafa and to obtain
the truth. Since they represent a huge group of beings, they are also great and
need to be treasured. My subway ride to work takes longer than an hour. When looking at those
passengers reading their newspapers or resting on their chairs after a busy work
day, particularly for those Chinese people, I said to them in my heart, "Do
you remember why you came here?" I wished I could go and talk to them in
detail, not just hand them the truth clarification materials and chat a little
bit. I could not imagine how I could talk to unfamiliar people, since I never
speak well without consulting my written notes. I seldom talk to anyone I don't
know. Well, once I had the willingness, Master soon created an opportunity for me.
I have a colleague who is also a practitioner. She is very brave and is always
riding the same train with me. She consistently tries hard to locate Chinese
people, wherever she goes. On the train she approaches Chinese people and hands
them the truth clarification materials and starts talking about Falun Dafa. She
puts her whole heart into talking with them. In this strong field I feel very
comfortable and always see the people smile while learning the truth. She
encouraged me to talk to Chinese people. I shyly approached one and asked,
"Do you speak Chinese?" She said yes. I found that I had nothing else
to say after that. I wanted to just hand the woman the informational handouts
and then leave, but she started to talk to me, saying she had left China a long
time ago, so she could not understand the simplified text version of the
handout. I couldn't help but laugh inside; this was an opportunity to force me
to talk! Since Master provided me with this wisdom, once I started, I could not
stop. I was actually surprised at how I could do it. Finally, my words moved her
and I saw tears in her eyes. Seeing her off the train, I sat back and my fellow
practitioner told me she had continuously sent righteous thoughts saying,
"She is rescuing you! Please, listen to her." After this first experience I felt it was much easier. I know Master always
grants the true wishes from every practitioner's heart and creates opportunities
for us. Sometimes the train was quite empty. Then I thought, "Master, it
would be wonderful if there were some Chinese people who could come to me!"
Just then some Chinese people came! I had not had such a wonderful experience
before. A few times when I took a bus from the train station back home, I saw a
Chinese lady who appeared to be new to the U.S.A., but I did not get a chance to
talk to her. Once, I finally felt that I had enough courage to talk to her, but
she did not get off the bus together with me. Looking at the bus I was full of
regret, thinking that if this were the last opportunity to meet her, it would be
a big regret in my life. I made a vow to myself and to Master, "If there is
another chance for me to meet her, I will certainly tell her the truth." A
few days later I just jumped on the bus and stepped on someone's toe. I turned
to apologize and found that it was her! We started a very pleasant conversation.
Since then I have not seen her even once. It is amazing that every opportunity
may appear to be quite accidental, but all of them are very precious. During all of this, the most surprising things were the breakthroughs I
experienced, that I could never have imagined. Many times after I talked to
people, they asked me respectfully while holding the informational CD I gave
them, "Did you put Zhuan Falun on this disk?" Their longing for
the Fa brought tears to my eyes. I seemed to have a new understanding of the
words, "When a person's Buddha's nature comes out it shakes the
Ten-Directional World." (Zhuan Falun 2003, "The First
Talk") Also, I admire these living beings who were lost in this chaotic
world but who still continually try to find the Fa. How can I not treasure these
precious lives? Let's all treasure this predestined relationship that we have
been awaiting for tens of thousands of years. Thank you, Master! and thank you all.
Chinese version available at
http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2004/7/27/80373.html
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