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One Should Not Talk About Others' Shortcomings Nor Brag About One's Own Strengths
By Qingyan
(Clearwisdom.net) There is a saying that goes: "Nobody is
perfect." Everyone has shortcomings. If you always focus on others'
shortcomings and go all over the place telling people, then you will harm
others. This is not how a gentleman should conduct himself. Wen Zhengming, a talented intellectual from southern China, was the most
famous painter and calligraphist in the mid Ming Dynasty. He had a natural
disposition for not wanting to hear other people's flaws. If someone tried to
tell him another person's flaws, he would cleverly avoid the subject to not let
the person carry on the conversation. He was like that all his life. Ma Yuan, a famous general in the Eastern Han Dynasty, also cautioned his
nephew, "I hope that when you hear other people's flaws, you take it as
hearing your parents' names. Your ear can hear it, but your mouth cannot utter
it." (Note: According to Chinese tradition, [out of respect] children are
not supposed to directly say their parents' names.) As for one's own strength or merits, we should not show off our capabilities
and quietly wait until the timing is right, and we should have a modest
attitude. Lao Zi once said to Confucius: "I have heard that a cleaver merchant
will carefully hide his wealth and appear to own nothing at all. A man with
abundant virtue looks very dumb. Get rid of your conceitedness and excess
desires. Get rid of your complacent and confident look, and your self-indulged
mind. None of these is good for you." The Doctrine of the Mean quotes words from The Book of Song:
"Why does a beautiful dress decorated with elegant embroidery have a thin
cloth garment for the exterior? It's exactly because the elegant embroidery was
too prominent." This is used to explain that the Dao of a man is one of not
showing off his capabilities and quietly waiting until the timing is right.
Though his outer appearance may look unremarkable, as time goes by it will
illuminate. If the inner content is shallow, even if the outer appearance is
attractive, it will quickly diminish as the day goes by.
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