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A Mother Instilled Good Discipline, Sons Became Great Scholars By Lu Qing
(Clearwisdom.net) Cheng's mother, Madam Ho, was the wife of a high-ranking government official.
She was also the mother of two renowned scholars, Cheng Mingdao and Cheng
Yichuan, in the Song Dynasty. She took care of her in-laws with strong love and
respect. She instilled good discipline in her family. Moreover, she was a person
of humble disposition and great refinement. She treated her servants with kindness. If her children reprimanded the
servants, she would definitely caution them, "Although there's a difference
between the poor and the rich, we are all human beings." She was always
gentle and forgiving to servants who made mistakes and tried her best not to
hurt them. But when it came to a mistake made by her children, she would
directly point it out if it was a minor one; and if it was a serious mistake,
she would ask her husband to step in to punish them and request that they
correct the mistake. She once said, "The reason for a child to disgrace his
family is because the mother concealed the child's faults from the father and
the father failed to rectify the child's mistake." Mrs. Cheng had six boys but only two survived. She treasured them dearly;
nevertheless, when her children were only a few years old, they stumbled and
fell. Their family members were worried that they were frightened so they
hurried to grab them. Yet, Mrs. Cheng reprimanded the children, "If you had
walked nicely, would you have stumbled and fallen?" She meant to instill in
her children a good mindset so they would hold themselves to strict standards
and not blame others when encountering a problem. When they ate, Mrs. Cheng often asked the two brothers to sit beside her. If
the maids prepared luxurious dishes to serve the little masters, she would
immediately stop them, "If you always fulfill their desires when they are
young, what is going to happen when they grow up?" If her children argued
and fought with others, even if they were right, she would not take their sides.
Mrs. Cheng said, "What worries me is their not being able to deal with any
frustration, rather than their not being able speak out for justice."
Because of this upbringing, ever since they were little, the two Mr. Chengs were
not at all picky about their food or clothing, and even less so would they
verbally abuse others. Cheng Mingdao and Cheng Yichuan grew up to be great
scholars of their generation.
Posting date: 10/17/2005
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