Examining My Attachment to a Family Matter

By a practitioner from Mainland China

(Clearwisdom.net) I am a veteran practitioner who attained the Fa in 1994. I am 78 years old. Although I am older and have very limited literacy, I attained the Fa very early. I have usually been able to hold myself to the Fa's standard and I have walked through the six bloody years of persecution. I have distinguished good from bad on the big matters but have exposed my human mindset on some small matters.

In September 2005, my elder brother was very sick, and I visited him a couple of times. He praised his children for their attentive care during his illness, as the tenderness they showed touched him deeply. I began to wonder, "If I were in his condition, would my children take care of me like that?" After he passed away, his family members were very grieved and cried a lot. I couldn't help thinking about when my wife died a couple of years ago. I had all kinds of sad feelings and felt very distressed. When my elder brother was buried, somebody said, "We have to leave a couple of positions for his brothers." I said, "Don't do that, they might not come back." I was thinking of my own interests. Then I thought, "I will wait and see whether I come back."

At the time I did not realize that this thought was not right. Although a cultivator, my thoughts were not on the Fa. I did not look into myself and I did not eliminate this selfishness with righteous thoughts, so the evil in other dimensions took advantage of my shortcomings. I became very weak in my whole body and had difficulty walking. I needed to take a break just to walk to the fourth floor. There was noise in my ears, my voice became hoarse, my chest felt congested and I had a cough.

I remembered that a practitioner should not have illness, and wondered, "Has the evil in other dimensions used my attachment to persecute me?" Just like what Master said,

I felt deep regret in my heart. I had cultivated for so many years yet still showed this state. I was ashamed in the face of Master's merciful salvation. I felt sorry for my fellow practitioners and felt sorry for myself. I had great pressure on my mind. How would I tell my fellow practitioners?

Then, I remembered Master's teaching:

"With righteous thoughts and righteous actions

He is diligent without letting up" (A Righteous God)

I went to the Fa study group, studied the Fa with my fellow practitioners, improved my understanding, and discovered my shortcomings. With my fellow practitioners' help, I improved according to the Fa, completely denied the old forces' arrangements, and earnestly asked Master to give me strength to eliminate the interference from other dimensions. In this way, I was able to quickly get out of this state. In the meantime, I also came to realize the seriousness of cultivation. Everything I do must be based on the Fa's requirements. I should truly maintain righteous thoughts and righteous actions in order to become a true practitioner in the Fa-rectification period! This is my personal understanding. Please correct any incorrect understandings.

Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2005/11/27/115324.html

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