(Clearwisdom.net) Recently, I shared my cultivation experiences with a few other practitioners. We talked about a phenomenon that exists, in which some practitioners have not dealt well with family conflicts, and how this remains an unsolved problem. Quite a few practitioners have been doing well with clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa outside of their homes, but conversely, they feel baffled when clarifying the truth to their family members. It may seem like your family intentionally finds fault with you: no matter how hard you have tried, they do not "awaken" and cannot accept what you have said. And this stirs feelings of exasperation.
In my view, there are several problems to clearly identify with regard to this phenomenon. Growing up among ordinary people, we have formed certain kinds of habits as ordinary people do. We might have done well and presented ourselves well among ordinary people, thus, we feel that it is just natural for us to have obtained Falun Dafa. From the viewpoint of a new practitioner, this mentality is correct. However, a veteran practitioner with a few years of cultivation experiences should continually improve his xinxing.
We are Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples. We should regard the Fa as our teacher, do everything from the standpoint of the Fa, and constantly rectify our speech and behavior. Perhaps we have had good conduct in the past, but that did not stem from our understanding through cultivating Dafa. Rather, it came from an understanding at the level of ordinary people. This is not true purity when judged by the standards of Dafa. Some of us may behave differently inside our homes, as opposed to outside our homes. Those practitioners cannot hide anything inside their homes, because their families all know them well. Every single action of theirs is crystal clear in front of their family members' eyes. Whenever their behavior does not comply with what they have said, or when they have not done very well according to Dafa, their family members will express negative opinions about them. On the other hand, outside the home, many of us tend to behave well due to the ordinary people's understanding of good habits, and others may not point out our shortcomings so as not to offend us. Therefore, we feel that we are good people when outside of the home.
As Dafa practitioners, we have already obtained Dafa. Every step we have moved forward is bestowed upon us by our Master and Dafa. We do not need any ordinary people's things, thus we can continually strive to upgrade our xinxing. Right now, shouldn't we let go of these external forms, the so called, "good habits" and "good temperament" of ordinary people. Possibly many human attachments hide behind these ordinary people's concepts, especially those of a selfish nature.
Our families are like mirrors. Their reactions trouble us because we hide our own attachments and keep them untouched. As a result, they magnify these attachments and show them to us. If we keep stepping away from these attachments, then conflicts will constantly arise and intensify. In general, these attachments are deeply rooted in our mind and body, and moreover, they are hidden very well. It may very well be that just because of these attachments, our family members cannot understand Falun Dafa.
Master has said in "True Cultivation," from Essentials for Further Advancement:
"As a matter of fact, when you agonize over infringements upon your reputation, self-interest, and feelings among everyday people, it already indicates that you cannot let go of ordinary human attachments. You must remember this: Cultivation itself is not painful--the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments. Only when you are about to let go of your reputation, interests, and feelings will you feel pain."
In "Further Understanding" from Essentials for Further Advancement, Master said:
Do you realize that as long as you're a cultivator, in any environment or under any circumstances, I will use any troubles or unpleasant things you come across--even if they involve work for Dafa, or no matter how good or sacred you think they are--to eliminate your attachments and expose your demon-nature so that it can be eliminated, for your improvement is what's most important."
In "Cautionary Advice," from Essentials from Further Advances, Master said:
"If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation."
We should take seriously the three things all Dafa disciples should do, while constantly purifying ourselves, which will enable us to continually do better. These will compensate and harmonize each other.