(Clearwisdom.net) While clarifying the truth and revealing the evil specter of the Communist Party recently, I gained some understanding that I would like to share. All of my understandings and experiences were originally written in my journal. Later on, I felt that it might be helpful if I share my understandings of some problems with other practitioners, so I decided to publicize them for mutual encouragement. Although I'm firm in my belief in Dafa, due to my limited level, I hope that our fellow practitioners will compassionately point out any faults I may have.

Journal entry for February 23, 2005 Wednesday 23 12:39

Since Master's new article "Turning the Wheel Towards the Human World" was published, I feel the enormous responsibility of being a Dafa disciple and I want with my whole heart to save people that have been poisoned by the Communist culture. However, I have not been able to achieve a very good effect. My relatives and colleagues did not really understand why they should renounce their Party membership. Some of them noted that they had not technically been League members for a long time, so why should they still make a statement? My heart was in turmoil.

In the meantime I have had some problems in all aspects, and I feel exhausted mentally and physically:

1. Whenever I think that about how many people are still in the dark about the nature of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party), and about how time is pressing, my words to others tend to be abrupt.
2. The pressure on my job and life is increasing, and the future of my work unit is in jeopardy. I am responsible for the major duties of the unit.
3. I feel it's very hard to tell my family members and colleagues why they should renounce their Communist Party or the Communist Youth League memberships;
4. I have been experiencing karma-elimination and my wife and children have all been sick.

After carefully looking inward, I realized that not studying the Fa diligently caused so many complications, and thereby affected my ability to do the three things well. In the article, "Drive Out Interference," Master said,

"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts."

After rooting out the deep reasons for these problems, I rectified myself:

Forming new attachments: I felt that I'd already cultivated pretty well, and I'd done some tasks of truth clarification: clarifying the truth face-to-face; producing and distributing CDs; printing and posting up fliers for truth-clarification; editing the "Nine Commentaries on the Chinese Communist Party" text and sending emails; distributing software on breaking through the internet blockade; etc. However, there was an attachment of selfishness in my thoughts. I felt that I'd cultivated very well and that there should not be any more karma-elimination symptoms in my body. Thus, I realized that I must immediately eliminate new attachments as they arise.

2. Worrying about my future and career

After deeply looking inward, I found that I was not firm enough and did not believe in Master and the Fa adequately. My life is a life of cultivation. Why should I worry about my future and career? The path of Dafa disciples was arranged by Master. Should I worry that it might not be arranged well? I looked inward and found where I had not done so well. Originally, I thought that I firmly believed in Master and the Fa; however I had not truly followed through in my actions in accordance with the Fa. I should keep studying the Fa and completely deny the arrangement of fear and interference.

3. Seeing that a lot of people who joined the Communist evil organizations still don't know their dangerous circumstances, I felt anxious and didn't know where to start.

I first thought that I should strengthen my faith to in order to save this group. Large numbers of people in the CCP are predestined people, although there is some difficulty in getting them to realize the evil of the CCP in a short time. But as Dafa practitioners if we lose confidence in saving them, then it's hopeless for them. I could refuse to do it, just because it's difficult, but the more difficult the task is, the firmer I should be.

When I'm not achieving the desired effect by clarifying the truth or revealing the nature of the CCP, I should not feel impatient. I should not feel pressured because its taking a little more time. I should discuss my own experiences and help them understand. To clarify the truth to my colleagues and relatives, especially to encourage them to renounce the Communist Party or the Communist Youth League, takes skill and patience. If I'm not careful, I could make them misunderstand and think that we are getting political. To disclose the Communist evil spirit and encourage people to renounce membership in these organizations, we should choose and prepare necessary materials carefully, according to people's different backgrounds.

Master said,

"I hope you will complete--soberly, rationally, and with righteous thoughts--your journey to Consummation." ("New Year's Greetings" February 9, 2005)

One cannot do well if he does things unconsciously or unwisely. From now on, I should be very careful and deliberate.

February 23, 2005