By Falun Dafa practitioner Yu Xin from China

(Clearwisdom.net) During these past seven years, I have had some very interesting cultivation experiences. It would take too much space to tell all of them, so please forgive me for sharing only a few. I believe that such experiences should be documented, since we need to validate Dafa positively. Documenting cultivation experiences is also validating Dafa.

I finally realized that the main reason I was being persecuted was because I didn't have a very clear understanding of Dafa at the beginning of the persecution. I regarded the harassment, which included detention, fines, the ransacking of my home and dismissal from my job, as my personal tribulations. Holding on to certain human desires and attachments also impeded my understanding the truth. I was uncomfortable living in freedom, while other practitioners were detained and persecuted. I believed that I would rather be arrested and detained along with them. I thought that I would feel better if I were also in the detention center. Such incorrect thoughts filled my mind. These thoughts reinforced the importance of studying the Fa more diligently. Therefore, I decided that no matter what kind of Fa-validation project I was involved in, I would from that moment on be more diligent in studying the Fa, look to the Fa for guidance, eliminate any evil interference, keep a firm heart in Dafa and Teacher, hold righteous thoughts, and do righteous things. I want to complete my entire cultivation path!

I started to practice Falun Dafa in May 1998. Ever since, I have been a steadfast disciple, following Master Li's teachings. With righteous thoughts and actions, I have managed to walk my cultivation path. I would like to share my seven years of cultivation experiences. If there is anything inappropriate, please don't hesitate to let me know.

I was born in 1964 to parents who were poor factory workers. My strong pursuit of fame and other equally selfish interests resulted in many illnesses, such as high cholesterol, when I was only in my thirties. Very often I would lose consciousness, and my heart rate would drop to 40 beats a minute. My immune system no longer seemed to do its job. Every month, I would catch the flu and get a cough. I had to take medication and injections. Black spots appeared on my face and black circles began to show under my eyes. I was so discouraged that I almost developed a death wish. I had a very short temper and was always worried. I knew that I had to let go of my temper and change my mental outlook if I wanted to be healthy. I understood that all these mishaps were caused by an imbalance within me and that no medicine could cure such misfortunes, so I decided to find a cultivation way to help me overcome these shortcomings. I had a strong desire to be healthy.

In May of 1998, through a colleague of mine, I received the book Zhuan Falun. The first time I read the book, I knew that I had found what I had been looking for. I had finally found my cultivation way. On many occasions, I asked fellow practitioners why I was not introduced to Falun Dafa earlier, why it was arranged for me to learn Falun Dafa so late. The first evening, when I began to read the book, I went to the group exercise site and participated in the group study and the exercises. Ever since then, I have not missed a single session. I had embarked on my Falun Dafa cultivation path.

I read the book during breaks at work. I read the book for more than 10 hours daily. At that time, Falun Dafa books were hard to come by. Therefore, I decided to borrow and copy the books. In order to remember the teachings, I started to memorize the books. Through my dedicated study of the Fa, I began to understand many principles. I learned that whenever something negative happened, I should first look within for the possible cause. I also learned that I should look for solutions in the Fa. I realized that, as a cultivator, whatever I did, I should do well. I changed my bad work habits and no longer thought only of personal gain or loss. I used to take home things that belonged to the company. Now, I began to return all that I had taken. I told my manager that I was practicing Falun Gong and that I had learned from Falun Gong that I should not take things that belonged to the company. I told him that I would no longer take things without paying for them. My manager was very happy with me, and I also developed very harmonious relationships with my colleagues.

As I began to care less for fame, personal interest and material wealth, conflicts at home decreased and my temper also improved. I no longer visualized unpleasant consequences whenever something happened. I became relaxed and let things happen as they were meant to happen. My mental outlook changed for the better and I was more open-minded. As a result, I became healthier both mentally and physically. Since I have been cultivating, I have not spent a single penny on medicine. My friends and colleagues have all told me that I appear much healthier and that I seem to be a different person. After I began to practice Falun Gong, my personality changed drastically. While I didn't seek anything from Falun Gong, I had benefited so much from it. The power of Falun Dafa has changed me.

The group practice site where I used to go to was established earlier than many in other areas. The practitioners had all cultivated themselves quite well. They had contributed quite a lot to the dissemination of Falun Dafa in our local area. When comparing myself with other practitioners, I realized that I lagged far behind, and I wanted to catch up as soon as possible. I talked with the practitioners in charge of our local practice site. I made suggestions and asked them to assign me voluntary work. Everything I did for Dafa, I would try my best to do it well. I would never do things just to go through the motions. Even though I was a new practitioner, I had already learned to manage things from the perspective of one body. Such experiences laid out a very firm foundation for my later Fa-validation efforts. In order to help more people learn about Falun Dafa, I spent several thousand yuan to purchase Dafa books for the group. I also bought books to share with others. I read through every one of these books to make sure there were no missing pages or missing characters. Only after checking the book did I let others read it. I also lent or gave my books to people who I felt had predestined relationships with Falun Dafa.

While I was still in high spirits because I could practice Falun Gong, the 1999 "April 25" incident occurred. The atmosphere at the group exercise site became increasingly tense, but I was not afraid at all. On July 20, 1999, the persecution of Falun Dafa started throughout the nation. When practitioners heard on TV that the government had banned Falun Gong and forbidden anyone to practice it, they were stunned. It was impossible to accept such a government policy. Falun Gong was such a wonderful exercise system, and it taught people to become better citizens! Why should it be banned? After a time, the group exercise site was barricaded. We decided to set up a new site and change the location whenever necessary. We tried not to develop attachments to a fixed exercise location. No matter what happened, I kept firm my belief in Falun Dafa and in Teacher. I never held any doubt or wavered at any point. Practitioners often gathered to exchange ideas, discuss issues, and make plans as to what we should do next.

In early September 1999, five of my fellow practitioners and I overcame all kinds of difficulties and interference, and successfully made it to Beijing to validate Dafa. I heard as we were leaving the Beijing train station that several people from my place of work had been sent to intercept us at the Beijing train station. These people simply didn't find us. Later on, the Beijing police found us through the website of the hotel where we stayed. They sent security agents to our rooms at midnight. Under the guise of a room check, they confiscated our ID's. We were arrested and taken to our provincial office in Beijing. We were returned to our hometown and interrogated that night. Afterwards, we were detained under the so-called "disrupting social order and security" law. My home was then ransacked and my work unit fined me 4,500 "yuan". I was dismissed from my place of work and placed on a one-year probation. I was forced to work without pay.

Officials and colleagues from my work talked to me, trying to "change my mind." I took these opportunities to tell these people how Falun Gong had improved my character and how I had become physically stronger and healthier after I took up the practice. I spoke about how I benefited, physically and mentally, from Falun Gong. I also told them that Falun Gong had helped this work unit and my family. Falun Dafa had changed me into a better citizen, "Now you want me to change? Please tell me, what kind of person am I supposed to change into? Do you want to me to become a bad person?" I told them that even if they paid me money, I would still not want to return to what I used to be before I started to practice Falun Dafa. I had lived a depraved and tiring life before. No matter how rich I might become, I wouldn't be content, because my craving for material wealth was insatiable. I told these people that I would never change my mind about Falun Dafa and that I would continue to practice. Later on, I documented my cultivation experiences and sent my document to the managers of my work unit. "An act of mercy as tiny as a drop of water should be rewarded with the bounty of a stream," "A teacher who gives us such teachings for only one day should be regarded as our father forever." I quoted these famous ancient Chinese proverbs in my document. I also said that every conscientious citizen should stand up and defend this righteous cause. It was our responsibility to our nation and our people.

In February 2000, around 30 practitioners from our local area went to Beijing to appeal on behalf of Falun Gong. These practitioners were also persecuted. They were detained, their houses were ransacked, and they were fined. Some were unlawfully sentenced to prison terms. To become part of the overall Dafa validation effort, I wrote a letter to our local municipal administration. Two fellow practitioners and I took my letter and a letter from all of China's Dafa practitioners, both addressed to the National People's Delegation Committee, and handed them to the staff at the local appeals office. We hoped that the government would investigate the true nature of Falun Gong and end the persecution as soon as possible. Later on, another practitioner told the security agency that I had participated in a cultivation experience sharing conference and that I had been actively involved in producing truth clarification materials. I was then treated as a hardcore practitioner and began to experience the evil persecution. I was subsequently fired from my work.

Many fellow practitioners thought that I would try to find a job in a city along the coast, since my husband was working out of town already. But I decided not to leave my hometown, because there were not many practitioners in our local area. There were about two or three hundred who had regularly participated in the Fa promotion before the suppression. After July 20, 1999, there were even fewer practitioners who would come out and openly defend Falun Dafa because of the tremendous pressure. I felt that I had a very important responsibility and that our local area needed me. Therefore, I decided to stay and validate Dafa in our local area. My decision to stay helped to stabilize the Dafa validation process for our area.

Before the crackdown, officials from the local security department had already started to harass us frequently. During certain important national events, we would be routinely detained and interrogated. Security agents would closely monitor our activities and eavesdrop on our telephone conversations. Our houses would be ransacked as well. We had to submit requests to the security office if we wished to leave town.

Later on, after we learned from Teacher's new articles that we should not cooperate with the evil forces and resist it actively, we realized that all this was part of the persecution and that we should not tolerate it. From then on, every time we met with the security agents, we would take the opportunity to tell them the facts about Falun Gong and about the benefits we had gained from practicing. At first, these security agents simply didn't want to listen to us. They didn't want us to talk about Falun Gong. Gradually, they began to listen and slowly they accepted some of what we told them. In time, they began to listen to our truth clarification carefully. They began to realize that practitioners were good citizens and good workers. They began to show respect toward us. These security agents also realized that the ongoing nationwide crackdown was a systematic persecution of Falun Gong and its practitioners. They started to think twice when carrying out their tasks, and they began to ignore the pressure from their superiors. They no longer followed orders as they did at the start of the persecution. Sometimes we talked to them until it was time to leave their office at the end of the day. One day I went to the public security department on personal business. The staff members there took it upon themselves to approach me and ask me about Falun Gong. They told me that they had also read some Falun Dafa books and didn't quite understand some issues, such as supernormal capabilities, the power of gong, and so on. I patiently answered their questions, and they were very satisfied with my explanations. I was even given a contact card and told to contact these public security officers whenever I ran into trouble.

Besides cultivating ourselves, we also frequently visited those practitioners who did not come out to validate Dafa. We would share our thoughts and exchange our understandings with them. We wanted to move forward as one body. Therefore, each and every practitioner needed to become a leader and instructor, and we cooperated very well. We had tried our best to accomplish our mission as practitioners during the Fa-rectification period.

I took the opportunity to clarify the truth during my job search. Whenever I was interviewed, I was always asked about my previous work unit, why I had left and so on. I would then rationally clarify the truth to those who were interviewing me. I would tell them how I had changed physically and mentally, how I try my best to be a good citizen by following the principles "Zhen-Shan-Ren," and how I had improved in the performance of my tasks. I would then tell them that because of my practice of Falun Dafa, I had lost my previous job, and I wanted them know that all those TV programs about Falun Gong, such as the "Tiananmen Square self immolation case," were lies and fabrications by the government. I would try my best to reach the compassionate side of these people, and I told them that I hoped they could overcome the pressure and stand up to learn the truth about Falun Gong.

Even though I was not hired, I was very happy at heart. I had clarified the truth to these people and therefore they had learned the truth about Falun Gong. I was pretty sure that, sooner or later, they would come to understand the persecution and make the right decision regarding Falun Gong. They could thus be saved. Throughout my job search, I clarified the truth to those who contacted me. When I was clarifying the truth to governmental departments, I would personally present the truth clarification material to the officials when the circumstances were right. Otherwise, I would mail or fax the documents to their offices or residences.

Throughout these years, I have visited many government agencies and municipal offices and clarified the truth. I had also visited many apartments, farmers' markets, and various communities to pass out CD's, flyers and posters. I always left the easy spots for passing out truth clarification materials to others, while I went to the more dangerous places. Each time, I passed out more leaflets and finished in a shorter time than anyone else. I would just spent a little bit of extra time or walk a little bit further from where I lived or try a little bit harder to find opportunities to distribute truth clarification materials. I kept reminding myself of the importance of the Fa-validation effort. My entire life revolved around the Fa-validation effort. I just wanted to grasp every possible chance to clarify the truth to people so that they could be saved.

Whenever fellow practitioners were arrested, we looked within. What problems were there within us? We found that most of the time fellow practitioners were arrested, it was due to some irrational thoughts or plans. We may have been negligent concerning security issues or we may have treated truth clarification as just an ordinary people's endeavor. We learned that it was not appropriate to pass out too many flyers at residential apartments, and we should not stay in one place for too long at any one time. Whenever we finished passing out the flyers, we needed to leave that area immediately. We also realized that we should always hold a pure mind during truth clarification and other Dafa efforts. We had to get rid of our fears and complacency as well. We needed to be clear-minded and rational when dealing with emergencies. With righteous thoughts and righteous acts, we accomplish each Dafa task well. We have become more and more rational and clear-minded in our Fa-validation efforts. We have matured.

Throughout these years, the evil forces have been interfering with me all the time, trying to cut me off from Fa-validation efforts or breaking me financially and making it hard for me to live decently. I lost my job at the beginning of 2000. I had one daughter living with me, and we depended on the money my husband sent home to us. Sometimes my husband would not call me for several months. My husband didn't come to visit for several years, and in the seven years since I started to practice Falun Gong, he has come back to see the family only once. There was a rumor that my husband already had a new family. I realized that it was yet another form of interference caused by the evil forces: they just wanted to break me. I simply ignore such interference, keep looking to the Fa for guidance, and try not to be moved by rumors or human attachments. I keep a firm belief in Falun Dafa.

I will completely negate any persecution coming my way and send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate every evil element. I will only follow the cultivation path that has been arranged for me by Teacher, and I firmly believe that Teacher cherishes us much more than we do ourselves. I am certain that all interference is temporary, that cultivating Dafa itself is precious, and that practitioners should not have difficulties making a living. I try my best to keep righteous thoughts and do righteous things, and I have managed to walk through one tribulation after another. I have genuinely come to understand what it is meant by "With no attachment to anything, The path underfoot is naturally clear" (Hong Yin II) (unofficial translation)

Posting date: 4/30/2005
Original article date: 4/29/2005
Category: Practitioners' Insights
Chinese version available at http://minghui.org/mh/articles/2005/4/7/98984.html

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