(Clearwisdom.net)
I had the good fortune of starting my cultivation in Falun Dafa in 1996. At the beginning, within a good cultivation environment I diligently cultivated myself. When other practitioners and I cultivated together, we helped each other by sharing and looking within; we improved very quickly. I used to suffer from many diseases, including tracheitis, gastritis, enteritis, vasculitis, being hyperosteogenic and chronic headaches. After practicing Falun Gong, all my diseases were naturally cured without any medication. My body was purified and I felt young again. What happened to me was a miracle, and I experienced the power of Falun Dafa firsthand.
On July 20, 1999, the persecution started. In the beginning, I still cultivated myself diligently and improved while validating the Fa. But little by little, my human attachments, laziness and pursuit of an easy life took over. The attachment of fear grew. Then, I studied the Fa less and rarely practiced the exercises. Because of the attachment of fear, I clarified the truth to fewer and fewer people. Righteous thoughts about assisting in Teacher's Fa-rectification and saving the sentient beings were disappearing. When sharing with other practitioners, they pointed out my attachments, but I did not heed their advice. I still thought hiding at home was the safest way to respond to the persecution.
Because I had more and more human attachments, and less and less righteous thoughts, I was suffering more tribulations. They came from family, work, the past and the present. While dealing with all these conflicts, I did not follow the Fa principle of looking inside and first correcting myself. I was confused and worried by those tests. In regards to Fa-rectification, I was falling further and further behind the standard for practitioners.
"If certain students can't manage to get rid of long-standing attachments inside themselves, they can be persecuted and interfered with. [They might think,] 'I've been doing the exercises, and my illnesses have been cured. I feel so good. My life has become easier.' Their understanding always remains at that level and they can't understand the Fa on the basis of the Fa, and that makes it easy for problems to come up." (Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York)
Finally, I incurred a physical tribulation due to my attachments, and the symptoms of semi-paralysis appeared.
I wrote this article to give my fellow practitioners a reminder by sharing the lesson I received. First, we should keep our thoughts righteous, diligently study the Fa and completely negate the old forces' arrangements. Second, we need keep up with the Fa-rectification and improve our understanding of the Fa. We should correct ourselves quickly in the Fa-rectification process and not allow the old forces to persecute us through our human attachments.
This is my personal experience and understanding. Please point out anything improper.
