(Clearwisdom.net)
I have always had a rather strong attachment to lust, which has bothered me a lot. I could not pass any of the tests of "lust" in my dreams. One day I dreamed I was lying in bed and saw a snake in my clothes on the right side of my body. I was not scared and only felt a little nauseous. I immediately picked up the snake and threw it away. Later I realized that this was the demon of lust. It was not a part of my body at all. It was only an evil specter outside of my body. If I take it as part of my body, it will try incessantly to place me under its control.
Teacher says in Lecture 6 of Zhuan Falun, "If you do not and will not think of them, your spouse will not think of them, either." I had been puzzled why, after cultivating for so long, I was unable to get rid of these thoughts. It seemed to me that I had always been thinking these thoughts. Now I have realized that these thoughts are not from me. They are from the evil specter. If I mistake it as me, it will continue its endless persecution.
The above is an understanding at my present stage. Due to my limited cultivation level, I encourage fellow practitioners to correct any of my improper understandings.
May 21, 2005
