Digging Out My Selfish Roots

(Clearwisdom.net) Recently, I noticed that my wife was becoming irritated whenever she looked at me. Yesterday, my father-in-law and my wife both said that I did not work hard to make life better. My wife directly pointed out that I was idle and sluggish. When she first began making these comments, I always argued. After a while however, I realized that Master was using her to give me some hints. After I calmed down, I knew that I must reflect upon my behavior.

The next morning, when the alarm clock woke me, my first thought was that I did not want to get out of bed. I used to get up at 3:40 a.m. to practice, but for a long time now, I have struggled to get up. Sometimes I even overslept. I had difficulty getting up and I clenched my teeth while finishing the two-hour practice. I remembered my wife's remark about my being idle and sluggish. I also remebered that when I was a child, adults often said that I was idle and sluggish. But I never admitted it. After cultivating and practicing Dafa, it seemed that I found an excuse, that being idle and sluggish is a manifestation of my not being attached to anything. I did not care about anything and I did not want to do anything. My mentality seemed to be deeply rooted in my bones. I practiced the exercises because I wanted to reach consummation. I clarified the truth because I wanted to have more sentient beings enter my celestial world and I wanted to establish mighty virtue for myself. However, I was not willing to suffer hardships. I became upset and angry if my relatives did not understand when I clarified the truth to them. I easily gave up if strangers did not understand the true facts I told them. When I clarified the truth, I always kept talking, not caring about the other person's responses. When I studied Fa, I felt annoyed if someone disturbed me! However, it was very likely that the person simply came to listen to the truth.

Master said in the scripture "Digging out the Roots,"

"I have long noticed that a few individuals do not have the heart to safeguard Dafa, but instead they intend to safeguard certain things in human society. If you were an everyday person I would have no objections--it is certainly good to be a good person who safeguards human society. But now you are a cultivator. From what standpoint you view Dafa is fundamental--this is also what I want to point out to you. During your cultivation practice, I will use every means to expose all of your attachments and dig them out at their roots." (from Essentials for Further Advancement)

Master said:

"Let's take man as an example: when it comes to crucial moments he truly couldn't care less about others. When I started Fa-rectification, some gods said to me, 'You're the only one who gets involved in others' business.' I know, you find this hard to believe, because you are altruistic beings created by Dafa who have roles in Fa-rectification and who are truly enlightened. If I didn't do that, with the end of history all lives would end. When a being is considerate of others in doing things and displays tolerance in the process, it's because his starting point is selfless." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")

On the surface, I also did the three things Dafa practitioners should do, but deep inside I was always selfish and validating myself. This kind of selfishness existed in my heart, and it did not conform to the requirement of the new cosmos. That was my root problem.

Master said:

"If you don't cultivate yourselves well you won't have mighty virtue, what you say will not be in line with the Fa, and then you can't possibly save sentient beings. When what you say has no mighty virtue and no power, it will have no effect, and the evil will capitalize on that. What's more, if you don't cultivate yourselves well and your righteous thoughts are lacking, when you handle certain things you will tend to slip into human ways of thinking, and then you won't be able to have the effect of saving sentient beings. A lot of ordinary people are helping Dafa disciples do things, as a matter of fact, but they are only ordinary people doing the things of Dafa disciples. You, on the other hand, are Dafa disciples. What you are doing are things you are supposed to do, and you are establishing your mighty virtue and moving towards Consummation on a divine path. So it will not work if you don't cultivate yourselves." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2005 Manhattan International Fa Conference")

After digging out my "selfishness," I no longer feel that practicing is tedious and difficult. I feel very relaxed. Finally, let us review Master's lecture:

"When Dafa cultivators find selfishness in themselves, they should gradually work to overcome it. Becoming aware of it means that you have taken another step forward in cultivation, because a non-practitioner can't become aware of it, and it doesn't occur to him to think about whether he is selfish. Only cultivators make a practice of examining themselves and looking within." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")

May 29, 2005

Chinese version available at http://minghui.org/mh/articles/2005/5/30/102946.html

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