Overcoming Fear

By a practitioner in China

(Clearwisdom.net) I would like to share my experience of overcoming fear, as an inspiration to fellow practitioners.

I started practicing Falun Gong shortly before Jiang Zemin and the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) announced the ban on Falun Gong on July 20, 1999. I knew Falun Gong was good, but I was a timid person to begin with. When the environment became hostile to Falun Gong, I became even more timid. I would tremble with fear whenever I saw a policeman or heard a police car approaching.

Teacher has taught us clearly in his articles that it is the mission of Falun Gong practitioners during the Fa-rectification period to step up and validate the Fa. In the beginning, I was very sly. I found ways to follow Teacher's Fa on the surface without taking any risks. To be more specific, I would clarify the truth about Falun Gong, but I would only do so under absolutely safe circumstances. On the surface, I had been doing the three things. I even told myself that I had been cultivating like a practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. However, the old forces saw very clearly that I had never tried to overcome my fear. It follows that I had not truly been cultivating myself. What happened next were a series of obstacles and costly lessons. Afterwards, I finally calmed down and asked myself for the first time, "What is the meaning of my existence? Whom am I living my life for? Is it the right thing, to cultivate?"

I arrived at the following conclusion: To cultivate under Teacher's guidance is the best decision I have ever made in my life. Teacher has specifically taught us what we should do. Other practitioners are able to truly follow the Fa. Why did I fail to do so? The root cause was my severe attachment to fear. Although I had the enormous fortune to become a Falun Gong practitioner, I had been pursuing my worldly desires for a long time. In other words, I have fundamental attachments. I stepped up for the Fa with human thoughts, so how could I be fearless?

After I discovered the root cause of my problem, I began to study the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts more before I resumed my truth-clarification work. At first I encountered a lot of psychological obstacles. Each time I went out to distribute truth-clarification materials, I was extremely nervous. I imagined all sorts of things that could possibly go wrong. In addition, the police started to monitor my phone calls and harassed me at home. On the surface it did appear that I was putting myself in a lot of danger. But I knew in my heart that, in one's cultivation practice, one must not back off at any time. I must rise to the occasion.

According to Teacher,

"As I've said, everything that happens today in the ordinary society is the result of Dafa disciples' thoughts." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")

First, I was convinced that my surroundings would change according to my thoughts and that these signs of danger were the result of my fear. I knew they were not real. Second, I decided that I must overcome fear because it is a bad substance. The only way to overcome my fear was to study the Fa. Thus I started memorizing the Fa even though I could memorize only a short passage at a time. In addition, I tried to keep righteous thoughts at all times and never allowed myself to compromise my righteous thoughts at any time. I tried to memorize the Fa and send forth righteous thoughts whenever I could find time. Whenever I started imagining what could go wrong, I would drive out the bad thoughts. Gradually, I stopped imagining things.

In the process of eliminating my fear, Teacher always protected me and gave me timely hints. Teacher also made the police's phone tapping and harassments fruitless. Once, I dreamed of Teacher holding my hand while we walked forward together. I knew it was Teacher's hint that I must not have fear, because Teacher is right beside me. Throughout the entire process, I knew very well in my heart that I was doing the right thing.

Now Teacher's Fa-rectification has progressed to the stage where it's time to eradicate the evil specter of the Communist Party. I studied Teacher's recent Fa lectures right away and read The Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. Thus, I understood the true evilness of the Chinese Communist Party specter from the bottom of my heart. I also identified that another source of my fear had been instilled by my education in the Chinese Communist Party's terrorism. I "erased the mark of the Beast" from myself and eliminated the traces of the CCP's poisonous culture from my heart. Afterwards, I felt fear slowly fading away.

I can now relate to what Teacher said in "Drive Out Interference:"

"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." (Essentials for Further Advancement)

I have been steadily doing the three things with confidence and much less fear. I have realized that it is an incomparably sacred mission to offer Teacher's salvation to the world's people. I have finally overcome my fear and taken a big stride forward on my journey of cultivation practice. However, I have fallen behind those fellow practitioners who maintained more righteous thoughts from the beginning. In my remaining cultivation practice, I must make the most of my time to do the three things better and become a more qualified Falun Gong practitioner in the Fa-rectification period!

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2005/6/30/105180.html

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