By Xin Yulian, Practitioner from Shandong Province, China

(Clearwisdom.net) Is it genuine cultivation?

I first began practicing Falun Dafa in the year 1997, so I should be considered a veteran practitioner. However, I have not kept up with my Fa study or practicing the exercises. Especially since the persecution began on July 20, 1999, with my attachment of fear, I dared not participate in Dafa activities in any meaningful way, all the time thinking that my uneventful life was because I had little karma and that I had cultivated well.

I could never get tranquil, as I was always busy with this or that, like household chores, or taking care of kids. I even thought that I was conforming maximally to society. Fellow practitioners said that I was selfish and paid too much attention to sentimentality, but I didn't agree, and thought that I was very diligent. But in fact, I was like what Teacher said, I held on to Godhood with one hand and to humanness with the other.

I even had brushes with the practitioners who printed Dafa materials. Sometimes I complained that the material did not come on time, sometimes that the words were too small, other times that the characters were not distinct enough, or the booklets were too large or too small, and so on. Anyway, I was always dissatisfied, and never thought about the hardships the practitioners at the material center had to endure.

It was about this time, a woman appeared at my house wanting to rent a room. I could tell from one glance that she was an upright person, with an air of extraordinariness and a compassionate face. I rented the room to her. It turned out that I was right. She is so honest, kind and understanding. She is a giver and never asks for anything in return, and she is also very tolerant. Once I went out together with her. Someone damaged her motorcycle and she was injured. But she said "I am O.K. You may go," and she had to have her motorcycle repaired out of her own pocket. I found that she was strict with herself on everything, and really conducted herself according to "Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance." From then on, we quickly established good communication. It turned out that she was the practitioner who volunteered to take responsibility for material preparation.

I saw her busy all day long printing materials, burning CDs, helping other practitioners set up material sites. She was so busy that she only had two meals a day and she led a very frugal life. I never saw her going to bed before midnight. She was often busy until two or three o'clock in the morning printing materials. Particularly when Teacher's new lectures were published, she would often be busy all night long. She was kept busy with Dafa work, yet she never neglected Fa study and practicing the exercises. This is really what Teacher said in HongYin(2),

"Rest momentarily for self-reflection, add righteous thoughts.

Analyze shortcomings explicitly, advance again whole-heartedly"

("Be Rational, Awaken," provisional translation subject to further improvement).

Compared with her, I realized that I lag far behind indeed. From then on, I persisted in Fa study and practicing the exercises.

Sometimes, I felt very tired at night after Fa-study. But on seeing her light still on, I forced my eyes open and continued my Fa-study. She also helped me make progress in understanding the Fa by speaking to me frankly. We compared in study and in cultivation and made progress. After studying the Fa more, I don't feel as tired. She saw that I had elevated my xinxing level and allowed me to be her helper.

Once we were printing Teacher's lecture. After having printed part of it, she let the machine cool down for a while. About half hour later, we resumed. But the machine would not advance the paper. Then, she started talking to the machine while repeatedly pushing the button, "You and me, although the jobs we do are different, all contribute positively in Fa rectification, and all fulfill our pledge and mission made before history. We must have righteous thoughts and righteous actions when saving sentient beings. Don't be controlled by any other beings." However, the machine didn't budge. She spoke in a more stern tone, "I let you rest for half hour. You should now do the work. Yet you stop working and don't do the right thing at all. You mustn't take my compassion as child play. Don't listen to anyone else. Just do well what Teacher told us to do. More importantly, you must not forget the real meaning of your existence."

While listening on the side, I thought to myself, the paper did not move because the machine had broken down. Would sending righteous thoughts work without repairing the machine? We tried together, with one pulling downward and the other feeding it, but the machine still would not run. She became anxious, and sat down with her legs crossed and her palm erect, and raised her voice sternly, "I let you have a rest for a while, am I wrong? So many practitioners are waiting for Teacher's lectures, is that my attachment? Listen to me, I spent good money on you, I chose you, and that is being kind to you. If you still don't get it, you will be in bad shape when I decide to give you up. I will now send righteous thoughts to help you eradicate the evil beings and factors that are manipulating you, and also the bad factors that are within yourself. But you must do a good job. Otherwise, I still have other ways to deal with you. To those evil beings and factors that interfere with Fa rectification, and the evil specter of the evil party, I will not be lenient until they are completely disintegrated and eradicated." Then, she recited the Fa-rectification verses.

Then, I saw her entire body, all the cells, and her thoughts all focused on the word "eliminated." And the sound of the word "eliminated" broke through the roof reaching the sky. I was enthralled by her righteous thoughts, and my mind was a total blank. Suddenly, paper on the machine fed through smoothly the very moment she recited the second "eliminated." Wow! It really expanded my mind, and I really believe the effect of righteous thoughts now.

Once we wanted to go out to distribute Truth-clarifying material. Upon opening the door, we saw several people playing around at our front door. She felt this would cause problems and said, "Let us send righteous thoughts to get them away from here." Within two minutes, they were all gone. If I did not see it with my own eyes, I would not have realized that righteous thoughts are so effective. Before, I always wondered what the Old Forces were, and where they were -- we could neither see nor touch them. So I did not paid too much attention to sending righteous thoughts. But now, I do, and miracles actually appeared. Once I saw that she worked so hard and did not have time to eat or sleep, I wanted to take some load off her. It was about May 10, and in order to let practitioners read Teacher's lecture as soon as possible, she worked nonstop until three o'clock in the morning before going to bed. I woke up at five o'clock and thought about doing something for her. But I didn't want to wake her up. Then I thought how great it would be if her door could be opened with one push. As I thought to myself, I pushed on the door and the door actually opened with a squeak. I thought that she didn't bolt the door last night and didn't think any more about it. When the practitioner woke up, she asked me how I could get in her room because the door was bolted. Then, I realized that it was my righteous thoughts that did it.

Another time, we went to purchase some food. After we loaded our cart and were about to leave, a mean looking policeman blocked our way not letting us leave, and was about to interrogate and search us. We glanced at each other and immediately started sending forth righteous thoughts, while on the surface seemingly ignoring him completely, and pushed our cart past him. The policeman stood there motionless and unable to open his mouth to question us. We got home safely.

There are many more miracles from our righteous thoughts and actions. In consideration of the fellow practitioner's safety, I shall not mention them.

Through these experiences, I start to understand the principle that when our thoughts are righteous, Master can enable us to overcome anything I share these experiences of mine hoping to encourage those practitioners who like me, are not as diligent as one could be. Only by studying the Fa more can our thoughts be righteous and can we do well the three things Teacher bestowed upon us to do.

Due to my minimal level of education and shallow understanding of the Fa, fellow practitioners, please point out anything improper.