(Clearwisdom.net) I began practicing Falun Dafa one year ago. Looking back to when I first started practicing, I cherish the special predestined relationship that our benevolent Master arranged for me.

I also have regrets. I'm a teacher. Approximately seven years ago, a student who left school because of fighting with others came to my office. Students are always welcome there. The student said, "Teacher, I will not fight any more." Then he gave me examples of how he controlled his urge to fight. I was a little surprised, "Very good. It's very good that you realized this yourself. This will be beneficial to everyone." He then asked me, "Do you know why I don't fight any more? It's because I started practicing Falun Gong." I hadn't heard about Falun Gong at that time. So he briefly explained some of the Fa principles. I was happy to hear this, but I didn't understand and completely accept it. I said, "It's definitely a good thing that you have given up fighting. Falun Gong seems good as well. But there are still some aspects that I can't completely accept." The student had only studied the Fa for a short time and wasn't able to convince me. I lost a good chance to obtain the Fa myself at that time.

After the persecution began on July 20, 1999, I heard that the student had been arrested. He came to visit me when he was released. I told him that I didn't understand him. I still remember his woeful look. He didn't say very much and left sadly. After that, he never visited me again. Once again, I had lost my chance to obtain the Fa.

Nevertheless, our great and benevolent Master still had not given up on me (while writing this, I wept). He continued arranging for me to obtain the Fa.

In 2004, I was struggling with psoriasis. Before then, I switched jobs and became a school principal. The new school is very close to where a Dafa disciple lives. During a conversation with him, I started doubting the decision made by the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) to eliminate Falun Gong. The Falun Dafa people I had met were all truly good people. I wanted to find the answer, plus the psoriasis was bothering me. So I decided to read Zhuan Falun - the best-selling book that had been banned by the CCP. I was thinking, "I have the capability to distinguish right from wrong. I won't be deceived." Now looking back, I was so ignorant and foolish. My heart was shaken after I read a couple dozen pages: "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance!" What are we teaching at school? Isn't it deceitful, wicked, and violent to be against "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance?" The CCP will put China beyond redemption. Within such a short period of time, how could the CCP trample thousands of years of educational content and the soul of moral education? Plus the deep explanation of more advanced science and theories all answered my questions that I would never have found if I had searched my whole life. I finished reading the whole book in two days. I totally understood what I should believe in and what I shouldn't... I almost missed the most important thing in my life. After doing some deep thinking about my life, I was determined to dive into the Fa. With the improvement of my mind, miracles started happening to my physical body. The "incurable" psoriasis disappeared quickly. I recovered in two weeks. I was amazed by the wonderfulness of Dafa and the evilness of the CCP - taking away the right of people to become healthy. I also regretted that I lost the chance again and again to obtain the Fa earlier. If it wasn't for the greatness and benevolence of our Master and the kindness of our Dafa disciples, I can't imagine the consequences for myself.

Later, as I studied the Fa more and more, the wonderfulness of Dafa was validated during the course of my cultivation and as I experienced various phenomena in my body. With the help of fellow practitioners, I'm catching up quickly with the pace of Fa-rectification. But in the mean time, lots of my weaknesses have emerged.

During the truth-clarification and Fa-validation, I once said to the fellow practitioners, "I feel that it's getting more and more political." That night, I suddenly realized and understood this special time period and Dafa disciples' special cultivation form that Master mentioned. Isn't the truth-clarification and saving sentient beings the special aspect of it?

If the CCP did not persecute Falun Gong, if they were not against "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance," if they did not frame and deceive the kindhearted practitioners, we wouldn't even need to clarify the truth. We are just using this form to clarify the truth, negate the persecution and negate the old forces' arrangements to make sentient beings aware of the truth so they can be saved. But I thought we were involved in politics. Quitting the CCP is not political. The reason I had that thought was because I didn't study the Fa well and I didn't fully understand the Fa principles. Could there be some fear as well? An attachment of fear that I didn't even realize! I then remembered a story that Master told in Zhuan Falun:

"There once was a person who became an Arhat after much effort in cultivation. As he was just about to attain Right Fruit in cultivation and become an Arhat, how could he not be happy? He was going to transcend the Three Realms! Yet this excitement is an attachment, an attachment of elation. An Arhat should be free of attachments, with a heart that cannot be affected. But he failed, and his cultivation ended up in vain. Since he failed, he had to start all over again. He resumed his cultivation, and after much painstaking effort he again succeeded in his cultivation. This time he became scared and reminded himself in his mind: 'I shouldn't get excited. Otherwise, I'll fail again.' With this fear, he failed again. Fear is also a kind of attachment."

This means that both happiness and fear are attachments that we need to eliminate during cultivation. The cultivation form of our Dafa disciples includes completely eliminating attachments. Good opportunities exist for us to eliminate our attachment to fear. These include: 1. Studying Dafa in a country ruled by a party of autocrats, dictators and evil. 2. Facing the extensive rumor-mongering propaganda and yet still clarifying truth to Chinese people who were infused with vicious and twisted notions for dozens of years. 3. Facing the risk of persecution and betrayal by people who don't know the truth, and yet still trying to save sentient beings. These are all good opportunities for us to eliminate our attachment to fear to the maximum extent.

Of course, we negate the persecution. We can get rid of all of our attachments in the process of eliminating the persecution. I believe that Dafa disciples will not be able to consummate if they have even a tiny bit of fear. This kind of cultivation environment and form will help dig out deeply the root of different attachments accumulated during our different lives. I think many of the attachments are connected to each other. The elimination or keeping of even one attachment might directly or indirectly affect other attachments. If one can't get rid of fear completely, it might make it hard to get rid of the attachment of happiness. When I realized this, I asked myself: Shouldn't we get rid of this deeply hidden and broadly affected attachment to fear? Finally, I totally understood that this is an opportunity that Master gave us to cultivate ourselves steadfastly, and to build our mighty virtue. Shouldn't we thank our Master from the bottom of our hearts for this? How could I feel "We were getting involved in politics"? I almost let the communist evil specter take advantage of my loophole.

Let's all strive forward, firmly believe in Master, and firmly believe in Dafa. Let's use our cultivated benevolence to save more and more sentient beings. Don't be discouraged or angry if the sentient beings don't understand or sneer at us. While we negate the old forces' arrangements, isn't this also our opportunity to cultivate ourselves? Aren't the attachments to happiness, fear, and anger all attachments we need to abolish? There is no attachment that we can't eliminate. There is only the human sentimentality that we don't want to give up.

Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.

Posting date: 7/7/2005
Original article date: 7/6/2005
Category: Practitioners' Insights
Translated on 6/27/2005
Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2005/6/21/104526.html

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