(Clearwisdom.net) I am a young Falun Dafa practitioner in Mainland China. I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1997. At that time my thoughts were relatively pure. Having studied Falun Dafa, I understood more about how to be a good person. Therefore, according to Master's requirements, I considered others first, and was strict with my own cultivation practice. Many people praised me for being a good young person with wisdom.
In July 1999, the evil persecution started in Mainland China. The evil ran rampant throughout Heaven and Earth, with the goal to affect nothing less than the extinction of Falun Gong practitioners. In one day, many Dafa disciples were imprisoned for no reason. I didn't escape, even though I was an upstanding young person who was publicly recognized by people. When I was arrested, my mother and elder brother had already been illegally imprisoned. My father, (a very amiable, respected middle-school teacher) who was a non-practitioner, was devastated. He had no alternative than to collect money, and seek the help of relatives to bring me home.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed that so many good people, who practiced "Zhen-Shan-Ren" (Truth-Compassion-Forbearance) would suddenly become prisoners. Because my study of the Fa was not advanced, I did not understand the deeper principles behind the Fa. Within a short period of imprisonment my righteous belief in Dafa seemed to have vacillated a little. I went out to hunt for temporary jobs in despair and confusion. Laborers came from all over the country. In the workplace, initially I could still maintain my good character, but after some time I could not resist enticements from my more worldly colleagues any more; my psychological defense had collapsed. I forgot the Fa in my mind. From that time on, I started to accept invitations from colleagues to indulge in smoking, drinking, and playing cards. They even invited me to go to very dirty places.
Sometimes I would still recall the Fa; and once in a while I even thought of Master. When I was seriously thinking of Master I started to realize that I was falling downward, and felt that my behavior had damaged the Fa. The vulgar temptations in the world had destroyed me. Gradually I became somewhat silent. Recalling the inhuman suffering in jail, remembering that my mother and elder brother were still being persecuted by the evil, and that my poor father was still standing up for us and still paying off financial debts for us, I could not help shedding tears!
One day, one thought suddenly flashed through my heart: "I must practice!" Feeling ashamed, I summoned the words from the bottom of my heart: "Master, I want to practice!" But I was afraid that Master did not want me. Because I had not studied the Fa for a long time, I had no Fa in my heart to guide me. I felt helpless for a while, and the pressure was tremendous. During that time, my mother came to see me from a thousand miles away. I was delighted, and we immediately exchanged and shared experiences with each other. After much consideration, I felt it was Master's benevolence that provided me with my Mother's prompt help. Suddenly I was truly awakened, and immediately felt that my body was light.
I returned to the mighty current of Fa-rectification again, and also returned to the compassionate bosom of Master! When I decided to return to the righteous state with Master's Fa, those old forces, the evil behind-the-scenes manipulators, and rotten ghosts that had hindered and disturbed me, were frightened and immediately fled to escape my righteous field.
To encourage fellow practitioners who might have been similarly led astray, I have shared this piece of my journey. Please mercifully point out any improper understandings.
September 01, 2005
