By a Dafa Disciple from China

(Clearwisdom.net) Both my wife and I practice Falun Dafa. However, when we have disputes, the arguments suddenly become very intense. We have a lot of arguments, and thus I have come to understand some principles in that aspect. I want to talk about it and hope that it will be of some help for everyone.

I never saw my wife as being good enough. She did not do the three things Master asked us to do well. When she studied the Fa, she slept, when she sent forth righteous thoughts, she slept, and when she clarified to the truth, she was afraid. Because she was my wife, my attitude was not generally like what it would be toward fellow practitioners. Very often, my mood would manifest, negatively influencing the results of the help I gave. Afterwards I enlightened to the fact that she was first a practitioner, then a family member. When she was not diligent, I treated her like a common fellow disciple and used compassionate reminders. Family members should have more of these chances to do so, and strive forward together. However, I should not use sentiment and unreasonableness to force my own standard to evaluate her.

After continuous trial and error, we have overcome countless methods of interference. Now, she has begun to attend Fa study groups, and by doing so her studying the Fa every day has been guaranteed.

2. Eliminating the Influences of the Communist Party Culture

My wife had an irritable temperament. If something happened, she might remain upset for three days. In order to feel better, she must let out the pressure held up in her heart.

In my heart I was extremely tormented by this. I wondered how her temperament could be controlled. I tried many different methods. Sometimes when she became upset, I intentionally opposed her. I then tried being even fiercer than she was, just to see if that would control her or not. It seemed that she was no longer so fierce, however my demonic nature was fully exposed. I know I cannot use evil to govern evil.

One day I suddenly thought of Master's Fa,

When we had problems, wasn't my first thought to control her, and make her listen to me? For her part, she was the same. At first she said that she wasn't like that before, but then she realized that if she didn't get angry, she couldn't control the other person. She got used to that form of behavior. Living in the evil Party's culture, we've been poisoned so deeply.

Master said in "Clearheadedness," from Essentials for Further Advancement,

Only the Fa can make people change, not the evil spirits' methods of control.

I have become enlightened to this. We have since become harmonious with each other.

August 21, 2005

Posting date: 9/22/2005
Original article date: 9/22/2005
Category: Practitioners' Insights
Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2005/8/22/108902.html

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