By Yu Qing

(Clearwisdom.net) In November of 2005, while a diligent practitioner was at work, a steam pipe close to her started leaking and boiling water amidst hot steam soaked her clothes. This caused severe burns on large areas of her arms, legs, posterior, and hips. After three days, the burns were largely healed, and the healed skin looked as healthy as before, and it did not show a single trace of a scar.

When I saw this kind of miracle, it is understandable that as a new practitioner I was excited and zealous. I also had an attachment to zealotry, which is truly shameful. Teacher tells us a story in Zhuan Falun which says:

"There once was a person who became an Arhat after much effort in cultivation. As he was just about to attain the Right Fruit in cultivation and become an Arhat, how could he not be happy? He was going to transcend the Three Realms! Yet this excitement is an attachment, an attachment of elation. An Arhat should be free of attachments, with a heart that cannot be affected. But he failed, and his cultivation ended up in vain".

Actually, no matter if one is a new practitioner or a veteran practitioner, starting from the time when one initially comes across Dafa, many miracles will occur. For example, a stubborn illness which lasted many years miraculously disappears, or other amazing things occur. Isn't this quite normal for Dafa disciples who are walking on the path to godhood? But I am using human notions to view these things. When I carry those human notions when I save sentient beings and clarify the truth to people, I secretly start to have an attachment to showing off -- see how miraculous we cultivators are! But, doing things with an attachment reduces the power of even the most sacred actions.

When evil interferes with and persecutes us, their excuse is that we have attachments that we need to get rid of. Therefore, our fellow practitioner bore her burn wound and bore the pain in order to distribute truth clarification materials and save sentient beings. When she came back, her arms and hands were swollen. After two new practitioners and I saw this we asked, "How come that happened? It isn't supposed to happen! This fellow practitioner did well! How come the wound got worse?" When I saw this practitioner I asked her, "What was your first thought before you went out to distribute materials?" She said, "After I finished distributing materials and came back, it was much better. It was the fourth day after the accident, but when I had this thought it didn't seem right. So, when I was distributing materials I thought that I am not doing this in order to have my wounds heal faster, nor am I trying to obtain virtue, I am just trying to save sentient beings." This practitioner thus assimilated herself to the Fa.

As for myself, I only now realized that when I encounter something my first reaction is to look for faults in others. Through the entire incident, this practitioner had already assimilated herself with the Fa, but I still was not able to discover my own attachment. I now realize that it was the result of notions, the notion of doing things conditionally.

"In providing salvation to humankind, the Buddha School does not attach any condition or seek returns, and it will help unconditionally." (Zhuan Falun).

My condition was that when I do good things I must be rewarded. To be specific, it was our human notions that added to the burden of the fellow practitioner's pain, making her wounds heal slower, thus interfering with saving sentient beings.

Later on, this practitioner realized that her family members did not understand her. She was also afraid that her family would incur karma due to not understanding Dafa and not respecting Teacher. Various attachments to qing caused her to have such thoughts which made her feel very bitter and very tired. I also had such thoughts. As soon as this thought occurred, it truly made me feel very tired and I was not able to breathe. I also could not even continue to send forth righteous thoughts. Wasn't that caused by my human notions? As I write this article, I have just understood that the fellow practitioner asked me to help her write her experience sharing article, and I realized that I have the same attachment as this fellow practitioner. I even have attachments that she doesn't have. I didn't even realize that she had improved. She was speeding ahead on the road of Fa -rectification, and I was moving forward slowly; the distance between us is huge.

There is more. Normally, when practitioners in my area have trouble, they always like to discuss their issues with me because they think that I study the Fa well. Actually, I only know a few more characters than the other practitioners do, nothing more. But in my heart, I felt good about myself. Even though I don't do so well in some areas, but through sharing I am able to help other practitioners and that is good as well! Actually, even when I do help other practitioners, it is not due to my own merits! I am simply viewing others from the Fa and it was Teacher who was using my mouth to point out issues to other practitioners as well as to myself. Other practitioners enlightened, but I was not able to put myself in the same situation. When I am saving sentient beings, I sometimes lack righteous thoughts, become lazy, or seek comfort. I cannot even finish the five exercises every day, and I am not able to be steadfast either. I also compare my strengths with the weakness of other practitioners and feel proud of myself. Yet I do not use the standards of the Fa at different levels in order to evaluate myself.

As I write this article I feel extremely regretful. So it was arranged by Teacher that this fellow practitioner asked me to help her write her experience sharing article. In the beginning, I wrote this article from the perspective of that practitioner, but what I wrote didn't seem right, and somehow it did not flow. Through studying the Fa and sharing with other practitioners, I tried to find the shortcomings from other perspectives, but it still did not work. Finally, I found the true main topic. This process actually was forcing me to find my own attachments and write about myself. Now at the end of this article, I understand Teacher's compassionate heart.

Teacher please don't worry, I will quickly catch up. I will not disappoint Teacher and the sentient beings who are counting on me.

Thank you Teacher for your compassionate protection! Thank you fellow practitioners for all your help!

Posting date: 1/18/2006
Original article date: 1/17/2006
Category: Practitioners' Insights
Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2006/1/3/117916.html

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