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It Is Really a Blessing to Be Teacher's Disciple
By Qinghe
(Clearwisdom.net) I am a teenage Falun Dafa practitioner. My mother is
also a practitioner. When the persecution of Falun Gong started, I was very
young and could hardly understand what was going on. My mother went to Beijing
to protest the persecution and tell the facts about Falun Gong to other people.
My father is a policeman and could not endure the pressure. He divorced my
mother and sent her away. I live with my policeman father and my stepmother. I
am firm in my cultivation and the saving of sentient beings, but I had a
fundamental attachment deep in my heart. It tormented me so much that I could
hardly stand it sometimes. My dad is deeply influenced by the communist party's education. He has a very
bad temper and often orders me about or interrogates me. I disliked him. I used
to be very afraid of him. Now I pity him and must constantly remind myself that
I am his only hope for the future. My stepmother always complains that we do not
have enough money. Her face changes whenever I mention money. She gives me very
little. I get so upset with my stepmother's behavior, because I know my mother
pays them enough money for my living expenses and school tuition. I have too many attachments. I try not to feel angry or helpless when I get
upset. I try to calm down and read the Fa peacefully. I believe if I choose to
do the right thing, everything will be resolved eventually. It is easier said
than done. I thought I was being persecuted only because I firmly practiced
Falun Dafa, so I always felt that I was living under somebody else's roof in my
own home. My family seemed to be in the shadow of terror. Gradually, I became
very cautious and hardly spoke or listened to them. I truly felt exhausted. My
mind would be clear after I studied the Fa or had a discussion with my mother.
Then I would have the righteous thought that great compassion can change all
these things. I tried to improve the environment again and again. I still could
not change it completely. I didn't know what the problem was. I cried many
times, asking Teacher for the answer. I really wanted to do better. The situation continued until school break. The house needed renovation, so I
was able to live with my mother for a month. My mother's place is simple. She
uses the money she saves to help more people. I would become impatient and upset
when I couldn't go home to change clothes when I wanted. I discovered my
attachment to living comfortably. My mom realized it immediately and told me
that I had to remove this kind of attachment. I read the Fa and did the exercises freely. The peace and freedom of mind and
body was beyond words. However, I still had one concern deep in my heart. I
wanted to be close to my mom, but I was afraid. I thought, "As fellow
practitioners we should let go of our sentiment for each other." I was
afraid the old forces would use our sentiment for each other to persecute us. My
mother is responsible for a truth clarification material site, and
we had been apart for so long. This has always been a concern and a worry of
mine. I know that problems must be exposed when they are realized. I told my mom about my concern. She said, "The mother and child
relationship is the dearest relationship that gods give to human beings. It is
the nature of life. We should be even closer, because we are fellow
practitioners. We would be living together now if not for the persecution. As
your mother, it is my responsibility to take care of you and raise you. It is
against nature for mother and daughter to be distant from each other. I had a
dream in which Teacher asked me to take good care of you. As practitioners, we
should follow the course of nature. Don't fear this or that. We haven't been
together for more than five years and this is an opportunity that Teacher has
kindly given to us. I am truly thankful." My mom's words removed another
hard attachment. I realized it was the old forces and the dark minions using my
fear to interfere with us. They couldn't stand us being more diligent in
cultivation. After I understood this, it never troubled me again. A few days later the renovation was finished. It was time for me to leave. I
was not troubled, because I knew that my mom's heart is always with me, no
matter where I go. I was welcomed home by my dad and stepmother. There was an unfamiliar
coldness coming from them. While I unpacked my things, my mind pondered my
stepmother's smirk and the cold feel of the house. I knew this was only an
illusion. No matter how bad they treat me, I know they are under the influence
of evil. The purpose was to make me give up on them. Then what will happen to
them? Teacher once said that only practitioners are in the leading role today. What
we think matters. I am sure I can change all this. I sat down at the table and
told my stepmother, for the first time in my life, that I liked her cooking. I
told them some of the interesting things that happened in school. My dad and my
stepmother smiled. At that moment, I truly experienced the kindness of the real people behind
the cold masks. They both said that the house was different without me and that
the laughter had returned to the house with me. I helped clean the table and do
the housework after dinner as usual, but this time with a different attitude. I
genuinely want what is the best for them and treat them as my family. Before, I
didn't care. The ice started to slowly melt and be replaced by warmth. At that moment, I realized why I could not achieve this before. It was
because I treated them as part of the persecution. I blamed them for separating
me from my mother. I hated them and I was shocked by that hatred. How
frightening it was. How could I hold compassion for them with such hatred? I am really thankful for the month I had with my mother. Teacher's
arrangement helped me understand tolerance, compassion, caring for family, and
how to be a good daughter. I am so grateful. I am more mature now, and I have
realized many of my fundamental attachments. In the process of recognizing and removing my fundamental attachments, I no
longer passively accept things. I know I am here for their good and they should
know it, too. Every night at eight and nine o'clock, I send forth righteous
thoughts to eliminate the evil elements that prevent them from understanding the
truth, from practicing the Fa, and from understanding the true nature of the
communist party. I show them with my actions how virtue can create a righteous
culture for the future. I know they are changing as the evil continues to
weaken. During the course of cultivation, I felt helpless, I felt confident, I had
too many attachments, I was diligent, I felt lost, I had regrets, but I also
felt true happiness. I overcame attachments and passed tests with Teacher's help
and protection. I know Teacher always has faith in his disciples. It is truly a
blessing to be Teacher's disciple. |