(Clearwisdom.net) I used to be a person who easily became afraid. When I started practicing Falun Gong in the latter half of 1998, I knew in my mind that the Fa was very precious, but I was not diligent. After Jiang's regime started persecuting Falun Gong, because of fear and other attachments, I caved in to the pressure and did not validate Falun Gong in an open and dignified manner. I only read the Falun Gong books at home by myself.
In 2000, the publication of Master's several articles awakened me, and I started to come out to validate Falun Gong. On December 30, 2000, for going to Beijing to validate Dafa, I was sentenced to two years of forced labor and detained at the Hehuakeng Forced Labor Camp of Tangshan City. The persecution was brutal. As I had not clearly understood the principles of the Fa, I passively endured the persecution and did not study the Fa well. I succumbed to the persecution but later declared my actions to be void. I succumbed again, and again declared my actions to be void. I felt that I was about to have a mental collapse. One day I heard a practitioner talk about Master's words in "Touring North America to Teach the Fa," about how some practitioners, when persecuted severely, could not remember to call for Master's help, but instead cried out, "Mom!" I was deeply touched and decided that I would call out for Master in case of severe persecution.
One time the labor camp held a general meeting. Guard Li Xiaodong slandered Master with vicious words in the meeting. Five fellow practitioners and I shouted out, "Falun Dafa is Great!" to resist the evil. For this, we were locked in small cells. My hands were cuffed and my feet were tied with electric wires, spread-eagle on a bed. A hatchet man jumped onto the bed and kicked the inner sides of my thighs with his heel. When I could not bear the heart piercing pain any longer, I cried out "Master" for help. As soon as I shouted out, my right handcuff suddenly opened and the air seemed to coagulate; every sound suddenly stopped. The hatchet man squatted at the end of the bed, as if he had been struck by lightning. He then got off the bed and ran out of the room, still badly shaken. Half an hour later, the hatchet man did not want to give up, he dashed into the room and jumped onto the bed and continued to beat me. I shouted out for Master again. This time, the electric wire tying my left foot loosened and my left handcuff opened at the same time. The hatchet man squatted down on the bed trying to tie up the electric wire. Then the guard of the small cell impatiently drove him out and told him not to come and beat people anymore.
After this experience, I was greatly inspired and I became much bolder in Fa validation.
After July 20, 2004, the police desperately searched for and arrested the practitioners who had become homeless to avoid being persecuted. They strictly interrogated and examined the people who were renting. One day the police dashed into the yard where I was renting. They asked the people who were renting to show their personal documents and interrogated them one by one. I was washing my clothes in the yard. At that moment, there were a total of four people in the yard including me, and I was the only practitioner there. I was startled and did not know what to do. At that moment, a fellow practitioner's words echoed in my ear, "Master will help." I felt that a field of energy rose from the ground and surrounded me like a thick wall. I calmed down, and, without raising my head, I continued washing my clothes. After the police examined the other three people, they looked at me and one of them said, "He is the owner." They did not ask me any questions and left a short while later.
About two days later, while I was in my room, the police came into the yard to make interrogations again. There was a personal computer and many materials in my room, so I became very anxious. I did not sit in the lotus position, but I sent forth righteous thoughts by the bed, focusing on not letting the police in. I felt that my thoughts weren't strong enough but I kept it up regardless. In my mind I kept asking for Master's help. The were only four rooms in the yard. The police searched the other three rooms but left without even looking at mine.
After being destitute and homeless for more than a year, I returned to the mine and started my work there again. I knew that saving lives was my mission. I did not do well clarifying the truth and was still anxious and afraid. Afterwards I thought about how Master had protected me time and again. The Fa that Master teaches is the truth, and the more we follow it, the safer we are. With Master's protection there is nothing to be afraid of!
This way I was a lot more courageous. I wanted to give it a try. My employer is a large-scale coal mine. In the staff changing room, there are several thousand people taking showers. I then started speaking the truth loudly in the changing room when I went to work and when I got off work every day. At the beginning, I was only brave enough to say "Falun Dafa is Great!" and "The Tiananmen self-immolation is a fabrication and a lie." Several days later, I was courageous enough to say four sentences. Several months later I could fluently speak about my personal cultivation experiences and the persecution I had experienced, as well as all the truth that I had learned. During all of this, the 610 Office personnel and security personnel of the mine came to talk to me. I was able to deal with them with reasoning and justice and nothing became of it.
When the 2005 lunar calendar new year was drawing near, my fellow worker told me, "The new year is here and the authorities have tightened the investigation. You 'd better stop talking." I wanted to prove to them that practitioners are protected by heavenly beings, and that even under the evil pressure during the new year's season, clarifying the truth is still safe. But I felt very intense pressure. I sincerely asked for Master's help to let me clarify the truth until the third day into the lunar new year. As a result, I was still safe and sound when the third day of the lunar new year arrived.
On the fourth day I spoke of the truth again, but because of my zealotry, the evil took the advantage of that attachment. Someone had reported me to the authorities. At about 9:00 a.m. the personnel from the police department, the political security section, and some police officers lead several policemen to arrest me. Because I did not cooperate with them, they had to carry me. On the way out, I shouted to expose their evil acts and the people in the buildings by the road all looked on, which embarrassed several policemen.
At that moment, even though my attachment of fear was reflecting intensely, my main consciousness was very strong. I told myself that I must do it well and Master would help me. During that period, all kinds of thoughts which were not good reflected in my mind and I found that I was very dirty, pursuing comfort, attached to my family, work and wife, fearing pain. All kinds of attachments had very intense reflections in my mind. With such strong attachments I could be persecuted by the evil, but at that moment I clearly knew that I should not be persecuted. Nonetheless, the various bad thoughts made me feel ashamed. Although I knew how to validate Dafa better in that kind of environment, I felt that I could not achieve it, and my mind was filled with thoughts of asking Master to help me go home. Later I realized that I should do my best at what I should do, and then ask for Master's help.
After arriving at the security division, the police were very polite to me. Even though I was in my work uniform that was covered with greasy dirt, I was invited to sit on the sofa. I noticed that no police officers were willing to interrogate me. A tall policeman came first. When I told him that I knew him he left right away. Later they found a detective to interrogate me. He asked what I had done. I told them that I had clarified the truth. At that time I had a chance to tell them the truth as well. They wanted to write down what I said. I told them that if they wanted to listen to the truth I would tell them, but if they wanted to write down what I said I would not say anything.
My body is quite sensitive. It was probably that the fellow practitioners outside had learned that I had been arrested, and they were sending forth righteous thoughts to help me. I felt that one after another cluster of energy came in, and one after another cluster of black substances were eliminated, and my body felt relieved. At about 1:00 in the afternoon, the police let me go home to eat.
I stabilized my mind after some time and started clarifying the truth again. I was even more courageous and the attachment of fear was further eliminated. With the progress of clarifying the truth, the environment was getting better and better. According to inside information, there was no report about me and even if someone did report me, without pressure from the authorities, no one would pay any attention to it.
A while ago, the chief of the Party was coming to our area, and my thoughts were disturbed significantly. I was thinking of pausing in my truth clarification for a few days to avoid being persecuted. I knew in my mind that the thought was wrong and I should not be afraid of an ordinary person. After several days of thinking, I decided to continue clarifying the truth during that period, and my clarifying the truth gave the people a big shock. They could see with their own eyes that even when the head of the evil came, Dafa practitioners kept up with their truth clarification and were still safe. They would also then became more courageous. I then strengthened my Falun Gong book reading and sending forth righteous thoughts, and I continued clarifying the truth until the evil head left. I remained safe and my truth clarification was not interrupted.
My experience in cultivation is that as long as I can remember at any time that I am a Dafa practitioner, as long as I can remember Master and Dafa - even if I can only remember one phrase of Dafa at a critical moment and strengthen myself--it is sufficient for me to pass the tribulation. My attachment of fear is sometimes very strong. Even now, when there is persecution of Dafa practitioners, my mind is disturbed and I am still not able to do as well as other practitioners in clarifying the truth naturally, and distributing materials to save lives on a large scale. However, unlike at the beginning when I could barely speak two sentences before I ran away, I am now able to clarify the truth well. I have also distributed several thousand copies of truth clarifying CDs, flyers, and other materials.
October 6, 2006
