(Clearwisdom.net)

I have practiced Falun Gong for 11 years, I want to share some of my experiences during my cultivation. Please point out anything inappropriate.

I had a fairly strong attachment to lust, and this trial had been interfering with me. One day in the winter of 2000, I read a book at a bookstore that had many unhealthy descriptions. After I read them, my desire of lust flared up. After I went back to my dorm, I kept recalling some of the details from that book, and my desire of lust kept flaring up. At that time, because I was studying other subjects for school, I hadn't studied the Fa for a long while, and my mind-intent was like that of ordinary people. When the desire of lust popped up, I suddenly realized that this was an attachment. Therefore, for the first time in a long time I took out Zhuan Falun and started reading Lunyu. After a short while, I fell asleep.

After midnight, a sinister wind blew in my dorm windows and woke me up. The wind turned into clustered, very condensed substance and landed on my quilt. I sat up and saw in front of me a chilly, dark, clustered substance. I then felt a chill in my ear and understood that the substance was talking to me. It mimicked Teacher's voice and said: "Don't say anything, don't say anything." Even though it sounded like Teacher, my main consciousness clearly told me that it wasn't. I knew that it was a vicious and evil substance. I also understood that it was because of my awakened desire of lust that it wanted to come close to me. I also clearly knew that I was a human being. How could I have anything to do with this kind of substance? Fear made me close my eyes tightly, I recited Teacher's name in my heart, with the hope that Teacher would protect me. I was reciting: "Falun Dafa is good, Falun Dafa is a righteous Fa." While calling Teacher's name in my heart, I was worried that, since I had stopped practicing for six months, Teacher might not take care of me. All of a sudden, the sound of a Falun rotating began to play by my ears. It sounded very powerful. This lasted for a minute or two. When the Falun stopped rotating, I sat up and realized that that dirty substance had disappeared. I understood that the Falun had smashed and eliminated it.

The clear bright moonlight shone into my room, making it very bright. It was serene and peaceful, as if nothing had happened. But I clearly understood that what just happened was not a dream: the sound of Falun rotating was clear. At that time, I truly wanted to shout: "Believe in Falun Dafa, believe in Teacher, everything Teacher says is true, Falun Dafa is true!" I could clearly feel a Falun rotating above my head. I had clearly seen that blackish substance and heard it mimicking Teacher's voice to talk to me. I knew that everything that had just happened was real. It was Teacher who saved me again. At that time, in order to prepare for a Ph.D admission exam, I hadn't studied the Fa or done the exercises for over half an year, but Teacher didn't give up on me. Instead, he was beside me to protect me. I was moved to tears, and I told myself: "I will study the Fa well and do the exercises; otherwise I will let down our great and benevolent Teacher."

After I finished my postgraduate studies, I became a Ph.D candidate. Because I had been reported on by someone before I graduated, my family had to use some connections in order to have me released. Therefore, when I was studying as a Ph.D candidate, I had a lot of fear. Five years after I graduated, I still didn't have enough courage to step forward. In addition, because I was not diligent enough in studying the Fa and doing the exercises, I gradually became no different than an ordinary person. However, Teacher never gave up on me. During those five years, whenever I lied a little or did anything that didn't conform to a practitioner's standard, I received retribution right away. Therefore, even though during the past five years my mind-intent had been similar to that of an ordinary person's, I didn't dare commit a bad deed. Now I understand that Teacher had been taking care of me.

Lately, with fellow practitioners' help, I have returned to the path of cultivation. A few days ago, a fellow practitioner said to me, "You have wasted your time for so many years. Now, even though you feel like cultivating again, it will be difficult for you to get to the level you were at before." (Note: A practitioner should cultivate his/her speech) After I heard this, I was depressed, and I felt a lot of pressure in my heart. One day as I was taking an afternoon nap, I dreamed that, because I hadn't worked hard enough, even though I was close to graduating, I hadn't finished my paper. A person handing me a book, and I saw that it required five chapters for my paper, but I had only completed one chapter. Even so, I understood that I had written other chapters before, which I only needed to edit for content, and then I would be alright. After I calculated the time left, I realized that, as long as I worked diligently enough, I would be able to finalize my paper before my graduation.

After I woke up, I was all excited. In order to encourage me, our benevolent Teacher enlightened me in my dream. I came to understand the fact that "the chapters that I had written before" referred to what I had done prior to 2001, when I was very diligent and cultivated solidly. For those chapters that I hadn't written or didn't write very well, they were the Three Things that I need to do well in the future.

Benevolent Teacher has never given up on me, a person that hasn't done well in cultivation. He has been protecting me, caring for me, and encouraging me. Teacher, thank you for your benevolence and for saving me. Thank you, great Teacher! Teacher, I am determined to cultivate solidly, and I am determined to do the Three Things well. What happens in the human world is just as transient as a fleeting cloud. In my future cultivation, when it comes to passing the trial and improving my mind-intent, I will hold myself to the standards of a practitioner for sure. I mean to cultivate diligently and strive forward. I will do the Three Things that Teacher has asked us to do well!