(Clearwisdom.net) Due to a fellow practitioner passing away recently and his behavior beforehand, I have realized the seriousness of looking within.
The practitioner was steadfast in his Fa belief and had good understandings of the Fa. He could usually point out the key issues in complicated situations or problems. Other practitioners agreed that his level was pretty high and liked to share with him. These factors, besides his own pride, could have enlarged his feelings of superiority and tendency to look down on those who had not done as well as he. This heart of his manifested from time to time, but he never paid attention to it, even though it was pointed out to him.
Early this year, he had some symptoms of illness, which became more serious and later appeared to be cancer symptoms. However, he kept denying this interference with strong righteous thoughts so that the cancer symptoms all disappeared over time. When sharing with fellow practitioners, he often mentioned that only he could have gone through this tribulation and others would have failed and passed away. Also, he liked to pick at other practitioners' shortcomings, and expressed his disappointment with them. His behavior obviously embodied his heart of showing off and zealotry. Teacher said that,
"The desire to show off plus the attachment of zealotry are most easily exploited by the demonic part of your mind." ("Definitive Conclusion" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Later his illness symptoms recurred and became worse, and he was confused why even righteous thoughts did not help. In a later sharing with fellow practitioners, he recognized that looking within was the first thing that needed to be done, and recognized why he had experienced the interference and what his omissions were. Fellow practitioners also helped him look for the sources of his problems: 1) He was over protective of his family members. He got upset if others criticized them and was unable to see things objectively. 2) He had some strong notions acquired in his everyday life and liked being a leader. If others did not follow his requirements, he not only got angry but also required them to apologize and even write an apology letter (this was very much influenced by the Chinese Communist Party's customs). 3) He looked down on those practitioners who had not done as well as he and was picky about meeting with certain practitioners. In other words, he avoided seeing some practitioners. To summarize, he focused on self and was self-centered, and was not compassionate in dealing with things. Since his mind was full of "self" instead of "sentient beings," how could he do the three things well? When fellow practitioners compassionately shared these points with him, he agreed with them. However, he did not change much in practice. No matter how often fellow practitioners reminded him, his human notions were still dominant. Besides, he had another notion that the human heart was something different from righteous thoughts and that the human heart could not affect righteous thoughts. Because of this, he did not make enough effort to face his own attachments and look within. Later, as his "illness karma" became serious, he started to look within, but at that time looking within seemed to be the last resort to save his life. Trying to solve problems for the mere sake of solving problems is not in line with the Fa.
The fellow practitioner is gone. I am not here to point a finger at him, but I do want to remind those of us who have not paid attention to looking within to avoid a similar mistake.
Although we all say that we do not recognize the old forces' persecution, we should follow Teacher in the Fa even though we may still have some omissions in our xinxing. But what can be counted as really not recognizing the old forces' arrangements? It isn't enough to just talk about it, but rather it must be implemented in cultivation practice. When attachments emerge, we should realize they are not ourselves, eliminate them, deny them, or disobey them. Only by doing this will we "not recognize" them. If we are inattentive or careless, we will be giving them attention and even nurturing them. The old forces will then take advantage of us and strengthen our attachments, making us fall into tribulations. If we are not doing well, how can we eliminate our attachments? (The fellow practitioner's illness lasted for ten months, a time during which Teacher was waiting and giving him extra opportunities to enlighten.)
There is a saying among ordinary people: "The destruction of a dam can begin with an ants' nest." A practitioner who does not cultivate diligently and isn't strict with himself will find that attachments of the human heart that have not been eliminated will lead him to danger. Human emotions cannot disappear automatically, rather they must be be eliminated step by step through cultivation. To stop cultivating is to allow the evil to enlarge them and construct huge tribulations.
From the standpoint of a practitioner, the shortcomings of our fellow practitioners are a mirror that reflect our own attachments, which we usually take too lightly. Then they become insurmountable obstacles. If we let go of every attachment and take every opportunity to upgrade our xinxing, we can avoid many losses.
