Recognizing That the Issue of Pursuit is Due to My Own Anxiety

(Clearwisdom.net) I felt something weighing heavy on my heart when I got up this morning. This feeling led to tension and anxiety. I tried to figure out the reason behind it. Was it because of concern about my business? No. Was it because of my deep concern about the pressure from the evil? This was most likely the reason. Then what was in my heart that I could not lay down? Was it my physical body? No, I can regard life and death lightly. Then what was it? I think what I cannot lay down is this free cultivation environment. However, this is not the most fundamental reason. What I really cannot relinquish are thoughts such as, "I want to cultivate," "I want to cultivate better," "I want to reach a more perfect realm in my cultivation," and other such attachments. At my present realm, I can lay down some attachments of human beings to some extent, but the most fundamental attachment to me is what I pursue in the cultivation process. I know this is where my most fundamental attachment lies. Because of this, no one is permitted to get in the way of my pursuit of cultivation, and it has become something that I myself thoroughly protect.

I think that cultivation itself is great, but at a certain level, the requirements become quite high. To gain without pursuit is a basic principle of cultivation. I should not remain self-centered, but truly assimilate to Dafa unconditionally and diligently practice cultivation to help save sentient beings. That would be even greater.

There is a very strong element in my character, that is, whatever I do has to be a success. This element plays a very good role in my cultivation, but it is also a great impediment. Teacher says,

"The closer a side-path practice is to the outskirts of cultivation, the more requirements it will have and the more complicated its cultivation practice will be, since it cannot grasp the essence of cultivation. In cultivation, one should mainly cultivate one's xinxing. They still do not understand this and believe that they can practice cultivation by merely suffering hardships. "(Zhuan Falun)

During the early days after obtaining Dafa, I really lost no time and suffered a lot of hardships while practicing the exercises and reciting the Fa. However, I was seldom enlightened in the Fa. My mind and body were in a state of tension and "business." I think such a state resulted from my human mentality toward cultivation and attachment to Consummation.

Later, as I continued to study the Fa, Teacher showed me a magnificent scene. Immediately, many attachments of pursuit were removed. At that moment, I saw a variety of attachments of pursuit in my own heart. They were all black substances, which were dissolved under the power of the Fa. From then on I knew I should remain in the state of "no pursuit" and "unselfishness" and view everything from the perspective of the great, grand, and sacred Dafa. Whenever I study Dafa without attachment or pursuit, I can enlighten to deeper meanings from the Fa. Whenever the attachments of pursuit arise unconsciously, due to the attachment of "selfishness" in cultivation, I am seldom able to enlighten to the Fa. Therefore, my progress is quite slow.

Cultivation is really about the cultivation of one's heart and mind, rather than something at the surface. Yesterday, I validated the Fa by disclosing the persecution of fellow practitioners in labor camps by mailing out fliers to people. The process did not go smoothly, because I was upset and tense. My righteous thoughts were not strong enough and I experienced interference. According to the Fa principles, my energy should become greater and greater and my righteous thoughts should get stronger and stronger during my cultivation. Why is my cultivation state like this? I looked within myself and figured out the reasons. First, my starting point is fundamentally based on the premise that I should clarify the truth well and more deeply. However, it seems that my concern for myself is greater than that for persecuted fellow practitioners and sentient beings. Secondly, my pursuit of acquiring gong has made me quite anxious. I didn't follow the principle of "doing without pursuit."

As I put down the mentality of worrying about the destruction of my cultivation environment, I then found that I felt more comfortable and the surrounding environment became kinder. What's persecution? Who can harm practitioners? The persecution would have ended much earlier if all practitioners followed the Fa requirements and did not allow anything to shake their firm heart of cultivation. In this universe, Teacher has the final say. The theory of the universe determines everything. Tests and tribulations are nothing but a destructive method used by the old forces to weed out human beings. Some of our fellow practitioners hold on to their attachments and don't let them go. Therefore, each of us should let go of our attachments while completely negating the old forces. I feel that nothing external can harm us if we lay down our internal attachments.

November 16, 2006

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.ca/mh/articles/2006/11/19/142597.html

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