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I Finally Regained the Happiness I Enjoyed As a Child
(Clearwisdom.net) My father died in a car accident when I was still a
first-year middle school student. He left some property behind, and each
relative from my father's side of the family plunged into a fight for his
property. My mother was traumatized by what happened. After the loss of my
father, the inhumanness that the family members showed toward each other in
fighting for money, along with the neighbors' treatment of us felt like they
were hitting a man when he was down. All of these remolded me. I became an
eccentric person, did not trust people, and worshipped money. When I was in the
third year of middle school, my mother remarried. My stepfather was a very
honest and good-natured person, and I regarded it as his cowardice. He did not
worship money so much, and I considered it his incompetence. He did not demand
too much from life, and I took it as his lack of ambition. I never called him
"Dad." Though we lived under the same roof, our hearts were miles
apart. My mother did not have any education. She was very reserved and was in
very bad health. Since my childhood, we had difficulty communicating with each
other. Out of vanity I thought that she was not able to get me on top in
society. At school I worried that my classmates would look down upon me if they knew
my family background and would bully me, so I never took the initiative to
socialize with them. Even when I said something to them, I told lies. I lived my
life with a mask on. I felt like I was a stranger in this world, and I could
hardly believe anyone. At night I often cried under my quilt while I blamed
everyone and complained about everything. In my head, I plotted on how to end my
own life so many times, but I wasn't reconciled to such a thought because I
still wanted revenge. I still wanted the family members from my father's side to
fall on their knees to beg for my mercy, though I did not know how to achieve
this. I was so disturbed by such thoughts that I was not at ease for even a
single moment. How I wished I could return to my childhood, when I lived happily
and was carefree every day. At that time, my mom missed my dad very much and she was not able to get
along well with my stepfather. My stepfather has a child from his previous
marriage. The families from my father's side continued to harass her, and all of
these worsened my mother's health. Since modern medicine could not cure her disease, my mom turned to practicing
Falun Gong. Three months later she was rid of all her diseases. I was so amazed by the miraculous effect of Falun Gong on curing diseases.
Out of curiosity I began to read the book Zhuan Falun. This
book is a real treasure! It opened my heart that had been sealed with dust. I
came to the understanding that everything that happened in this world was not
accidental and there was a causal relationship behind it. Whether you came
across a good thing or a bad thing, as long as your mind is right and you follow
the principles of "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance," you will
increase your mind's capacity. I no longer complained, and I started to mingle with my family members. I
remember that when I called my stepfather "Dad" for the first time, he
was so excited that his eyes were shining with tears. Since then my home has
been full of laughter and joy. I am able to communicate freely and sincerely
with other people again. I treat everyone, including the family members from my
father's side, with a true heart, and I no longer have the thought of committing
suicide. I am filled with vitality and energy. At last I regained the feeling I
had when I was a child. My old classmates whom I have not seen for a long time all marvel at the
miracles Falun Dafa has created. So I wrote down my experience with the hope
that whoever reads this article will experience the same miracle. January 20, 2006 Posting date: 2/2/2006 |