Get Rid of the Pursuit of Gain and Affection; Walk Well on the Path of Fa-Rectification
By Xi Zhen
(Clearwisdom.net) Ever since I started to cultivate, I have deeply felt
the various states of being unable to be diligent, interference from all sorts
of unrighteous elements, and other obstacles in trying to get rid of my
attachments to fame, gain, and affection. I would like to share my experiences
of cultivating and eliminating my pursuit of fame, gain, and affection. 1. Eliminate the pursuit for fame and treasure the title "Practitioner
of the Fa-rectification Period" Many capable persons among everyday people have the attachment of fame,
including me. My situation was not about my having a strong pursuit of anything,
but instead, I always chose to give up or avoid facing competition and
conflicts. Therefore, I did not think that I had too much attachment to fame. Around two years after I obtained the Fa, I noticed that I was gradually
becoming more and more extreme in doing things. For instance, I often thought
about quitting school and even wanted to give up getting my Ph.D. degree by
using the excuse of getting rid of my attachment to fame. However, before I even
put this thought into action, a small thing happened between my professor and
me. My professor asked me to either stop practicing Falun Gong or temporarily
leave school. Although at this point I suddenly understood that I should not be
extreme under any circumstance, I still did not notice the fundamental
attachment hidden deep in my heart. Half a year later, the laboratory where I worked started working with another
professor, who was well known as being the first author of research articles by
taking advantage of cooperative work and others' research results. None of the
ordinary people in the laboratory wanted to let him take any credit, so only my
research result could be shared with him without any condition. Seeing the
professor take over my research results one part after another and put them
under his name, my attachment gradually revealed itself in front me. Since I did
not realize that I had an attachment to fame, my mind was full of all sorts of
thoughts to cover up my fundamental attachment. I thought that the professor
would get his retribution for taking away things that should belong to me. I
thought that out of the concern for this professor's own good, I should ask him
to stop stealing my research results. The state of being unable to find my
fundamental attachment was very painful. My willpower to cultivate gradually
weakened. Eventually, I had to force myself to give up any and all thoughts
about the situation. Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in
Philadelphia, U.S.A.": "If you're thinking, 'I'll have XYZ happen to me if I've gained such
and such amount of merit,' well, yes, that's how it works for an ordinary
person, and it might be what's looked at as far as certain facets of the
cosmos's Fa-truths go or in a particular situation. But true improvements come
from letting go, not from gaining." Though I reluctantly chose to let it go by forcing myself to not think about
it, our compassionate Teacher indeed helped me to see my strong attachment to
fame. In the process of giving up the attachment little by little, my research
began to get some recognition, and my classmates and professors started to
notice my progress, thus paying more attention to me. They also began to believe
that my achievements were from my cultivation of Falun Dafa. On the other hand, while working with fellow practitioners on Dafa related
projects, I treated the projects with an ordinary mentality: I was extremely
reluctant to take on any big projects that required considerable responsibility.
I used excuses such as not having the ability, using my pursuit of fame to cover
my attachment. But avoiding the projects did not help me to get rid of my
attachment. I heard other practitioners commenting on me. They said I envied
their fame and blamed me for being indifferent to the projects because of it.
When I first heard this, I tried hard to fight back my tears and forced myself
to look inward. In Fa study, we were reading Lecture Seven of Zhuan
Falun, "Let me tell you this truth, a truth ordinary people can't grasp:
maybe you think you're good at everything, but it's not in your destiny, while
that person isn't good at anything but it is in his destiny, so that guy gets
the managerial position. We don't worry about what ordinary people think,
because those are just ordinary thoughts. In the eyes of higher beings,
society just develops according to the specified patterns of development. So
what a person does in his life isn't arranged based on his talents." Suddenly I enlightened to the reason I was unable to get rid of the
attachment to the fame: I did not have a good understanding of Teacher's words. Whoever becomes famous, it is all pre-arranged. Teacher told us in
"Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston:" "Dafa disciples: the things you are faced with are magnificent, your
responsibilities are major, and then there's your origin, of course--it's
taking all these things into consideration that I say you're magnificent. You
need to be worthy of the title 'Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple!' That's
something that the cosmos won't have again. This only happens once since the
beginning of time--it only happens once since the beginning of time in the
cosmos." The honor Teacher has given to us, I understand, is far beyond any fame
within the human world. The fame among ordinary people, even practitioners, is
nothing. Treasure the title of "Fa-rectification Period Dafa
Disciples" that Teacher has honored us with and work harder to carry out
the important mission to save sentient beings. 2. Free oneself of the pursuit of gain and use resources wisely to save
sentient beings I had led a very simple life growing up, so I thought that I did not have
much attachment to money. After starting my practice, I was still strict with
myself on this aspect and many miracles happened to me. For instance, when I
really needed a desktop computer to clarify the truth, I suddenly got a chance
to do menial work. Although the pay was very low, the extra income was just
enough to buy a computer. On another occasion, I hoped to have extra money to
install high speed Internet. The apartment I rented suddenly had a leak, and I
had to move to a different place. The new place that I found was very neat and
cheaper. I used the money I saved to apply for high speed Internet. Because I
lived very close to a Communication Network Office, my high speed Internet was
installed very quickly. This helped me be able to clarify the truth through the
computer very efficiently. When I heard that clarifying the truth in Manhattan
was very important, I kept whatever savings I had left and also took a job as a
private tutor. Eventually I was able to get enough money in my savings account
that grew from almost nothing to make the trip to Manhattan, twice. However, as Teacher said in Lecture Four of Zhuan Falun, "But, usually when a conflict comes along, if it doesn't provoke you,
it doesn't count, it doesn't work, and you won't be able to improve from
it." During my first trip to New York, I had carefully planned my itinerary and
how to spend my money. The money I had would only cover one or two meals of
instant noodles every day; I could not afford to have a meal in a restaurant.
Then I accidentally lost my metro ticket that I had just bought when
distributing truth clarification materials. When I realized my loss, I was so
stunned that I did not know what to do. Practitioners in the same group who did
not know my financial situation could not understand why I reacted so strongly
about a mere metro ticket. They said, "Just buy another ticket. Why are you
so nervous?" I was very upset and I clearly saw my attachment--I could not
let it go when I lost something that benefited me. I did not do well in the test, but at least I got a chance to remove more of
my attachment to gain. As my attachment weakened, the amount in my saving
account increased gradually although I was not extremely strict in my daily
expenses. So, I did not need to worry about having no money to work on
clarifying the truth. 3. Be compassionate to fellow practitioners, and work together to fulfill our
great promise In a huge crowd, we often find someone who seems like an old friend at first
sight. It is the same among practitioners. Teacher said in "Lectures in the
United States:" "You'll find that someone who walks down the street and doesn't belong
to your group, who doesn't have a predestined relationship with you, or have
anything to do with you, will seem to be in a totally different world from
you. You won't seem to have anything to do with him. You'll also find persons
who seem to be of a different type of people. Then these people aren't from
your group, and you don't have any predestined relationship with them at
all." After I started to practice Falun Gong, whenever I was bothered or could not
understand the conflict between me and other practitioners, Teacher always
helped me to see the relationships between me and other practitioners in our
previous lifetimes. For instance, I met a male practitioner in a project group. At once I felt at
ease in talking with him about my true feelings. Very soon, I began to feel that
as long as I saw him I would feel very happy, although I was already content
with my boyfriend. That male practitioner was also a married man with children.
I then felt scared when I first noticed my feelings toward that male
practitioner. I was totally lost and did not know what to do or how to handle
it. I kept pleading for Teacher's help and at same time negating my feelings
toward that male practitioner. Soon enough, I found out that the male
practitioner and I were born in Germany during another lifetime. We were very
good friends and treated each other as soul mates. No wonder when we met at this
lifetime we felt so comfortable with each other. After I understood this, I saw
that the old forces had been using the predestined relationship between us to
test us. I kept sending forth righteous thoughts to negate the old forces and
their arrangements. Very soon, both he and I were busy doing different projects
that we were assigned, and we do not have much chance to run into each other
anymore. After I passed this test, I had thought that there would be no more similar
such tests. Yet few months later, I met a female practitioner. At once we
happily chatted like two old friends. However, beyond my imagination, with our
continued communication, we started to flirt with each other and even had deep
feelings of affection to each other. Since we were both females, we did not
immediately notice anything wrong. But when my affection got stronger and
stronger, I thought of that male practitioner and understood that this was the
old force's test of using our predestined relationship to pull us down. While I
sent out forth righteous thoughts, I looked inward and saw my frivolous thoughts
and attachments show up. Very soon, the relationship between us was rectified.
And through our open conversation, both she and I were determined to eliminate
unrighteous things through cultivation. Later, we began to do a very important
Dafa project. Because of the predestined relationship of our previous lifetimes,
we can easily understand each other and cooperate well. Among practitioners, besides having very good friends in previous lifetimes,
I also met a practitioner who was my enemy in a previous lifetime. Shortly after
I began to practice Falun Dafa, I had conflict with that practitioner. Whenever
he talked, I felt that he was not in the Fa and pointed out his problem. He, at
same time, had a tendency to want me to follow his way of doing things. Our
relationship became very tense, but neither of us wanted to step back, so
finally we had to stop any communication between us. However, the karma
accumulated from the previous lifetimes was too huge. For a while, whenever I
heard his name, I immediately felt angry, so I pleaded with Teacher to help me
eliminate such bad substance. One or two weeks later, I found that I was not
that angry with him. Gradually, I found out that he and I had fought for fame
and gain in the past and had even tried to kill each other, so that was why
there was so much karma between us. Though I understood this, I still was unable to smoothly resolve the conflict
between us. Until recently, we had to work together in a Dafa project. I
reminded myself that no matter how hard it is, I must be tolerant for the sake
of saving sentient beings and rectifying the Fa. When I decided to ground
myself, I suddenly foresaw the relation between us in our further lifetimes. We
were the lords of each other's celestial body. In the process of descending to a
different level, we met each other at one level and knotted the predestined
relationship. It was done so that we would be able to be together in today's Fa
rectification period. At that level, that practitioner was a leader of children
and a brother of mine. When we children at that level had to ascend to the next
level, we all knew that we would be Falun Dafa practitioners someday because we
all promised Teacher. To avoid being separated in the following lifetimes, we
always were together at each level and lifetime, but we were lost in the human's
world. Though we had a very deep predestined relationship, we also created great
karma between us. Unable to be diligent on the cultivation path, unable to truly
look inward during a conflict, and unable to follow the principle of
truthfulness, compassion, tolerance reduced the effectiveness of saving sentient
beings on the projects we worked together. On cultivation paths, every one of us takes a different role or does a
different task, but when we gradually get rid of the attachments to fame, gain
and affection, we will be more clear minded on our historic mission and also see
the effect of our righteous or non-righteous actions on saving sentient beings. I'd like to conclude my article with Teacher's words in "Teaching the Fa
on Easter, 2004, at the New York Fa Conference:" "You can talk about how such-and-such number of the cosmos's gods came
down to the world before to save people and established such-and-such mighty
virtue, but I'll tell you, my true Dafa disciples: Your future mighty virtue
will surpass that of any god who came to this world before at any point in
history, (applause) for you today are part of Fa-rectification. You need to
treasure it--you have to treasure the path you've walked. Only when you
treasure the steps you've taken can you do well on the path ahead. Not much of
the journey is left. Do even better on your path and do things even more
righteously." Thank you, Teacher! Thank you, everybody! April 5, 2006
Chinese version available at
http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2006/4/6/124564.html
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