By a practitioner in Germany

(Clearwisdom.net) Lately I haven't stopped thinking about the matter of the 2007 Global Chinese New Year's Spectacular, presented by New Tang Dynasty TV. It isn't hard to understand the reasoning for why to hold the specutacular, but when it comes to doing it, I begin to hesitate. I'm wondering if it is the evil interfering with me, taking advantage of my attachments and selfishness to aggressively obstruct me.

I feel quite shameful when comparing myself with those fellow practitioners who have better xinxing. Why do I hesitate? It is nothing other than "selfishness" which I still do not let go of. On the one hand, it is not that I do not know the significance of the New Year's Spectacular. But when I ponder further, this isn't something you can simply say. It's something easier said than done. It's something you have to really invest a lot into. Can I really do it? The idea of protecting myself arises, "How much sleep do I have to lose? How much running around do I have to do? And how much effort do I have to put in?" So on and so forth. Since I do not want to give up on the spectacular, I still keep on thinking about the possible problems, yet surely I know how important this event is. This situation of "stepping on two boats at one time" lasted for many days.

During this period of time, I made some phone calls, trying to exchange some ideas with other practitioners. When I say I was exchanging ideas, I was in fact unknowingly trying to get some validation from them. In so doing I exposed some of my own attachments related to my response to those who did not agree with me. As I recall, every time I proposed something, I was always a little too emotional and irrational.

Up until last night when I saw the latest notice from Clearwisdom.net, I began to realize that there might not be many more of these valuable opportunities. The Fa rectification of the universe is moving forward extremely fast. So is there time for us to consider whether or not we should do the project? This isn't something we can decide. What I can decide is only related to my own involvement, "Will I join other fellow practitioners to do it, or will I just withdraw myself from it all?" The truth of the matter is that my telephone conversations those days with fellow practitioners did not waste my time. From their positive and decisive words, I recall an old saying, "When rowing a boat upstream, one must move forward or else float downward." Through my telephone conversations, my unhappiness towards a few fellow practitioners has subsided considerably. Now I feel more relaxed. It seems that there's no need to think about anything else. What is left is one word: "Do."

Posting date: 7/19/2006
Original article date: 7/18/2006
Category: Practitioners' Insights
Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2006/7/6/132258.html

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