Believing in Dafa Solidly and Cultivating Myself Well by Looking Within
Presented at the 2006 Mid-USA Falun Dafa Experience Sharing Conference
Greetings, Respected Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners! I've gained quite a lot from seven years of cultivation practice, though
deficiencies still remain. Today I'd like to share with all my fellow
practitioners, hoping we can advance together and work diligently on the Fa
together, and do the three things well, saving more sentient beings. Looking back to the days when I started to practice the Fa, it seemed things
happened accidentally. But now when I recollect my experiences in the first half
of my life, I have become aware that everything was arranged for me to get ready
for the Fa, including moving several times and my own marriage. At
those crucial moments, Master's painstaking arrangements have ensured I didn't
miss the opportunity to practice. Eventually, I was led to the Fa due to my
marriage. It is not only for this life's cultivation practice, but in fact
Master has always kept an eye on Dafa disciples, ensuring that we were never
totally lost or impeded by self notions to miss the opportunity to practice the
Fa in this life. Master's mercy and greatness are beyond description. I had always been shy since I was a child. When I grew up, though I saw
plainly and clearly, too much of the world's competition for fame and self
interest through intrigues and lies; yet deep in my heart I kept pursuing
goodness. Although some relatives told me to learn to be smart and become a
strong man, yet I myself was absolutely not willing to do so; even if I lost
profits I set my conscience at ease. But then the cruel reality set in. I didn't
even get a clue why I was in such an antipathetic position and I felt totally
lost in searching for purpose in my life. Just after we started cultivation practice, evidence showed that the
persecution of Falun Gong would take place in China. As expected, days later,
showing its true face, the CCP started rumor mongering, spreading false reports
against Falun Dafa, and arresting and persecuting practitioners wildly and
widely throughout the country on July 20th, 1999. This was a very big
tribulation for new practitioners who had just started their journey of
practicing. And it is just like what Master has said in Touring North America
to Teach the Fa, "Back when I was teaching Dafa, why were the old forces dead set on
limiting the number of people who would obtain the Fa during the first round
to 100 million? Even these 100 million people are the result of my insistence.
At the time, the number they limited it to was 70 million, while I wanted 200
million people. They knew that if 200 million people were to obtain the Fa
during the first round they wouldn't be able to make this evil so-called
"test" happen, so they were dead set on limiting it to 100 million.
A large group of these people had just obtained the Fa when they couldn't wait
anymore to begin the so-called tribulation. That was unfair to those
people". But fortunately, I had known well about the evil CCP from childhood. From
1989 on, apart from some travel programs of mainland China, I had watched
television series broadcast from Hong Kong and Taiwan, so the CCP's propaganda
didn't completely blindfold me. More than that, I was a practitioner myself and
I knew exactly what Master had said in the Fa, and all the propaganda released
was lies. Therefore, I did not waiver in my cultivation. Owing to my unsteady
study of the Fa, I didn't quite understand those practitioners who had gone to
Beijing, and didn't know what had happened and what they'd gone there for. The
only thing I cherished was the greatness of the Fa, which is all I wanted and I
had to carry it on till the end of my cultivation path. After starting practicing, both my body and soul felt comfortable and at
ease. Plus, I had reached the state Master required in the fifth exercise. With
the deepening of my cultivation practice and the in-depth understanding of Fa,
my tribulations were enlarged, mainly in my family life. I often felt my wife
persisted unreasonably, which made me fly into a rage. I wondered how she could
act like this as a practitioner herself. Though I clearly and logically argued
with her, which rendered her speechless, yet she still pestered me with her
unreasonable demands and easily lost her temper. Subsequently, I enlightened to
these tribulations as a chance for me to upgrade my xinxing, which
is just like what Master taught in Zhuan Falun, Lecture Four, "Upgrading
Xinxing", "By the time the gong reaches his xinxing level, the gong has also
increased up to that level. If he wants to continue increasing his gong, the
conflict will also become very serious, as it requires him to keep upgrading
xinxing. This is particularly true for a person with good inborn quality. He
may think that his gong has been increasing well and the practice also goes
very well. Why are there suddenly so many problems? Everything goes wrong.
People mistreat him, and his boss also does not favor him. Even the situation
at home becomes very tense." Through actual cultivation practice, I myself gradually truly comprehended
Master's teaching in this part of Fa. During subsequent cultivation practice,
I've gained a deeper grasp of it. At the start of the persecution, as a new practitioner with only my family
members knowing the fact of my practicing, I was totally in the state of
cultivating myself and practicing gong only, without doing anything for Fa-rectification,
which I knew nothing about. In 2000, after learning about some Dafa defaming
event I realized that I had to write down what I knew and send it out to make
the truth clear. At that time, my mind was pure and clean, and I never thought
of being persecuted for doing so. Later on, I downloaded and printed some
truth-clarifying materials to send out from some Dafa websites. At last, just
before I immigrated to Canada, we had established our material site to print
fliers and brochures, and fellow practitioners would go out at night or some
other time to distribute them to each household. There were two elderly
practitioners who had plenty of free time also giving out filers during the day,
and they have almost covered the whole region. Sometimes, we did encounter some
crisis, yet under Master's compassionate protection, we were never in jeopardy. Going out to distribute filers seemed very simple, but in fact it needed some
breakthroughs. The key point was to eliminate the attachment of fear, especially
when acknowledging the cruelty and severity of the persecution, a breakthrough
in the heart of fear which was blocking us was further needed. The very first time I went out to distribute truth-clarifying materials was
just like a huge battleground of mental warfare. I knew perfectly well that I
shouldn't possess the attachment of fear, yet I inexplicably shivered with
fright. But as long as I stood firm in the Fa, I could make breakthroughs
knowing I was saving sentient beings, and that the fliers going out of my hands
were of crucial importance. The key was to hold righteous thoughts. However, the
heart of fear was not eliminated in a single blow. I had thought that with the
first breakthrough, it would be fine. But in fact, I was chastened several times
to eliminate the attachment of fear. Moreover, dangers accompanied me every now
and then, and any problem in my cultivation practice would be the reason for the
evil to carry out their persecution. There were times around 11pm,when I
returned after giving out fliers, and found a van parked at the gate, lights
off, with guys sitting inside murmuring. At a glance, I knew they were sent to
keep a close watch for people distributing truth-clarifying fliers. When I
recall all this now, I realize if I hadn't studied Fa every day, I would have
been persecuted, though I was not studying as much or as diligently as I should;
yet I insisted on learning Fa every day. With Master's protection, at last we
dared to distribute truth-clarifying materials like fliers and CDs and put up
posters in the hustle and bustle of the night market and the stations. At the end of 2000, I decided to apply for immigration to Canada. One reason
was that I wanted to see Master Li, and also out of respect for my overseas
relatives' advice, I could have my career develop better there. During the
subsequent application process, I had thought a lot about whether I should go
abroad or not and came to no conclusion. At last, I told myself that I had
better let things be; if my application was accepted, I would go abroad, but if
not I could also validate the Fa inside China. It appeared to be the right
decision to make for I made great advancement in cultivation practice after
coming to Canada. I've started my cultivation practice a bit later than most other disciples,
when I was in China. I hadn't realized I should go to Beijing, but I've had a
chance to make up for it here in a foreign land, being on duty at the Chinese
embassy. I thought I have had my attachment of fear eliminated by managing to
send out truth-clarifying materials back in China. Till the very first day at
the Embassy I found that attachment had not been eliminated; root and branch. I
realized that cultivation practice was really a process of continuously
eliminating the attachments. After one layer of attachment had been eliminated
another layer hide deeper which would subsequently show itself to be eliminated
again. As a practitioner, one has to be steadfast, be firm in believing Master and
the Fa, and follow the right path by working diligently on the Fa without any
letup. On my way to the Chinese embassy for the first time, I felt perturbed
with fear and uncertainty. I worried about my family: would they be implicated?
Nobody else knew I was a practitioner so we didn't have too much interference.
But now my practicing Dafa would be known openly by my standing before the
Embassy: would my family be involved in it? I know all too well about the
evilness of the CCP. Thus, in fear and worry I came to the Embassy. After
distributing truth-clarifying materials for a while, by and by the attachment of
fear was eliminated. Seeing passersby receiving the filers, joy and peace
spontaneously generated from my heart. I felt a sincere happiness for sentient
beings having been saved. And thus, I understood the state of compassion. Later
on, no matter how bad my state was, once I stood at the gate of the Embassy, I
would feel clear-minded and sufficiently able and I was filled with compassion.
The wonderful feelings were beyond description. Especially when we stand in the
freezing cold winter under the heavy snow and biting cold winds, the people were
more easily touched, and they did believe what we said was all true. A most
touching experience for me was on my night shift, at about midnight, a car
passing by stopped and a complete stranger opened his car window and cried out
to me and another practitioner "Falun Dafa is good!" several times. I
felt truly and whole-heartedly happy for the person with such a clear mind. And
I was also deeply moved by practitioners' persistence on duty at the Embassy,
which is ultimately important. Time passed swiftly, and during my years in Canada, I've had more time to
devote to Fa-rectification. And thus I've had more chances to cultivate and to
enhance myself, so that I could make continuous breakthroughs on my path of
practice. In the process of constantly looking within during cultivation
practice, I really find that there are many hearts of attachments that should be
eliminated. I have benefited not only from my own experiences but also from
events happening to other people around me. I gained a deep understanding of the
meanings of our Master's words in A Dialogue with Time, "Divine Being: These problems have already become very serious. It
would be good if they could manage to search within themselves for the things
that they have been able to find in others." I usually disapproved when hearing fellow practitioners sharing their
experiences on tribulations made by themselves; thinking an easy-going person
like me should have no such problem. Until my own tribulation came, I didn't
realize that I had deeply hidden human attachments that should be dug out and
eliminated. Sometimes I could not pass the tribulations my wife made for me, but
it got better through times of hardships. Not long ago, I took part in some
group's projects. Owing to some unforeseen disagreements with fellow
practitioners, I did not fully understand and I truly experienced some mental
inconsistencies. Though I didn't have a problem knowing I had to upgrade my
xinxing, yet, those feelings of affliction took hold of me, grasped at my heart,
which was rather torturous for me. Anyhow I remembered that I am a Dafa
practitioner and I had to improve myself. Whenever I suffered from torture in my
heart, I would recall what Master said in the Fa and how I should be in
accordance with it. In this way, I can gradually have a deeper understanding of
the Fa. I realized how important it is to study the Fa and I knew well that
whatever frustrations or tribulations I would come across, they are good chances
for me to upgrade xinxing by looking within. Though it is for sure a very
difficult task, and I am not fully satisfied with what I've done up to now; yet
I firmly believe that as long as we bear Dafa in mind, and cultivate by looking
within unconditionally, we will become better and better till we achieve the
final enlightenment. As far as I can understand there are no conflicts between personal
cultivation practice and the Fa-rectification practice. What really matters is
we should place our heart in a righteous place, treat ourselves all the way as
practitioners. Fa-rectification has granted me more chances to break through
myself and advance. I used to be a heavy sleeper. Even after sleeping for nine
hours straight I still felt sleepy. When I learned in Master's lecture that many
practitioners have only three to five hours of sleep every day, I thought they
were terrific. But I simply couldn't make it. Later when Fa-rectification
projects required it and I knew the importance of what we were doing, out of
compassion toward sentient beings, I could manage to sleep less, gradually. I
sleep six hours a day now. For two nights I worked till 2:00am and got only four
hours sleep and then went to work afterwards. And I did it. So the key is how we
treat ourselves. If we treat ourselves as practitioners and not ordinary human
beings, we can make various breakthroughs in all aspects in our cultivation. One more thing, I used to be so shy a person that I would feel scared even
shopping for groceries, never mind speaking in public. But during the Canadian
elections last year, in order to take the opportunity to clarify the truth to
both candidates and ordinary people, I took part in truth-clarifying activities
during the debate. My first time being involved in this kind of activity I
luckily had a practitioner accompany me. But he had some difficulties finding
the place since it was only a small city, and not well-known at all. And when
there were only 20 minutes left before the start of the debate, and I was still
the only person standing at the gate; what should I do? Wait for him? Only 20
minutes left and he hadn't even called. What if he couldn't make it on time?
Should I leave and go back? At that time, I heard a voice saying all the while
to me: Go back , you can't do it. I felt there was a strong power trying to push
me away from the site. But just at that moment, I remembered, I am a Dafa
disciple, I came to this world merely for aiding our Master in Fa-rectification
to save sentient beings. Could I really see those precious lives be ruined by
the evil without doing anything and the only reason was that I thought my
character was not suitable for that? No! I must make a breakthrough. Thinking
this way, I plucked up the courage and forced myself to give out fliers to
everyone. When meeting interested people, I would talk further with them with my
not-so- good English. And under Master's arrangement, I even got a chance to
clarify the truth to one of the candidates, who showed her support for us. Soon
the debate began and I received a call from the other practitioner. Not long
after, he arrived. When the question time came, we both raised a question before
the microphone as planned and we won warm applause. After the meeting, many
kind-hearted people came up to wish us good luck. Our truth-clarifying achieved
a good effect. And through this experience I realized cultivation is a process
of constantly eliminating human attachments and breaking through human notions
and ego. So to us Dafa disciples, it is not essential to know what we want or
what we want to do, but more of what I should do for Fa-rectification and how
should I do it according to Dafa. I will do whatever Dafa requires, and
eliminate human attachments that hold me back, which, to me, is a process of
correcting and cultivating continuously. After the crime of organ harvesting was exposed, some of us felt lost in our
efforts to end the inhuman persecution. But I find that Master's already
addressed that out in Mature. So please allow me to cite Master's article
Mature to conclude my speech, "My overall impression is that most Dafa disciples have matured; the way
in which they are cultivating has matured; the understanding cultivators have of
cultivation has matured; and the rational behavior that comes from a progressive
decrease in human thoughts has, likewise, matured. When all Dafa disciples are
like this, the evil will be completely eliminated and Gods and Buddhas will
grandly manifest." Thank you, Master! Thanks, everybody!
Chinese version available at
http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2006/7/20/133468.html
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