Greetings Master Li, Greetings fellow practitioners,

I attained the Fa after listening to Master’s lecture in Toronto on May 23^rd, 1999. Not having much time for self-cultivation, before I knew it, I entered into the special period of Fa-rectification. In Touring North America to Teach the Fa, Master said,

I was very happy that I had caught the last bus. I settled into the understanding that I was pushed to my position already, so I should be OK if I simply followed along. Then, I participated in media work and many other Dafa projects. At the beginning, I considered myself a new practitioner. Gradually I become a veteran practitioner, then a coordinator. Over the past 7 years, I have participated in many projects, doing things, and self-cultivation became secondary.

Lately, I have come to realize that over the past years, in the name of "Dafa projects, "I was not diligent in self-cultivation. I have blamed all the difficulties I encountered as the evil’s interference. I did not really face this issue until this year’s Canada Fa Conference. Master said in Toronto,

Master also said,

Muddling Through, in the Name of Dafa Projects

I am a research scientist at a large vaccine company. Writing reports is part of my job. I wrote a report in 2002, which had a big impact on a major project. The report was very well recognized in the global R&D community as it was regarded as factual and easy to read. Since then, I developed deeper understandings of Fa-rectification. I have participated in many Dafa projects. Gradually, I began to compare Dafa projects to what I had to do at work and tried to prioritize them together. Unconsciously, I started to judge everyday people’s work according to my own understanding of the Fa. Am I doing a good thing if I help save people from disease suffering, or even death? With this understanding, you can imagine how low a priority I ranked my everyday work. I justified this in the name of doing Dafa projects. The more sharing among practitioners, the more "right" I felt my decision was at that time. Apparently, I was not the only one with this mentality. My wife was a star technical sales person in a large telecommunications firm. She got involved in many Dafa projects as well, roughly at the same time as I did. When she lost her job, I envied her: "This is great! You can now do Dafa work full-time!" I myself wanted to do Dafa work full time as well. Only because someone had to bring food to the table in the house, did I not resign from my job. Until a few months ago, I was still trying to find a way to work full-time on Dafa projects.

You probably can tell how good the quality of my work was under this kind of mentality. What manifested on the surface was that there were tests after tests at work. My boss had also developed an attitude towards me. I totally regarded this as interference to my "rightful tasks," and as "attacks against those tasks." I had developed a habit of regularly sending forth righteous thoughts. Before I went to my boss’ office for a meeting, I’d send righteous thoughts. Although he sometimes was not happy, I managed to come out of his office in one piece every time. I sent righteous thoughts before project reviews. Although I could have done some of the work better, I passed the reviews without too much trouble. There were a few times that I really sensed my boss had reached his limits. I told myself that trouble was coming; I’d better intensify truth clarification. The good thing is that my boss has a good sense of justice; he also has a good heart. I could always get some breathing room after an intensive truth clarification session with him.

Master told us in Atlanta in 2003, that clarifying the truth is a master key. It is so true. If we could do it on matters close to everyday people and use the language everyday people understand, it would have amazing results. At the beginning of this year, I spent a lot of time trying to stop nine CCP (Chinese Communist Party) TV channels from coming to Canada. I made the effort to clarify the truth to my boss, which apparently touched him, and helped me sail through another job crisis. He had briefly joined the Canadian military for a few months when he was young. I told him that I was defending Canada. Canadian soldiers carry weapons to defend Canada. Right now, the CCP was invading Canada with nine hate-inciting channels. Most Canadians are not even aware of this. Yes, I have spent quite a lot of time on this, but it was so worthwhile, as I was defending Canada with our efforts. Plus, all the writing skills I learned at work, especially my boss’ help in my writing skills, were all being put to good use. Our submission to the CRTC was very professional. Normally it would take a few lawyers a few months to complete such submissions. We, a few amateurs did it in less than a month. Later on, I heard that he said good words about me to his supervisor. I was sincerely happy for him, as he did the right thing. Looking back now, I realized that I actually caused him to endure the responsibility that I should have taken myself at work.

Yes, clarifying the truth is a master key; it can help people to make the right choice to position themselves well.

Yes, Dafa disciples’ righteous thoughts are powerful; sending righteous thoughts can for sure eliminate the evil’s interference. However, neither sending forth righteous thoughts nor clarifying the truth can replace cultivation. They do not lessen our responsibility to balance what the Fa requires us to do in ordinary society.

Economic pressure kept me hanging on to my job. Now, this job means more than just dollars to me. It is a unique cultivation environment. Although I still have to struggle from time to time balancing the Dafa work and the job, I feel that my mind is on the right track. I now have a better understanding from the perspective of the Fa. This is the most important; with this understanding, I am sure I will be able to balance them all well.

Not Minding the Minor Details, Also in the Name of Dafa Projects

Not long ago, my boss gave me feedback on a report I wrote. He said that "saying ‘A and B are significantly related’ is vague, you should say that ‘When the P value is set to XYZ, A and B are statistically significantly related.’" He continued, "Conclusions without details to back it up are not at all convincing." I said to myself, "There you go again." I did not respond much, but started sending forth righteous thoughts in my mind. I had to rush that report out as I had to get on to the important Dafa projects. The subject matter of this report was so trivial, why did he have to be so picky on these minor details? It had to be interference. I then went back to my office, shut the door tightly and sent forth righteous thoughts. After I calmed myself down, I realized that I actually had all the information needed to write a quality document. It was not difficult at all to write it. What was difficult, however, was to calm down and settle my thoughts down and concentrate on the writing. The problem came from the heart.

Looking back, there were many incidents in which I did not mind the "minor" details even for Dafa projects. For example, in the submissions we sent to the CRTC against the CCP TV channels that I was so proud of, there was one minor regulation that I did not do an in-depth study on and took it on its face value. That later on became an excuse for the lawyers on the other side to attack our submission. Because it was not a major point, their attack was not very damaging. It nevertheless reflected the weakness of my work ethic. Compared to the report by David Kilgour and David Matas, the gap was obvious. I have a long way to go to improve in terms of minding the details, no matter if I am doing Dafa work or my everyday job.

In fact, the evil party culture is in the extreme of not minding the details. No matter what the facts are, the CCP can always label you as something and then start to persecute or discredit you. This is so apparent in the Chinese regime's response to the Kilgour-Matas report as well as their replies to the CRTC. They dare not face the facts, instead they respond with propaganda.

Responding to situations with slogans is powerless, but is easy to do. I do this sometimes as well, as a manifestation of laziness. Lately, I have become quite active participating in practitioners’ sharing sessions. My wife said that I had been using a lot of jargon. Master said in the New York Fa Conference that our path is very narrow. When I am not doing well myself, instead of trying to do well, I try to impose my understandings on others. For sure this is off track of the right path. If I continue to pressure others with grand words, speaking with a lot of adjectives, and no real substance, then I could fall closer to the evil party culture. This is serious.

Indulging One's Own "Subtle" Attachments, Still in the Name of Dafa Projects

I have read Zhuan Falun many times, but it did not occur to me that the section on "pieces of towels from the mill" had anything to do with me, until March 22 of this year. From late last year, my company hired an established psychologist to do leadership training for managers. I was selected to have one-on-one sessions with her to analyze my personality type and leadership style so that I could improve in these areas. I was very happy, not only because I could learn and apply the skills to other Dafa projects, but also it was a good opportunity to clarify the truth to her.

I told her many things during the March 22 session, from what Falun Gong is to the Sujiatun concentration camp, to my involvement in media work. I also shared the difficulties I experienced in balancing all the activities. She asked me very lightly, "Falun Gong practices truthfulness. You are not doing other things during working hours, right?" Her question struck me pretty hard. Then the discussion moved on to other things. When I read Zhuan Falun again in Chapter 4, reflecting on my behavior, I realized how far away I was compared to the requirements of a cultivator. It was not like I did not know what I was doing, or did not know what the standard was, it was that I wanted to "give myself a break" by indulging my seemingly "minor" attachments, because I had been doing so much Dafa work. I kind of deserved some breaks, especially when I sacrificed trivial things, such as my work. This lack of discipline had directly resulted in working on Dafa projects during working hours without the intention to catch up later on.

Subconsciously, I knew that I should do what I was paid to do; however, I even showed-off to fellow practitioners that I managed to do Dafa work at work! As a matter of fact, the efficiency was low when I tried to do too many things all at once. As a result, I did not do Dafa work well; I also did a poor job at work. After listening to Master’s lecture in Toronto this year, I realized the importance of balancing things well at work. I have determined to concentrate on work while at work. My efficiency at work did improve dramatically. I am also more settled in doing Dafa work during lunch breaks and after work. However, it is a big challenge to change my habit of many years, especially when most of the projects are full of demanding last minute tasks. I have two email systems on my computer. Restraining myself from clicking on the Dafa email system during working hours has become a big test for me. I did not think controlling the mouse required so much discipline. After a couple of months, now I can concentrate on work for four consecutive hours each, in the morning and in the afternoon, then focus on Dafa projects during lunch breaks and after work.

Master told us the importance and seriousness of balancing things well at work. As a disciple, I have no choice but to do it well. The most important thing is to have the right mindset. What’s on our minds has a huge impact on everyday people. After I determined to do the job well, I saw big changes in my boss as well. The CCP’s evil act of harvesting practitioners’ organs for profit upset him very much. A few times, he wanted to talk about it during working hours. In fact, if our mindset is righteous and our righteous actions include doing the job well, then even the boss can join you in your Dafa work when needed.

"Subtle" attachments come from all aspects of my life. For example, there are two secretaries in our area of work, one is good looking, and the other is not so good looking. When I need help, I always try to find the good looking one to help me. It is apparently an attachment, but I always had my justifications. However, if we do not safeguard every piece of our thoughts, those "subtle" attachments could become huge and bring damage to Dafa work. Last year, a veteran practitioner was brought in to coordinate a project with me. The collaboration did not go well at all. She said that she did not get much support from me. Only after she pointed it out directly to me, I realized that I tended to pick the practitioners that I liked to work with. For the practitioners that for some reason I did not feel close to, I normally did not reach out, not to mention, offer help to them.

This is subtle but it is definitely qing. I have worked with many practitioners on projects. During the process, I have developed sentimentality towards them as well. How heavy my sentimentality was to fellow practitioners was revealed in a recent team conflict. About a month ago, I thought that I saw two practitioners on the team being very unfairly treated. As one of the main coordinators in the team, I lost my composure. I thought justice had to be done, so I lashed out at the "responsible" practitioners. After timely sharing with the practitioners involved, I realized that my actions were driven by my qing to practitioners and to my sense of "justice," not from compassion for all involved, and not from a consideration for the improvement of the overall environment.

In "The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be," Master said,

Not safeguarding the subtle attachments is a loophole. It would hardly be cultivation if we cannot discipline our thoughts and actions. Master said in Sage,

Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples have the honor of following Master in Fa-rectification. Sure, we have the "great aspirations," but "minding minor details"? I am not sure. What I am sure of is that I did not do well in this regard. I regret that I had the thoughts that I had caught the last bus and then let my guard down in self-cultivation. I am grateful that Master, through His own enduring, has given more chances for me to correct myself. I will be diligent and discipline my every thought and every action according to Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance.

These are my limited understandings, please correct me with compassion.

Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!