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Eliminating Anxiety and Apprehension to Memorize Zhuan Falun
(Clearwisdom.net) I am a farm woman with very little formal education. Awakened by Teacher's
hint and motivated by fellow practitioners memorizing the Fa, I also started to
memorize the Fa, something I had earlier thought unthinkable. While memorizing
the Fa, my body and mind were further purified, and my many attachments of fear,
showing off, zealotry, jealousy, selfishness, and sentimentality were all
thoroughly scrutinized. My most fundamental attachments of lack of time and
apprehension were rooted out. I would like to share bits and pieces of my
limited understanding on memorizing the Fa. When I shared my experience with other practitioners before, I mentioned that
I easily got drowsy and my brain went numb while studying the Fa. When they
asked me to memorize the Fa, my response was that I dare not do that because I
was afraid that I would fail in my attempt, so I was hindered by my attachments
of anxiety and apprehension. One evening while reading Zhuan Falun, my granddaughter
suddenly asked me, "Grandma, did you memorize the whole book?" I
realized right away that Teacher was hinting for me to memorize the Fa. In
January 2006, I was motivated and awakened by the many experience sharing
articles by fellow practitioners on memorizing the Fa. Only then did I make up
my mind to memorize Zhuan Falun. I was fortunate to obtain the Fa in December 1997, but I felt that I wouldn't
have enough time to cultivate. I even asked other practitioners whether I could
still reach consummation before the Fa Rectification ends since I obtained the
Fa so late. I was afraid that I could be left behind. This fundamental
attachment of apprehension had never been thoroughly uprooted and eradicated. As soon as I made up my mind to memorize the Fa, my attachment again reared
its ugly head. Such a thick book, how long would it take me to memorize it all?
What would happen if I could not memorize it all even once before it all ends?
This attachment of fear of lack of time immediately had a negative effect on my
body. A big lump the size of an egg grew near my right temple above my right
ear. My face was also swollen to the point I could hardly open my eye on that
side. As it turned out, I suffered the same symptom when I was released from a
labor camp in the spring of 2003. Even though I suffered the same symptom, I understood it was not an ailment.
I continued to seek within while memorizing the Fa. As soon as I identified this
fundamental attachment and dug it out, it was eradicated like a malignant tumor.
The big lump disappeared in three days without any medical treatment. This time
it was bigger than last time, yet it recovered even faster. Some people did not
believe it, and some felt it was inconceivable. I told them that when people get
sick they must be treated with medicine and injections, but we practitioners
must treat our abnormal physical symptoms with our hearts, find out where we are
lacking and not conforming with the Fa. As soon as we find it Teacher will
correct the anomalies. This incident demonstrated the mighty power of the Fa and
Teacher's immense compassion. I normally memorized the Fa in the evening. Each evening I memorized three to
four paragraphs, and there are 599 paragraphs. Each evening I sent forth
righteous thoughts on the hour from 6:00 p.m. To 9:00 p.m., and did one hour of
exercise. Very often I would persist to send forth righteous thoughts at 12
midnight before going to bed. I would wake up at around 4:00 a.m. to do the
fifth exercise for one hour. Sometimes the demon of drowsiness would interfere
and I could hardly keep my eyes open. But I kept ignoring it and I would be
clear headed again after memorizing the Fa. One day during the busy spring season of farming in the field, I came home
quite late and there was not enough time to memorize the Fa as usual. I thought
I would just go to bed and then wake up at 3:00 a.m. to continue memorizing the
Fa. I almost overslept past 3:00 a.m. in the morning, but I heard a particularly
beautiful bell ring that woke me up. I looked at my watch, and it was a few
minutes before 3:00 a.m., and I still felt sleepy. But there was no reason not
to get up and memorize the Fa with such beautiful bell rings. I felt very clear
in my head after getting up and knew it was Teacher urging me to get up to
memorize the Fa. I was very moved in my heart and felt that Teacher was right
next to me at all times. Each Sunday my granddaughter asked me where I was in memorizing the Fa. For
several weeks in a row she said I was too slow. I felt so anxious after hearing
her say this that I used some of the exercise time to memorize the Fa. After I
completely memorized Zhuan Falun for the first time I realized my
attachment of trying to accomplish things in a hurry, and how Teacher utilized
this undertaking to rid the attachment. Through my memorizing the Fa, I let go
and got rid of many of these fundamental attachments. My body changed for the
better. I looked back and noticed that nothing was delayed. Everything was
accomplished with enough time. I actually finished memorizing Zhuan Falun
three months ahead of my original schedule. "To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a
practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments." (Zhuan
Falun) My body was further purified with my memorizing the Fa. I felt clear and free
of intent. Everything changed for the better, and I could feel Teacher's
compassion more accurately. There were some sentences that I had read more than
a hundred times, yet I felt as though I just read it for the very first time and
it was so refreshing. I now was able to understand statements that I never
understood before with much deeper and more profound understandings on the Fa
theory. The process of memorizing the Fa strengthened my righteous thoughts, wisdom
and intelligence, eradicated the evil factors, bad factors and substances with
increased power, eliminated many of my attachments, and increased my capacity
for tolerance and compassion. It is a process of harmonizing the Fa from
microscopic to the macroscopic levels. If you have reservations about memorizing
the Fa, I recommend that you eliminate the attachments of apprehension and
anxiety. Once you are able to do this - memorize Zhuan Falun - you will
experience wonders and splendor beyond description. There was much enlightenment during my memorizing the Fa, and I have only
written some of my experiences to share with fellow practitioners. Please kindly
point out any part that is not appropriate. June 25, 2006
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