(Clearwisdom.net) I was a quiet and unsocial person before I began practicing Falun Gong. People always talked about superficial things like, "You are good, and he is not good." Sometimes, however, when I saw people spending time together and chatting happily with each other, I felt quite envious of them. Because of my attachment, I wouldn’t make any contact with them. Over a long period of time, I developed a bad habit of being shy with strangers: even when somebody teased or joked with me, I remained shy and blushed.

After I obtained Dafa, I realized that that behavior was not good and that it was caused by my attachments and human notions. It was also a great obstacle for me in clarifying the truth of Falun Gong and saving sentient beings. By continuously studying the Fa, I was able to change some of my human notions and get rid of some attachments. However, my cultivation state was still not good.

I remember during 2001 and 2002 that my cultivation state was extremely bad. At that time, I didn’t even dare to interact with strangers. I was so afraid of them, feeling as if they were all laughing at me. Once, a group of people were chatting and making jokes, paying no attention to me. I went over to greet them, but they pretended they didn't hear me. The more fear I had, the more upset I felt. When I clarified the truth to them, my righteous thoughts were not strong enough. I was superficial and felt like there was a rabbit jumping in my heart. I wondered, "How could I save sentient beings like this?"

All of this was caused by my unrighteous mind. Only by studying the Fa could I change it. Therefore, I studied the Fa more and more and spent more time sending forth righteous thoughts. And I judged everything according to the criteria of Dafa.

Master said:

After understanding the Fa principles and developing the right attitude, I regarded myself as a cultivator at all times and achieved my prehistoric great wish to save sentient beings.

On my way to the market one day, I went to a barbershop to get a haircut. There, I clarified the truth to many people and they understood that Falun Dafa is good. I was really happy and it also made me feel more confident in clarifying the truth. Ever since then, I have increased my Fa study and searched inward when problems arose. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all negative factors in my field, totally negated all the arrangements of the old forces, and eliminated my bad mindset. In this way, I was able to change my cultivation environment.

As I was writing this article, my thought karma still emerged. It said, "Aren't you afraid of being laughed at if you write this?" I responded, "No, these are bad things and I must eliminate them."

This is only my understanding at my level.

Posting date: 9/13/2006
Original article date: 9/13/2006
Category: Practitioners' Insights
Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2006/9/3/136966.html

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