I Found My Omissions

By Xing Hong, a practitioner from Taiwan

(Clearwisdom.net) I have not been very diligent recently, nor done the three things well. I was very upset, feeling trapped by the old forces. Even the attachment of lust, which should have been solved a long time ago, now reappears. Recently, I was in a situation where I felt like I was sick. Now that I am awake and clear-headed, I would like to write down my lesson and share with fellow practitioners.

I thought of myself as someone who began to cultivate determinedly right after reading Zhuan Falun. I always felt conceited because of that, thinking I was able to learn Dafa with rationality. As I look back, I always had one loophole. I studied the Fa the way intellectuals do research-- I tended to find new principles, focusing only on understanding the surface, but not willing to truly cultivate. For example, I paid much attention to studying the Fa, but I was reluctant to do the exercises. Because my physical body had not transformed enough, it was very easy for me to get tired.

There were also sections of Teacher's words that I did not fully understand or believe. For example, Teacher said, "We'd say that a good or bad outcome comes from one thought." (Zhuan Falun)

I felt it was a myth and too far from me. Therefore, after the persecution began in 1999, I did not do well. Although theoretically I knew what Teacher said is true, deep in my heart I was still holding onto my own notions rather than having righteous thoughts. When I did things to validate the Fa, I always hoped this thing or that thing would go as I expected. Such strong human notions made things undesirable.

During my personal cultivation, I never achieved the status of "Doing, but without pursuit" (Hong Yin). Very often, I do things from my feeling of responsibility, just like a regular person, instead of assimilating to the Fa.

In "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital," Teacher said,

"When a Dafa disciple has a hard time with something and needs to think things over, he should look for things starting with himself and do things in line with the environment needed by Dafa disciples and the Fa-rectification. When a problem occurs, it is because that person is stubbornly going against the Fa principles. Go and find where the problem lies, let go of that stubbornness, and sort things out. When you encounter something, the best approach is not to charge forward and contend with others, push your way to the front, and rush forward to chase down the solution. Let go of your attachment, take a step back, and then resolve it."

In "Cautionary Advice" in Essentials for Further Advancement, Teacher said,

"In practicing cultivation, you are not making real, solid progress on your own, which would effect great, fundamental changes internally. Instead, you rely on my power and take advantage of powerful external factors. This can never transform your human nature into Buddha-nature. If every one of you can understand the Fa from the depths of your mind, that will truly be the manifestation of the Fa whose power knows no boundary--the reappearance of the mighty Buddha Fa in the human world!"

I found that I had not realized how profound and sacred Dafa is. With insufficient righteous thoughts, I sometimes assume I can solve problems myself when in fact all issues in the process of Fa-rectification are resolved by Teacher. It is our righteous thoughts, not human notions that help assist Teacher with Fa-rectification.

August 6, 2006

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2006/8/7/134971.html

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