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I Found My Omissions By Xing Hong, a practitioner from Taiwan
(Clearwisdom.net) I have not been very diligent recently, nor done the
three things well. I was very upset, feeling trapped by the old forces. Even the
attachment of lust, which should have been solved a long time ago, now
reappears. Recently, I was in a situation where I felt like I was sick. Now that
I am awake and clear-headed, I would like to write down my lesson and share with
fellow practitioners. I thought of myself as someone who began to cultivate determinedly right
after reading Zhuan Falun. I always felt conceited because of that,
thinking I was able to learn Dafa with rationality. As I look back, I always had
one loophole. I studied the Fa the way intellectuals do research-- I tended to
find new principles, focusing only on understanding the surface, but not willing
to truly cultivate. For example, I paid much attention to studying the Fa, but I
was reluctant to do the exercises. Because my physical body had not transformed
enough, it was very easy for me to get tired. There were also sections of Teacher's words that I did not fully understand
or believe. For example, Teacher said, "We'd say that a good or bad outcome
comes from one thought." (Zhuan Falun) I felt it was a myth and too far from me. Therefore, after the persecution
began in 1999, I did not do well. Although theoretically I knew what Teacher
said is true, deep in my heart I was still holding onto my own notions rather
than having righteous thoughts. When I did things to validate the Fa, I always
hoped this thing or that thing would go as I expected. Such strong human notions
made things undesirable. During my personal cultivation, I never achieved the status of "Doing,
but without pursuit" (Hong Yin). Very often, I do things from my
feeling of responsibility, just like a regular person, instead of assimilating
to the Fa. In "Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital,"
Teacher said, "When a Dafa disciple has a hard time with something and needs to
think things over, he should look for things starting with himself and do
things in line with the environment needed by Dafa disciples and the
Fa-rectification. When a problem occurs, it is because that person is
stubbornly going against the Fa principles. Go and find where the problem
lies, let go of that stubbornness, and sort things out. When you encounter
something, the best approach is not to charge forward and contend with
others, push your way to the front, and rush forward to chase down the
solution. Let go of your attachment, take a step back, and then resolve
it." In "Cautionary Advice" in Essentials for Further Advancement,
Teacher said, "In practicing cultivation, you are not making real, solid progress
on your own, which would effect great, fundamental changes internally.
Instead, you rely on my power and take advantage of powerful external
factors. This can never transform your human nature into Buddha-nature. If
every one of you can understand the Fa from the depths of your mind, that
will truly be the manifestation of the Fa whose power knows no boundary--the
reappearance of the mighty Buddha Fa in the human world!" I found that I had not realized how profound and sacred Dafa is. With
insufficient righteous thoughts, I sometimes assume I can solve problems myself
when in fact all issues in the process of Fa-rectification are resolved by
Teacher. It is our righteous thoughts, not human notions that help assist
Teacher with Fa-rectification. August 6, 2006
Posting date: 9/3/2006 |