Discard the Attachment of "Feeling Superior to Others"

By Xin Ci, a practitioner in Northeast China

(Clearwisdom.net)

I would like to discuss the attachment of "feeling superior to others" with practitioners who used to be, or currently are, coordinators.

I started to practice in 1995 and did not practice due to an health problems. Because my third eye was open, I saw many phenomena in other dimensions. I believed in Dafa and started to practice. I was diligent as soon as I started to practice. In 1996, I recited the Falun Dafa book and transcribed Dafa books three times. I also studied Zhuan Falun from cover to cover once every three days. I visited more than 40 villages in order to introduce Dafa to more people. From crossing my legs in the lotus position, both ankles were swollen and turned purple. They were so painful 24 hours a day that I woke up several times at night and could hardly stand up after using the toilet. However, none of this stopped me from going to the practice site to do the exercises and study the Fa.

Since 1999, I have been to Beijing nine times in order to safeguard the Fa. I was arrested and detained for several days, but that did not stop me from going to Beijing again once I was released. Teacher also gave me wisdom, so I was well known in the local area. After being sent to the forced labor camp, I took the lead in refusing to perform forced labour, walk, eat, or listen to the slander. When the guards organized so-called discussions to slander the Fa, I stood up to correct them and did not let them continue. From those in positions of authority to fellow practitioners, everyone respected me. Fellow practitioners also tended to come to me for advice. For example, not long after arriving at the camp, the guards bought batons and handcuffs planning to torture us. When another practitioner asked me if I would continue to practice, I said, "Yes." I will not recount details here. You can refer to my previous article "Understandings on Fa-rectification Cultivation."

Unwittingly I had a feeling of "being better than others." Whether it was a small group discussion or a big experience-sharing, if I did not say something, fellow practitioners would think something was missing. I also had a similar feeling. As I look back, this attachment was frightening.

How then did I realize that I needed to completely get rid of this attachment?

There was a coordinator in my local area in her 30s. She would say to whomever she met things such as, "You have such and such attachments," "You need to study the Fa more," and "This is how to oppose such and such." There is nothing wrong in pointing out others' omissions; the key point is one's mentality--it is inappropriate to instruct others as an official. As a result, she was arrested in an experience-sharing conference, and it was said that she was sentenced to 10 years imprisonment. Practitioners all felt that there was something improper about her--she was attached to doing things and tended to instruct others as an official or by giving lectures. In fact, fellow practitioners considered her a coordinator and did not realize that she was also a practitioner who had many human notions such as showing off, and attachments to fame and self-interest.

The lessons I learned from this practitioner, like a mirror, always reminds me of these attachments. I decided to get rid of them through Fa-study. Every week I participate in several group studies. When I arrive, I consider myself just a regular practitioner. When there is need for discussion, practitioners naturally begin to discuss, rather than having me give the opening and closing remarks. When attending a Fa-conference, I like to listen to others more. When someone else speaks about something I was going to share, I keep quiet and examine myself to see if I can remain calm. Teacher said,

"Nobody should treat Dafa as his own exclusive thing. Get rid of that thought that you've been treated unfairly! When your mind cannot get over something, isn't it caused by your attachment? Our students shouldn't think that this has nothing to do with them! I hope that everyone will examine himself, because you are all cultivators, with the exception of me, Li Hongzhi." (Essentials for Further Advancement)

I read many of Teacher's articles over and over again, including "A Person in Charge is Also a Cultivator," "Further Understanding," "Cautionary Advice," "Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature," "Clearheadedness," "Bear in Mind Forever," "A Heavy Blow," "Another Comment on Evaluation," "Criteria," "Definitive Conclusion," "Expounding on the Fa," "Abandon Human Attachments and Continue True Cultivation," "For Whom do You Exist," "Melt Into the Fa," "The Buddha Fa and Buddhism," "Dafa Cannot be Used," "Determination and Solidity," "Purging Demon-Nature," etc. Probably due to my many attachments and human notions, every one of these articles helped me improve, as if they specifically pointed out my omissions. I had also read them in the past, but why did I not understand so much back then? I think it is because my xinxing did not improve, and therefore I could not understand it. This time, Teacher saw that I was really willing to improve, so I was able to understand.

It is the same when reading Zhuan Falun; that is, it seems as if many places were specifically targeting my attachments. I study the Fa once a week, reading through Zhuan Falun from Monday to Friday, and on the weekend I read new articles as well as Essentials for Further Advancement and Hong Yin. I also studied the Fa like this in the past, so how come I did not understand much back then? I think we need to pay attention to improving xinxing. Clarifying the truth and asking people to quit the CCP is to establish mighty virtue. Without letting go of attachments and improving myself and looking within, I do not deserve the title of a "Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple." Sometimes, slacking off made me confuse "doing the three things well" with "having done the three things." On saving sentient beings, there is a difference in the extent to which we pay attention to it. With regard to Fa-study, there is the issue of whether we can calm down and really study. On sending forth righteous thoughts, there is also an issue of whether one can calm down, just like a Buddha or god, and send forth strong righteous thoughts. Some practitioners were able to ask people to quit the CCP and subordinate organizations so efficiently that nearly one thousand people quit in one month. In contrast, in the past two years, I was only able to persuade about a thousand people to quit. However, I will not give up and will study the Fa more and improve in the Fa.

The Fa-rectification is in the final stages now. I hope that practitioners who have attachments similar to mine will study the Fa more and let go of their attachments sooner. Other than assimilating to "Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance," none of the notions we have are from our true selves. Teacher said,

"Every attachment for you to remove in your cultivation practice is a wall, standing there and blocking your path of cultivation practice." (Essentials for Further Advancement)

In "A Person in Charge is Also a Cultivator," Teacher said, "As you are Dafa's elite at the level of everyday people..." I realized that we need to be more diligent in letting go of attachments and not leave loopholes for the evil to persecute us. Our letting go of attachments is not because of fear of persecution. Instead, as practitioners we need to be strict with ourselves so that we can return to our true home early.

Above are personal understandings. Please point out anything improper.

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