By Duoxue, a practitioner in China

(Clearwisdom.net) I learned Dafa in August of 1998. At the time I had just lost my job and was doing odd jobs here and there to make a living.

After the persecution began on July 20, 1999, because my Fa study had not been solid and I had not learned the true content of Dafa, I gave my cultivation up several times and thus I took a big detour. I was immersed in sentimentality (qing), and had lots of attachments, including attachments to fame, gain, sentimentality, lust, and competition. Everything I did was morally degenerated and I did not know what I was doing. I felt that Teacher did not want me as a practitioner anymore.

At the end of 2002, I began to study the Fa and used it to measure my own conduct. However, I still lacked confidence in Fa-study. Later, fellow practitioners told me that Teacher would not drop any practitioner who truly cultivated himself and Teacher wanted every practitioner to be diligent and to rectify his own behavior. So I began to study the Fa again, but my Fa study was still not thorough and I was unable to evaluate things based on the Fa. I kept making mistakes. The environment in which I lived was very bad. The surroundings were rough and it was always noisy.

Teacher said in Zhuan Falun,

But I did not enlighten to this based on the Fa and did not look inward at my attachments. Rather, I always emphasized external factors. My mind was always affected by my surroundings and I often lost my concentration when studying Dafa. From last Spring until December, I was constantly interfered with by lust. I would be affected whenever I saw a good looking guy, and I completely forgot that I was a cultivator. My main consciousness was not strong and I was interfered with badly. I felt ashamed to face Dafa and I was wondering why, at this last phase of cultivation, I still had such tribulations. This was to destroy me and not to let me cultivate. Looking inward, I know that I still have attachments to lust and that I still need to root them out and destroy them.

Later, when this type of bad substance appeared, I would think of Teacher and Dafa.

From this I realized that I must not acknowledge the persecution by the old forces with these bad substances, since Teacher does not acknowledge any factors of the persecution. I should never acknowledge the existence of these illusions that the old forces have created. I sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Teacher to help me get rid of these bad substances from my deepest, most microscopic being.

Now, I find myself much purer and my thoughts are much cleaner. The biggest lesson that I learned is that only when we believe in Teacher and Dafa, and as long as we have sufficient righteous thoughts, will the evil be totally annihilated.

Posting date: 1/21/2007
Original article date: 1/21/2007
Category: Practitioners' Insights
Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2006/12/29/145609.html

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