Learning to Look Inward

By a practitioner in Heilongjiang Province

(Clearwisdom.net) In the Fa, Master has told us time and time again to look inward in cultivation. I recently had some conflicts with another practitioner. On the surface, it was caused by our different opinions about how to do things. During the conflicts we pointed out each other's shortcomings. In the meantime, we each looked inward to see if we had done anything wrong. Nevertheless, the conflicts continued to arise and even intensified. Why was that?

One day when practitioners were sharing experiences, one practitioner's words awakened me. He said, "You should not focus on the bits and pieces or look at things from inside the thing itself; the great way is the simplest and easiest--study the Fa more." I then saw my gap from this practitioner's selfless words. I put aside my thoughts and calmed down to study the Fa. Then I realized that I had some bad notions acquired in childhood. That is, I could not bear to be criticized, and I resented whoever criticized me. I still haven't let go of this attachment, which has caused a lot of trouble inside and outside of my family. I was astounded to find this attachment. I realized that I have been very selfish and ignorant. I felt deeply sorry to those I had hurt, intentionally or unintentionally. Moreover, I felt unworthy of Master's teachings.

By looking within and giving more attention to Fa study, I found my fundamental attachment: selfishness. It showed itself when I was able to accept criticism, when I longed for happiness, and when I avoided trouble. This attachment has been a longterm obstacle in my cultivation, and I will start now to let go of self and be a genuine Dafa disciple. It is not a big deal to see conflicts in cultivation; the key issue is how to deal with the conflicts. We cannot just consider something as it appears, and we cannot always want to change others instead of changing ourselves. If we ignore the misleading appearance of who is right and who is wrong, let go of our notions, and assimilate to the Fa, then things will be naturally rectified.

I have found the reason why I failed to find my mistakes in conflicts, and I have learned how to look inward. I now stop looking at others' bad notions, nor am I driven by them, as I believe everything will be resolved by the Fa.

Please kindly point out anything inappropriate in my understanding.

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2006/12/24/145344.html

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