By a practitioner in Heilongjiang Province

(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, esteemed Teacher! Greetings, Fellow Practitioners!

Teacher said,

"The path a Dafa disciple takes is a glorious history, and this history has to be created by his own enlightening." ("Path" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)

I believe that each Internet experience sharing conference for practitioners in China is sacred. Everything we have enlightened to while assisting Teacher in His Fa-rectification will be recorded and displayed to future mankind and sentient beings of the entire universe.

I started practicing Falun Gong in the spring of 1998. Looking back over the past ten years of cultivation, I may have stumbled and fallen repeatedly, but I have also become increasingly more mature. I believe that the cultivation path that Teacher has arranged for me is validating the Fa with the pen. In other words, I have been rectifying and upgrading myself while writing and editing reports related to Falun Gong.

I had to leave home and go into hiding to avoid the on-going persecution. Fellow practitioners responsible for distributing truth-clarification materials reported the facts about the persecution in different areas to me and I compiled them. The practitioners responsible for computer operations then typed the reports and sent them to the Minghui/Clearwisdom website. Later, a local coordinator encouraged me to visit practitioners in other areas to collect facts about the persecution in their areas. I hesitated to take this first step because of fear. One night I had a dream. I stood on an extremely narrow cliff. It was daunting to climb to the top of the mountain, especially when I knew that there was an abyss below the cliff. But I had no other choice but to climb the mountain. The next day a fellow practitioner took me with her when visiting practitioners' homes. That day we visited the homes of practitioners who had been tortured to death or were released from imprisonment. Each time there was an experience sharing conference--regardless of the size of the conference--the coordinator took me along. Because of these opportunities, I learned about the truth-clarification efforts in different areas and took very good notes. I began writing articles to reveal the persecution, report news, exchange cultivation insights, share stories of truth-clarification work, and so on, which I sent to the Minghui website.

To rescue imprisoned practitioners, I often went to forced labor camps and prisons to visit whomever was imprisoned. I approached the justice department, public security bureau, and prosecutor's offices to demand the release of practitioners and to clarify the truth about Falun Gong. I also took photos when I visited certain government agencies involved in the persecution of local practitioners and wrote follow-up reports on the persecution. Because of our efforts, only a daily basis the officials in these government agencies received letters advising them to stop the persecution, along with a truth-clarification flyer. To rescue a fellow practitioner who was unlawfully held in a forced labor camp, I made an official complaint against a camp guard because of his abusive behavior. The prosecutor's office accepted my case and investigated the guard. The cowardly prison guard was frightened and began to avoid the practitioner's family. He sent word to the family, begging them not to sue him because he was trying his best to get the practitioner released on bail for medical treatment. He began to improve his behavior.

Later a fellow practitioner taught me how to use editing and layout software, so I established the "Minghui Weekly" and a booklet containing facts about how the authorities were persecuting local practitioners. With this experience I became good at writing reports for the Minghui website and at editing for our local truth-clarification efforts. My xinxing level was also gradually upgraded.

After I returned home and went back to work, I was embarrassed when I realized that all my colleagues owned cars and several apartments. I, on the other hand, still rented an apartment, so I took on a second job. For a period of time I felt very tense and physically and mentally drained because I was very busy making money. I often missed the deadline to produce the local Minghui Weekly, and sometimes when I edited an issue of Minghui Weekly on time, it was not published on the Minghui website. I even stopped contacting fellow practitioners for a while. Sometimes I wrote truth-clarification messages in the hallways of apartment buildings and told myself I was more or less keeping up with the Fa-rectification.

I then began experiencing problems with my computer. I finally went to the city, where I stayed while in hiding. I asked another practitioner for technical assistance. After he repaired my computer, we exchanged cultivation experiences. He didn't say much, but I could feel he was disappointed because I wasn't diligent in my cultivation. I, too, felt that I was no longer diligent. I felt very guilty and decided to call on the coordinator in that area because I once worked closely with her on truth-clarification. Although she was terribly busy, she dropped everything and took me to call on fellow practitioners in the area. She inquired about the truth-clarification work in my hometown and patiently taught me a technical skill useful in our truth-clarification work. She also established an email account for me and encouraged me to keep in touch with them. She even came with me to the bus stop and waited until the bus left. She smiled at me and didn't criticize me at all. Yet I saw high expectations in her eyes, which made me feel extremely guilty. To this day I burst into tears when I think of the look in her eyes.

Not long after this I heard that a fellow practitioner was tortured to death in a prison. I was given her family's address and got in touch with them. Her family and I went to the prison together. When I saw the practitioner's swollen face and her cold body marked with injuries, I felt intense pain. I burst into tears. With tears I unbuttoned her shirt and checked the injuries on her body. I measured the size of the injuries I found with my finger and engraved them in my mind.

We went to the prison office to question the guards about her death. One guard said, "I heard that you took photos of the body." I replied with an unprecedented level of calmness, "We are planning to file a lawsuit against you, so we must have evidence." After I walked out of the prison proper, I went to the guards' dormitory, went up on the roof, and took photos of the prison from there. After I had exposed all the facts, I learned more about the practitioner's death and the prison that was responsible. One day, I suddenly remembered something. I receive many, many calls from fellow practitioners on my mobile phone, but when I was taking photos with my mobile phone, talking to the guards, and taking photos from the prison guards' dormitory, I didn't receive a single phone call! I immediately knew that Teacher was controlling the entire situation. When the guard chastised me for taking photos of the practitioner's body, I could respond calmly. It was all because Teacher was watching over me!

I began making booklets with facts about the persecution of local practitioners. For that, I traveled to different areas to collect persecution facts. One day I traveled to a small town and asked to meet with practitioners who had been severely persecuted. I checked out the locations of all the police stations and other government agencies involved in the persecution and took photos of them. That evening, the wives of two practitioners who became handicapped due to severe torture came to talk with me. Another practitioner who faced severe persecution had not called on the coordinator for over six months, but that evening he "happened" to drop by. We had a brief sharing and gradually we opened up our hearts to each other. I learned how some local practitioners were killed, handicapped, or became mentally disordered from the cruel torture. I also collected the names of individuals and government organizations involved in the persecution. This allowed us to complete the first book containing facts about the persecution of practitioners in that small town.

I ran into obstacles however, when I prepared a similar booklet in an industrial town. I didn't conduct a personal investigation. Instead, I simply collected information from the Internet. I thought I had collected all the facts needed for the booklet when I sent it to the Minghui website. After Minghui published the information, practitioners began to produce and distribute a large number of booklets based on this information. Shortly afterwards, someone told a fellow practitioner, "I read in the booklet that a policeman named ABC met with karmic tribulation and was injured in a car accident because he persecutes Falun Gong practitioners, but he was grocery shopping yesterday in the supermarket I own. You guys told a pack of lies in that booklet." It turned out that the policeman's car accident was three years before and that he had already recovered. I felt utterly ashamed for copying information from the Internet and not verifying it. The purpose of producing such booklets is to clarify the truth and save people, but I have damaged Falun Gong practitioners' credibility because I skipped a most important step. It is very difficult to repair credibility! I have learned an important lesson from this experience. My Dafa work is done well only when all important steps are completed. When it comes to writing, the wrong choice of words, phrases, punctuation, or dates can damage our credibility. For each truth-clarification booklet, I must thoroughly investigate the facts before I put them into words. I must be responsible to the Fa and for sentient beings. The process of compiling truth-clarification booklets is also a process of cultivating myself and upgrading my cultivation level!

After exchanging insights with a coordinator from another area, I realized the urgency of prompting the practitioners in our area to coordinate our work. But it never occurred to me that I should be the coordinator in our area. First, I was accustomed to working independently because of my choice of career. I was least interested in managing people or in being managed. This acquired notion obstructed me from taking the first step. I felt that I failed to cultivate myself solidly, so I thought I was not qualified to be a coordinator. Another concern I had was that practitioners in my area, including myself, were very close and had a strong attachment to protecting ourselves. Those practitioners who were more active in clarifying the truth were not very rational, and some were even extreme in their approaches. I feared that I would put myself in danger if I started coordinating truth-clarification work. On the other hand, I could not sit there and do nothing when I saw these problems. Despite my human attachments and tremendous pressure, several local practitioners and I attempted to coordinate the local truth-clarification work.

First, we established an email account and started sending the Minghui Weekly, a local version of truth-clarification flyer documents, and important announcements and notices to this email account. Local practitioners can download these materials from this email account, so they can learn what is happening in our area. I summarize the facts of the local persecution and cultivation insights and publish them in the Minghui Weekly. When a problem occurs in our area, I point it out at the end of Minghui Weekly as well. The email account has become a platform to unite us.

In spring 2007, I happened to see an investigation list, which included my name, at a government organization involved in the persecution of Falun Gong. The organization also had the address and cellphone number of every practitioner on the list. I ran home in panic. But when I was sending forth righteous thoughts, I "saw" very clearly two Chinese characters that mean "solid." I knew it was a sign that Teacher was right beside me. I immediately calmed down. Next I quickly exposed the local government's plan on the Minghui website. Then I sent the news to our shared email account and urged local practitioners to send forth righteous thoughts frequently during an entire day to disintegrate the wicked plan. Because of Teacher's protection and our powerful righteous thoughts, the plan was aborted. Together we negated the old forces' arrangement.

Alas, the old forces continued to exploit local practitioners' various attachments, human thoughts, and desires in order to create interference in our truth-clarification work. All of sudden I was overwhelmed with arguments and conflicts. I was so busy that I didn't have time to study the Fa. Several practitioners had conflicts with each other from time to time because they were stuck in their personal cultivation or they had the attachment of fear. One particular incident really upset me. An older practitioner with the attachment of dependence and fear dared not go shopping for computer parts in any computer store, so she insisted that I buy the parts for her. When I explained to her that I really didn't have the time, she accused me of lacking kindness and of being inconsiderate toward other practitioners. She went on to "remind" me of my "duties" as a coordinator. She didn't want to have anyone go to her home to repair the computer. Instead, she insisted on bringing her computer to my place for repair to reduce the risk of being arrested. Another practitioner also had a computer that needed to be repaired. Out of the same attachment, she too wanted to bring her computer to my place for repair. In short, they both wanted to protect themselves at my expense at the pivotal moment. My computer then also developed a technical problem, and I wasn't able to send any articles to Minghui. As a result, we almost stopped distributing truth-clarification flyers.

I was burdened by these incidents, and I felt taken advantage of, anxious and restless. I was very upset with fellow practitioners. When I was alone, I often sobbed in frustration and swore that I would never coordinate the local truth-clarification work ever again. Then I heard a voice in my mind that said,

"What hardship can hinder the divine."

("Journeying in the Dao" in Hong Yin II)

When I picked up one of Falun Gong's books, I "accidentally" turned to a page and saw a particular line. Teacher said,

"And should you not cooperate, then?" ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")

I realized that the old forces had been exploiting our attachments in order to destroy our one-body, I told the old forces, "I shall walk this path to the end. No one will stop me."

I then noticed the following passage of the Fa during Fa study. Teacher said,

"No matter how a person cultivates, he can't conceal the attachments that haven't been eliminated. No matter how he cultivates, I use all kinds of methods to expose his most stubborn attachments--even when he thinks he's doing the most sacred work. Even when you're doing Dafa work I will still have them manifest. It's no good if the work itself doesn't help him to improve; the improvement of his xinxing is the number one priority, his elevation is what's most important. Only if his heart is pure and clean, and if he can realize his problems, then when he goes to do the work again the work will be more sacred. So the reason many of our students can't achieve success in their work is that they do the work while holding on to a lot of attachments--they can't let go of this or that attachment. Whether they're attached to their own affairs or develop an attachment while doing work for the Fa, as long as they have an attachment, it will be exposed in the midst of their work. And especially when their intention isn't good, that's when they are less likely to be allowed success. So they'll have great obstacles then. That's because they aren't permitted to do work of a sacred nature with an impure heart. If they can do sacred work with a pure heart, only then is their work truly sacred." ("Teaching the Fa at the Assistants' Fa Conference in Changchun")

I exchanged cultivation insights with an older female practitioner and finally identified the reason why I was upset with fellow practitioners. It was because of my acquired concept of "the code of conduct." I was an avid reader before I started practicing Falun Gong, so I had already formed a code of conduct, by which I judged people and the world. In other words, I tended to tell a good person from a bad based on my standards. For instance, I believed that friends should trust and be loyal to each other. After I started practicing Falun Gong, I formed another set of notions, by which I judged practitioners. For example, I believed that a practitioner must be better than an average good non-practitioner. Moreover, I desired peace and serenity and I wanted to avoid difficulty. I thought, "It is not easy for me to step out and coordinate truth-clarification in our area, given the adverse environment." I expected fellow practitioners to understand the hardships I had to endure, so I also expected them to leave me alone as much as they could and not bother or irritate me all the time, so that I could focus on coordinating the truth-clarification work. In short, I had used Dafa work to hide the human attachments I didn't want to eliminate.

Once I identified my degenerated notions, I thanked Teacher for the arrangements and thoughtfulness, so we could identify and eliminate our attachments. It is Falun Gong's cultivation form to search inward and upgrade in the middle of a conflict. If there were no conflicts, we would all be perfect and would not need to cultivate any longer. The key to forming one-body is letting go of the attachments to self and placing the Fa as the top priority. I went to see the older practitioner and shared my understanding. Together we both upgraded our understanding on the Fa. That night my computer began working again and I could send articles to Minghui. Our shared email account to distribute and download truth-clarification flyer documents also began working normally again.

In looking back at the local coordination work, I seemed to have taken the journey with the feeling of being wronged and misunderstood. I was filled with grievances because I thought I was being accused and judged, and there were many tears. On the other hand, I also feel that I have gone through physical and spiritual transformations because of the past year of cultivation practice. I also have a strong feeling, that I may be doing coordination work, but what can we really do without Teacher? In fact, it has always been Teacher that makes everything happen. It is because we are willing to give back to the Fa that Teacher uses the cultivation form of doing truth-clarification work to temper and transform us. It is just like the practitioner who wrote "Golden Buddha" said, "Through studying the Fa I understood that there is another layer of meaning, that is, in reality Fa-rectification cultivation is not about what we have given up for Dafa, what we are willing to do for Dafa, or how much we have done--it is about whether or not we can truly recognize the Fa-rectification's enormous inner meanings and whether or not we know to treasure and humbly accept the future that Master has established for us." ("Golden Buddha *With Master's Comment")

While coordinating the local truth-clarification work, I eliminated the attachment to specific results. If I can identify a mistake, learn a lesson, realize my or fellow practitioners' attachments, and upgrade my understanding, then I am truly cultivating myself. I have purged my acquired notion of "codes of conduct" and of expecting practitioners to be better than all the good people in the world at all times. When a practitioner acts selfishly, I am no longer upset with him or her because I know it is a natural part of upgrading his or her cultivation level. I have also eliminated the notion of "acknowledging the persecution." Despite adverse circumstances, I will not acknowledge the persecution and then try to negate it. Instead, I am negating and eliminating the evils causing the persecution while steadily doing what I am supposed to do. Most importantly, I have finally experienced the wonderful realm of being selfless after cultivating for many years. No matter where I am, what I do, or what kind of conflicts I face, I must think of the Fa and Teacher first and do my best to achieve Teacher's goals. This is the very thing that the Fa-rectification requires of us as Falun Gong practitioners in the Fa-rectification period.

Once I enlightened to the above, I felt my corresponding fields becoming splendidly radiant and clear. My heart is filled with nothing but compassion, solemnity, and sacredness.

This concludes my humble insights limited to my present cultivation level. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate in my understandings.

Posting date: 11/23/2007
Original article date: 11/23/2007
Category: Practitioners' Insights
Translated on 11/13/2007
Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2007/11/10/165968.html