(Clearwisdom.net) I came to Canada from China in April of this year, and I am glad to have this opportunity to share with fellow practitioners about my cultivation experience during the past six months.
Overcoming the Attachment of Fear in a Relaxed Environment
When I first arrived in Canada, I looked for the local practice site on the Internet. On Saturday morning when I got to the site, the practitioners were doing the last exercise. I stood there and quietly looked at my fellow practitioners. I had never met them, yet they seemed very familiar to me. Upon hearing the familiar exercise music, I instantly recalled the scene in China before July 20, 1999. Then a practitioner saw me and said hello with a smile. I said, "I am also a Dafa disciple." I suddenly felt that the title of Dafa disciple was so sacred and glorious. After finishing the exercises, each practitioner greeted me to welcome me. I felt as if I was meeting relatives that I had not seen for many years, and it occurred to me that many of the practitioners who were being persecuted in China may have had the same feeling.
I asked them which project I could participate in. They replied that one practitioner had to quit the Divine Land Marching Band, and they asked me if I would like to participate in the band. I wanted to say yes, but then a strong attachment of fear suddenly emerged. I was puzzled. In China when I made materials to explain the truth about Falun Gong, distributed CDs, clarified the facts face-to-face, distributed copies of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, or tried to persuade people to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), I did not feel afraid. Furthermore, I often kept strong righteous thoughts, and with Master's help, experienced many miracles. Now that I was outside of China and in a relaxed environment and faced no danger, I became afraid.
At that time, I still had dealings within China, so I had to go back frequently. Therefore, I thought that if I went out to participate in some activities, I would face danger upon returning to China. However, I could not stay at home and avoid doing what Dafa disciples should do. It was difficult to describe the feeling of bitterness in those days. I thought of the practitioner who first said hello to me at the exercise site. I phoned him and he quietly listened to my worries and said, "Each person has a different situation, and you have to decide on your own. In fact, at each performance, one or two hundred practitioners attend, each dressed in the same uniform. Therefore, others would not pay attention to you. If you broke away from our community, it would not be possible for you to be able to catch up with Fa-rectification."
Hearing these words suddenly enlightened me, and the depression disappeared at once. I began to participate in the Divine Land Marching Band, and during a short period of time I caught up with their progress. After a while I needed to go back to China to deal with something important, and I was a bit frightened. I did not know if going back China was the path arranged by Master. I said to Master silently, "If Master arranges for me to go back China to save sentient beings, I will not hesitate. Otherwise, I will give up everything in China. I ask Master to enlighten me." Unexpectedly, the thing that I had to go back to deal with was changed greatly and well done. Besides, with Master's arrangement, it was unnecessary for me to think over the issue of going back China.
Encompassing My Family with Righteous Thoughts
After I clearly understood which path I should walk, I began trying my best to participate in various projects. On one occasion, after I came home from a parade, I found the atmosphere in my home tense. My wife was in tears, and my mother-in-law was very serious. They told me that they were not happy about my participating in various Dafa activities. They thought that I showed a lack of responsibility. Furthermore, they were going to go back China and were afraid that I would get them into trouble.
My mother-in-law said, "We have nothing to do with politics. If we had known earlier that you would become such a person, we wouldn't have let our daughter marry you. My daughter cannot live this kind of dangerous life, and it is unnecessary for us to endure this risk. How do you want to deal with this?"
My mother-in-law had never appreciated me very much because I held a relatively high social position and was smart and capable. On the other hand, they liked me because of my good character, so they had always been proud of me. At the time they had not suffered any losses, and it was only this possibility that threatened their personal interests. What they said, however, depressed me. I immediately realized that it reflected my attachment of sentimentality. I calmed down and said in a calm state of mind, "Dafa disciples are amidst persecution. Everything that I have today comes from Dafa. If I did not practice Falun Gong, I would not be alive today due to my poor health. Dafa and Master have saved me. If your benefactor is suffering a tribulation, what would you do? If my benefactor and friends were suffering unjustly, but I didn't dare to stand up and speak out on their behalf, would you want your daughter to marry me?"
My mother-in-law mulled this over a great deal. I began to clarify the facts about how Dafa had given me a new life, why I could not hide at home and practice secretly, and why quitting the CCP was not participating in politics. I explained for three hours. My mother-in-law suddenly asked me, "I only want to ask you a question. If one day you have to choose between Falun Gong and your wife, will you give up everything to practice Falun Gong?" This was a well-asked question. In fact, cultivation means that we can give up everything in ordinary society. Of course I knew why she asked me this question. So I replied wisely, "There is not this kind of choice. Different cultivation ways have different requirements. Buddhism requires cultivators to become monks or nuns and cut themselves off from everything in ordinary society. However, Dafa cultivation requires us to cultivate in everyday society and to be a good person. My wife and I have a great predestined relationship and I will cherish it."
My mother-in-law said, "It seems that I cannot change you. You can practice Falun Gong, but we should make a simple agreement. The first is that you cannot become a leader in the Falun Gong community. Second, you cannot go back to China for five years. The third is that you cannot talk about Falun Gong to my friends." I smiled and said, "First, we have no leaders in our community. We only have volunteer coordinators. Actually, there are excellent people in our community, but I am unable to become so excellent. Secondly, I can promise you that I will not go back China before the persecution has ended, but I think the CCP cannot last for five years. Thirdly, if you do not want me to tell the truth about Falun Gong to others, I will not go to the gathering. However, if I go, I will tell them the truth. Certainly I will be careful in how I tell them and I will not embarrass you." My mother-in-law had nothing more to say.
My wife often studied the Fa with me when we were in China. She was not a cultivator at that time, but she supported Dafa and realized the importance of saving sentient beings. She sometimes did not have her own view and became confused when her parents leaned on her. I took many opportunities to clarify the truth to her and told her that if we really cared about our parents we should tell them the facts. Therefore, she helped to clarify the truth.
With my wife's support, our entire family drove 1,000 kilometers to Calgary to see the performance of the Divine Performing Arts. After the performance, my mother-in-law changed greatly and was full of praise for Dafa. After she came back, she read Zhuan Falun and some of Master's recent articles. She then made phone calls to China and tried to persuade people to quit the CCP. One night, she made many phone calls. When I went to bed after 1:00 a.m., she was still speaking to people. The next morning my mother-in-law handed me a piece of paper with the names of five people who were quitting the CCP. Getting together with friends I did not know how to begin, but my mother-in-law began to tell people about the beauty of Dafa and the facts about the persecution. She persuaded them to quit the CCP.
Nowadays when I go to the Chinese Embassy to send forth righteous thoughts, my wife prepares warm clothes for me. Sometimes when I need to go out early, my mother-in-law, who is fond of her sleep, gets up early and prepares breakfast for me. When I go to other cities to attend Fa conferences, they all support me very much.
Many practitioners from China have endured a lot of hardships. When we go abroad, as long as we overcome the attachment of pursuing comfort in the relaxed environment and the obstacles from family, we will quickly melt into the overseas activities of validating the Fa. As a practitioner from China, I feel that each opportunity to participate in Fa-rectification activities is very precious. Regardless of how the environment and form change and wherever I go, I am a Dafa disciple.
