Climbing Out of the Abyss and Resuming My Cultivation

(Clearwisdom.net)

I was a high school long distance runner and also liked qiqong, having learned it from qigong magazines. I used to be quite tolerant of the cold. Nevertheless, I began to get colds very easily. Sometimes it would take me a month to recover from a bad cold. In my third year of high school I had to take a one-year break. Doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me and simply said that everyone's physical make-up is different. Their answer did not satisfy me. No matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn't find an explanation.

During my college years I often participated in physical exercise and participated in the college games. Nevertheless, I still caught colds easily. In May 1999, I had an opportunity to read through a copy of Zhuan Falun once and went to a Falun Gong exercise site a few times to learn the exercises. I felt it was a good qigong method and had deep principles. Later on I did the exercises on campus in the evening, but the campus security staff derided me and stopped me sternly. I didn't think too much about what was going on then. I just thought I would start it again when I was older. I needed to get ahead in society while I was young. I could try to be a good person first.

On July 20, 1999, all the media began propagating slanderous propaganda against Falun Gong. My instincts told me that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) was wrong on this issue; Falun Gong was not like the government portrayed it.

In October 2000, while I was a graduate student, two of my classmates explained the truth about the persecution to me. After one year of serious thinking after the persecution of Falun Gong started, these two practitioners came forward and explained the facts to us. I suddenly realized how evil the CCP was. I knew the CCP never did good things, but I never thought it would go this far. I often shed tears for those fellow practitioners who suffered brutal tortures. It was because of the CCP that I made up my mind to cultivate Dafa and return to my own true self. I wanted to eliminate evil and offer sentient beings salvation. I no longer wanted to live a life of ignorance.

I started to practice the exercises in the dormitory. A week later I had a severe fever. I believed it was not sickness but was to cleanse my body. The next day I recovered. Two weeks later my tendency to easily get a cold and headache had vanished. Many questions about life were answered one after another. My stepping onto the cultivation path was one of the reasons I had come to this world. I obtained the Fa and treasured it.

However, I didn't do well telling people the truth about the persecution. The teachers and students often twisted what I said and advised me to give up the practice. They often rendered me speechless. But I believed in Master and the Fa. I believed people were confused. I determinedly walked my path to assist Master with Fa-rectification.

Soon fellow practitioners were able to get on the Minghui/Clearwisdomo website and print out materials. I went with them to distribute flyers and put up posters. I often distributed hundreds of flyers alone and sometimes handed them directly to people. Information about the murders of fellow practitioners due to the CCP-ordered persecution made me more steadfast in my resolve to tell people the persecution facts and offer sentient beings salvation.

Now I realized I wanted to validate myself more than to validate Dafa. Once, I followed a veteran practitioner to share experiences in other cities and encouraged more practitioners to step forward. I left the campus for one week, and my instructor criticized me for my absence. The evil forces immediately took advantage of my loophole. In December 2000, our Fa-study site and material production site were destroyed, and I was arrested. I had been a cultivator for only two months.

I didn't know to deny the old forces' arrangements and thought it was a test I had to pass. My lack of understanding on this issue provided a way for the old forces to continue persecuting me. At the same time, because I had not studied the Fa in-depth, I regarded the persecution as people targeting another group of people and didn't maintain my xinxing well during the process.

The second night in the police station, officers handcuffed me behind my back and then hung me from a window frame. The tips of my toes barely touched the floor. In less than half a hour I gave in because I didn't want to suffer a pain so agonizing it left me breathless. I provided the statement they wanted and admitted many things, including what my fellow practitioners had done. I was sent to a detention center. The college leaders and teachers were called in, and they deceived me. They told me I would be released if I told them everything. Since I had a desire to go home for the Chinese New Year, I told them I had gone to other places to share experiences and to put up posters. Instead of releasing me, I was sentenced to two years of forced labor.

In the forced labor camp I wrote the three statements and did the most disgraceful thing a practitioner can do. I let them brainwash me, and I had many evil thoughts. I also had a strong attachment to getting out of there, which the evil once again took advantage of. One day, two agents from the National Security Division talked to me, saying I would be released in three days if I agreed to work for them as a spy, to which I agreed. I lied. I had no intention of doing it; I just wanted to get out of there.

Therefore, in December 2001, I returned to college to continue my schooling. Those agents kept intimidating me and trying to coerce me to do the most despicable things. Thinking things over for several days I realized Dafa had rooted in my heart. Even if I couldn't continue to cultivate, I did not want to be a guilty person. I would go to a practitioner's home as I was instructed, but would not provide them any useful information.

Whenever I saw the sincere faces of fellow practitioners and listened to their words filled with the power of the Fa, my righteous thoughts were gradually strengthened. I began to deny the evildoers. Just after the Chinese New Year, the agents ordered me to go to Beijing, Shanghai and Shenzhen as a spy, threatening me that I could be arrested again at any time. Although I was scared, I realized my fear was no longer subject to manipulation. I told them, "I learned the Fa for only two months prior to my arrest. I have completely forgotten it after such a long time." I refused to go.

They didn't bother me for a long time. Later, I lost the beeper they had assigned me to keep track of me and contact me. Then they gave me a cellphone, but I lost it, too. Six months later they stopped contacting me. It was Master's compassion! Master didn't abandon a disappointing practitioner like me. Thank you, benevolent and mighty Master!

There were five practitioners among my classmates who were arrested at the same time as I was. Three of them were sentenced to eight years in prison. One was released half a year after me. One was released half a year before me. School officials monitored us. We could not get any Dafa books or materials. We were required to report to them each time we wanted to leave the campus. Under these circumstances our xinxing remained static, and we were even unable to resolve conflicts among ourselves.

I finally graduated from school in December 2002. However, I was unable to get a letter of recommendation from the school, which is a routine formality. When I went to reason with the school's Party leader, he said to me, "You should understand what your status is." I finally found a job far away.

My environment was finally stable, but I had not yet purged my mind of fear. Internal injuries resulting from severe beatings while incarcerated became worse and worse. I often felt stuffy in my chest and had shortness of breath. At the 2003 Chinese New Year, my older sister (a fellow practitioner) told the truth of Dafa to me. I said it had nothing to do with me. In the fall of 2004 my older sister attended my wedding. She brought many Dafa books and truth clarification materials. I eagerly read Zhuan Falun and Master's articles again and again. I resumed my cultivation that had been interrupted for four years. My internal injuries then disappeared.

At the beginning of 2005, I realized that I must step forward. Offering sentient beings salvation is the vow we made before coming to this world and is the responsibility of Fa-rectification Dafa disciples. My personal cultivation must be joined to the Fa-rectification. My PC and printer at home became a Fa-rectification tool. I printed the posters saying, "Falun Dafa is good" and put them along the streets. My fear gradually decreased. Half a year later I read the the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. The more I read, the more I liked it. I printed it and wanted to let more people find out about the CCP's true image. I eventually began to distribute the Nine Commentaries. Although I was able to get online, without the software to break the Internet blockade, I was still unable to get Dafa materials. With Master's arrangement a fellow practitioner appeared to help. At the end of 2005 I got the proper software from this fellow practitioner. When I finally read the Minghui website's main page I almost shed tears.

My wife supported my study of the Fa, practicing the exercises, and sending forth righteous thoughts. She also often practiced the exercises with me. However, she was opposed to my explaining the facts, and I often argued with her on this issue for several hours. I tried to be a good husband, so I explained to her the meaning of Fa-rectification. I continued my truth-clarification work even though she always tried hard to stop me when I was going out to clarify the truth. It finally became clear to me that it was the old forces' arrangements and I must deny this completely. When she stirred up an argument again I kept my mind unaffected and kept doing what I was doing, just like she was not there. A few minutes later she acted normally. Later she asked me, "Why do you ignore me?" I said I would not acknowledge such behavior. Then she rarely brought up the issue again. A long time later she started it again. I said, "What I do is righteous. You should never stop me!" She immediately changed her attitude and said after a little bit, "I don't know why I became confused again just now."

My mother believes in gods and Buddha, but didn't cultivate Dafa. My older sister had advised her several times to learn Dafa, but failed. When I married in 2004, my mother came to my home and stayed with me. My wife treated her very well, and Mother was very satisfied and felt it was the happiest period in her life. Soon after she had begun living with us, I recommended to her to learn Dafa, and she immediately agreed. She said, "I don't listen to the others, I just listen to you." During two years of cultivation my mother became more and more mature. She had initially opposed me explaining the truth about Falun Gong. Now she will write truth phrases on paper money and then go to the morning vegetable market with this money.

A colleague often came to chat with me. I clarified the truth to him. He said he knew Falun Gong practitioners were good people, but he refused to quit the CCP's organizations. He said he didn't believe the CCP would die out. My wife once met a teenager who came from somewhere else and was having difficulties trying to make a living. We decided to invite him to stay with us. On his first evening with us we helped him quit the Youth League. The colleague mentioned above really appreciated me after knowing I had a teenager in my care. He said he finally believed there were good people in the world. He started to chat with me at lunch every day. I came to realize later on that it must have been his understanding side that wanted to quit the Youth League. Just realizing this point, this co-worker came to chat with me again and agreed to quit the Youth League. Then he rarely stopped by any more to chat with me.

At the end of 2006, Luo Gan (the head of the CCP police and legal system) came to visit the company I worked for. Two days before his visit, the company started to investigate the issue of truth-clarification in the company. I immediately cooperated with one fellow practitioner and my mother. We three started to send righteous thoughts at the top of every hour to eliminate all the evil factors in other dimensions. We kept sending righteous thoughts for nine days. On the eighth day we could feel there were only a few of the rotten ghosts left in other dimensions. On the ninth day everything was clear and transparent and nothing bad happened. At the same time I realized our loophole. I understand that cultivation is serious, and any loopholes can be taken advantage of by the old forces. Leaving any loopholes means acknowledging the old forces' arrangements.

The truth clarification materials production/distribution site in my home has been in operation for nearly two years, but the materials produced can only reach a limited number of people. I hope all fellow practitioners can have a family-run materials distribution site and truly make these sites blossom everywhere.

October 22, 2007

Chinese version available at http://www.minghui.org/mh/articles/2007/10/23/165093.html

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